Reason Verses Emotion

It becomes increasingly difficult to hold back on acting on negative emotions when a person’s pride is on the line. However, when it comes to compromising your success in life, you may realize it is not worth it in the long run. How do you cope with resisting the urge to act violently, when a person antagonizes you? This has nothing to do with fear of physical repercussion, but rather the fear of legal repercussions. Is it better to win for the day and lose for a lifetime? Or do nothing, and hope that the other person in question destroys themselves, as you live on passively, swallowing your pride? I've decided it was wiser to take the second option; but it still doesn't suppress my anger. Sorry that the title is broad, and the subject more specific. But perhaps you could share a similar story of choosing reason over emotion, or vise-versa; explain what you have done, and the consequences.

Go work out. Punch a punching bag. Complain to friends. Talking makes the bad feel better.

geo said:

Go work out. Punch a punching bag. Complain to friends. Talking makes the bad feel better.

Thankfully, that's exactly what I will be doing tonight.

If you're not afraid of physical contact, just simply antagonize him back and hopefully he'll take a crack at you. Than you can break his neck with any means necessary. Depending on the state you reside in, you may even get to kill him.

Your pride, for the most part, can go fuck itself. Far too often, ego and emotions cloud reason. There are really not a whole lot of instances--outside of the arts--where your emotions should be used to dictate your response. I have an ex-friend, for instance, who was a pretty shitty guy, whose shitty actions have left residue in my subconscious I'm still struggling to get rid of. If I were to act pridefully, I would probably tell him off, and warn others about his negative behavior, which, if successful, would probably fuck up his aspring music career. But I chose to swallow my pride and just simply stop associating with him in any way, and that was clearly the better choice.

Obviously, the issue here is that your emotions are getting in the way even though you made a rational, reasonable decision. There are numerous ways to project those emotions out of you without doing something violent. The artistically inclined have a built-in advantage. There's also, as previously mentioned, aggressive exercising/working out. I find that extremely aggressive music--such as brutal death metal or grindcore--works wonders for me. Getting stoned, hanging out with friends, watching videos/movies that tickle your funny bone, reading, meditating; there's lots of ways to healthily deal with unwanted emotions.

Technician said:

If you're not afraid of physical contact, just simply antagonize him back and hopefully he'll take a crack at you. Than you can break his neck with any means necessary. Depending on the state you reside in, you may even get to kill him.

The person in question is such an asshole, I'm sure someone else will end up beating him into a coma. As a matter of fact, he's been beaten pretty bad a few times already. He used to be my friend of many years, once I saw him get his ass kicked by two bouncers at a bar. One was an armature boxer, and the other was doing some Kung Fu shit.

He recently got his girlfriend pregnant too. I guess he finds it more necessary to mess with me, instead of providing for his bastard child. He doesn't even have a stable job, and he's been in and out of jail. The guy is a complete fucking loser drug-addict on welfare, and he's totally comfortable with that.

GoatLord said:

Your pride, for the most part, can go fuck itself. Far too often, ego and emotions cloud reason. There are really not a whole lot of instances--outside of the arts--where your emotions should be used to dictate your response. I have an ex-friend, for instance, who was a pretty shitty guy, whose shitty actions have left residue in my subconscious I'm still struggling to get rid of. If I were to act pridefully, I would probably tell him off, and warn others about his negative behavior, which, if successful, would probably fuck up his aspring music career. But I chose to swallow my pride and just simply stop associating with him in any way, and that was clearly the better choice.

Obviously, the issue here is that your emotions are getting in the way even though you made a rational, reasonable decision. There are numerous ways to project those emotions out of you without doing something violent. The artistically inclined have a built-in advantage. There's also, as previously mentioned, aggressive exercising/working out. I find that extremely aggressive music--such as brutal death metal or grindcore--works wonders for me. Getting stoned, hanging out with friends, watching videos/movies that tickle your funny bone, reading, meditating; there's lots of ways to healthily deal with unwanted emotions.

I really wish I could be working on my sprite art at this moment. And yea, good music is a must for situations like this. I'll pride myself on success, while I watch my enemy go down a path of destruction. Like I said in the previous post, this guy is a loser. I already defeated him in life.

Technician said:

If you're not afraid of physical contact, just simply antagonize him back and hopefully he'll take a crack at you. Than you can break his neck with any means necessary. Depending on the state you reside in, you may even get to kill him.

Pretty sure this wins the award for worst possible advice of the month.

Some more context would be helpful. Is this a guy a friend? Coworker?

fraggle said:

Pretty sure this wins the award for worst possible advice of the month.

Some more context would be helpful. Is this a guy a friend? Coworker?

He's a former friend, and he is really persistent and immature. I cut him out of my orbit, over a year ago; he started being a total cunt. His life was going south, so he became very bitter toward people. Especially me, since I was moving forward in my life; finishing school; getting a good job, etc. I tried to be a good friend to him, but he resented me. He started to do this with a lot of people around him as well. Even after over a year of not talking to this person, he still seeks to fuck with my in subtle ways. Recently he did something that was not so subtle; I won't say what it is. But on a scale of 1 to 10, of how fucked up; its about an 8. However, it really has no barring on my current situation; but its incredibly insulting to me. But I've come to the conclusion that its not worth my time.

If I were to hunt him down, and smash his skull to pieces, I would end up losing in the long run; going to jail; and my pride will have little meaning, if I were in a prison cell.

Why would you ask for advice on THIS forum? I think you are just trolling. You had different opinions than me in some old threads, that is a sin!

We all share a mutual interest and this is the forum for non-Doom stuff. He's got a right to seek personal advice. We're all friends here, are we not?

GoatLord said:

We all share a mutual interest and this is the forum for non-Doom stuff. He's got a right to seek personal advice. We're all friends here, are we not?

Any friend of me, is a friend of mine :)

I like most of the people on here. I always thought you were pretty cool Goatlord.

If they are on the destruction path, let them continue and watch peacefully as they destroy themselves. I have to admit, I find my antagonists self destructive behavior rather entertaining to watch, especially when they started pulling some of the most astronomically stupid decisions I have ever even seen in my entire life, no jokes.

What a good thing to do is vent your anger out as media.
An example is that I have little things hidden within maps to display my views or emotions on things or people, I also have traps and sections designed to absolutely punish the player due to how unfair the things are as a way of me getting back at the world.

You could also create "Artwork" about either the thing pissing you off or hide things about them in your works (My GCSE art piece has some nasty little remarks about certain people hidden in the guise of simple objects, nobody will ever see the references though and it is beautiful to know that). But that may be a very limited suggestion/method.

Kontra Kommando said:

The person in question is such an asshole, I'm sure someone else will end up beating him into a coma. As a matter of fact, he's been beaten pretty bad a few times already. He used to be my friend of many years, once I saw him get his ass kicked by two bouncers at a bar. One was an armature boxer, and the other was doing some Kung Fu shit.

He recently got his girlfriend pregnant too. I guess he finds it more necessary to mess with me, instead of providing for his bastard child. He doesn't even have a stable job, and he's been in and out of jail. The guy is a complete fucking loser drug-addict on welfare, and he's totally comfortable with that.



I really wish I could be working on my sprite art at this moment. And yea, good music is a must for situations like this. I'll pride myself on success, while I watch my enemy go down a path of destruction. Like I said in the previous post, this guy is a loser. I already defeated him in life.

The things you're saying mirrored exactly a situation I went through last year with a 'friend.'. I put a country's distance between that fucker and I. Some people are not worth wasting emotional energy on period. Especially if you have a low tolerance for people stuck on stupid.

This kind of thing usually appears on the Blog forum, heh

Is this a co-worker, someone you are forced to be with? If hurting him would result in losing your job and fuck your life up forever it would be better to just go through the official channels. If you have a family etc. depending on you then even more so.

If he is just a 'friend' then stop spending time with him.

These people tend to ruin lives all around them, they instigate violence etc. but are also the first to go to the police and cause all sorts of long term problems. They have nothing to lose, you probably do however, so just remove them from your life.

Kontra Kommando said:

His life was going south, so he became very bitter toward people. Especially me, since I was moving forward in my life; finishing school; getting a good job, etc. I tried to be a good friend to him, but he resented me. He started to do this with a lot of people around him as well.

Resentment would certainly help explain his behaviour, and he's probably getting a kick out of dragging people down to his level. Keep your distance and don't react to his provocations.

The anger you feel toward this person will slowly subside. Be angry and frustrated for now. Don't hold back. Eventually you'll get it out and you can move on with your life. Seeking revenge or even wishing misfortune will get you nowhere.

This vague "I'm not naming names but I hate you" stuff reads like a girl's Facebook wall.

Phobus I like how you casually revealed your misogyny right there. It doesn't change the fact that Facebook is indeed a vapid hole of desolation and that his post does indeed resemble as such.

I like how you think my using a stereotype is incorrect. Should I go check my privilege whilst we're here?

Kontra Kommando said:

He's a former friend, and he is really persistent and immature. I cut him out of my orbit, over a year ago; he started being a total cunt.

Good move. If he's just a friend you don't need to hang around him or have any dealings with him. Just cut him out of your life altogether and stop having anything to do with him.

Phobus said:

reads like a girl's Facebook wall.

Don't you think its a bit ironic that you say that, considering how catty your post sounds?

At any rate. I decided its not in my best interest to physically attack people that piss me off. I have avoided this ex-friend for over a year now, but he sought to antagonize me further. I'll just continue to ignore this person. Thank you to everyone for the advice.

Thankfully I'm in a position where I dont have to take shit from anyone. When people are polite I'm polite, when people are douches, I return it to them tenfold

When you take a little break from Doomworld and come back to it, it's like walking in on an online support group for pathological overthinkers.

Interesting thread KK, I always believed that men think with reason and women react to emotions, but when it overlaps and you find yourself in angry situation try to find an outlet and let it all out.

Back in my younger years, one of my mistakes was reacting with attempts to antagonize a troll who made their initial moves on me.
However, after all was said and done, and after I had my "hard bumps" as they might be called, karma played the cards to give everyone what they truly deserved...
I managed to find people who are way more fitting and "appropriate" for me, while the initial trolls lost everything that they had and lost everything that they were fighting to obtain, as soon as someone who was very important to both them and me discovered about what they did to me.

It's more than just a single demolished bridge behind my back. It's a whole demolished city of networked bridges. Hmph.
Lessons were learned by all involved.