How Not To Act On A Plane

*Movie announcer voice*

"From the religon that brought you "I Need To Wear A Plastic Bag Over My Entire Body If We're Passing Over A Cemetery", comes the latest, greatest effort in using religous tolerance to endanger the safety and exasperate the patience of fellow passengers onboard a commercial airline flight:

Stop The Plane, I've Been Seated Next To A Woman!

Starring:

A Bunch Of Orthodox Jewish Men Who Really Need To Learn Some Manners!

Orthodox Jewish Man: "Enough is enough! I have had it with these mothafuckin' women on this mothafuckin' plane!"

And:

A Bunch Of Women Who Didn't Need This Shit On An Eleven-Hour Flight!

Woman: "What you think I'm gonna do, lift up that yarmulke and give you a kiss? *Tsk* Honey, you be dreamin'!"

Tempers are put to the test as men stand up in the middle of the aisle, bribe women to move, flat-out harass them, and in at least one case, a woman is required by aircraft personnel to move to the back of the plane!

On El Al Airlines Now!"

The first thing I thought was the guy in question is a Muslim. I was wrong. I didn't know Orthodox Jewry shared that kind of... female modesty with Muslims.

Oy vey

I thought about the guy on a plane that said he had Ebola. I think you take the cake though with being seated next to a woman.

geo said:

I think you take the cake though with being seated next to a woman.

In the Jews defense, she could have been a goy.

From the title, I thought the name Gerard Finneran was sure to be in this thread.

[QUOTE]Technician said:
In the Jews defense, she could have been a goy. [/QUOTE

There was a flight from China to Canada that had an elderly man on it. At the end he took off his face. The passenger next to him thought it was odd he had young hands and such an old detailed face.

I remember being on a night flight going to ATL to get to FL. Some giant man fell asleep with his blasting headphones on. I was maybe 7 rows behind him and I could hear his music. Others complained, so a waitress, I mean flight attendant tried waking him up. She failed waking him up, then tried pulling the headphone off his head.

He snapped awake, stood up started flipping out, don't ever touch a black man. I didn't really think black men spoke like that, probably just him. I never refer to myself as a color. It caused a scare, he just started yelling. People got up, he sat down. I think he was arrested or detained. The cops were waiting for him.

Well while I'm bored and telling stories, I was on a Metra train (trains that go to and from a city instead of staying in the city or going from major city to major city). Some redneck wearing a tank top, shorts and sandals kept screaming, I have a bomb, I have a bomb. No he didn't. He's an idiot. The conductors kept an eye on him, the train stopped on a road basically, threw him out to a place with 10 cop cars waiting on the road. Then we kept going.

Storiez

geo said:
There was a flight from China to Canada that had an elderly man on it. At the end he took off his face. The passenger next to him thought it was odd he had young hands and such an old detailed face.

Could you elaborate on that?

I actually read that in an announcer's voice in my mind and chuckled at myself.

Technician said:

Could you elaborate on that?

I'll look it up. Found it:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1326885/Man-boards-plane-disguised-old-man-arrested-arrival-Canada.html

It was from Hong Kong. That's my bad. Hopefully no one thinks its racist since China is not Hong Kong.

geo said:

Daily Mail

*facepalm*

Yes, Daily Mail, I am so fucking stupid that I don't know what a mask is. I need pictures from some Tom Cruise movie showing a man wearing a mask so that I know that when you tell me a man was wearing a mask, he was in fact wearing a mask.

Necromancer-AMV said:

Yes, Daily Mail, I am so fucking stupid that I don't know what a mask is. I need pictures from some Tom Cruise movie showing a man wearing a mask so that I know that when you tell me a man was wearing a mask, he was in fact wearing a mask.

You kidding? I never would have understood the concept of a mask if not for their helpful step-by-step approach!

Necromancer-AMV said:

*facepalm*

Yes, Daily Mail, I am so fucking stupid that I don't know what a mask is. I need pictures from some Tom Cruise movie showing a man wearing a mask so that I know that when you tell me a man was wearing a mask, he was in fact wearing a mask.

HAHAHAHAHA !
fantastic, you made my night. :)

Did he died?