What is this porno.wad everyone talks about?

Obviously it is porn and if it is porn then I think it is my duty to play it. No doubt it sucks but I like to experience all aspects of Doom and over the course of my 8 years of playing doom I have seen some amazing things, fought some incredible battles and experienced emotions no non-doom playing humans have ever experienced. So I think I want to experience Doom X-Rated. Where can I get it? Not because I’m a pervert but because I want to be able to experience Doom in all it’s wonderful shapes and forms.

I believe there is a whole folder full of that crap in the 'Themes'
directory of your local idgames mirror. I never have (and never
plan to) go in there, though.

Fuck you, I mirror each and every single wad in the XXX directory. it is our civic duty to preserve these masterpieces of level design and artwork.

Ok im gonna go ahead and ask.
I've never played one of the XXX wads because I figured that they wouldnt be worth my time. But are there any which actually have good maps?

How do I gain access to the XXX Directory?

No. I could barf ontop my monitor and trace the outlines in wadauthor and still come up with abetter wad than 99% of the maps in there.

There are one or two that might be worth playing. One is a office wad that is by the same author as school doom2 (I think) that is alright for a giggle, there is also one with reasonable sprite replacements and a map of a whore-house.

Sex wads will always be shit. I mean, playing a game about getting shot at and dodging the fires of hell is fun, but the reality would suck. The reverse is true of sex, where I'd rather be shagging the GF for real that playing a game about it.

The porno wad is evil. I've never played it but Goddamnit it must suck. Go play a real porno game.

I've played porno games a few times there... interesting. But now I will be brave enough to step into the domain of the worst doom and most sexually explicit levels ever created. Where can I get them?

At the bottom

Thanks man! I dont know the username or password though and its not letting me log in annonamsly. :(

its ok i got it. :) ill play the crappy porno wads so you guys dont have to. ill put a review up soon.

Here, I don't even need to play them to write a review:

C-R-A-P (-2 / 10)

But whatever floats your boat, I guess...

I'll do it for my fellow doomers so that they never have to suffer these wads. I would get started tonight but the ftp is going slower than that 90 year old man jacking off.

I am not jacking off

there is no one "porno.wad", there are about 25308508799873 of them. check your local idgames mirror, you'll know what directory to look in.

oblivion said:

there is no one "porno.wad", there are about 25308508799873 of them. check your local idgames mirror, you'll know what directory to look in.

Actually, there are tons of porno wads but I'm pretty sure the most popular is "porno.wad"

theres also some wad in the s directory of the doom/ports area that has porn. but beware, it's crappy and funny on purpuse. i dont know the name, but it's something like spaceport or something.

GOATDOOM!!!

The Big Robb said:

its ok i got it. :) ill play the crappy porno wads so you guys dont have to. ill put a review up soon.

Heh, please don't do that. It's bad enough folks in #zdoom have to listen to my occasional walkthroughs of whorhous.wad..

btw that's one of the better ones, and don't forget some are for Ultimate Doom ;)

http://www.doomse.cx/

darknation said:

Fuck you, I mirror each and every single wad in the XXX directory. it is our civic duty to preserve these masterpieces of level design and artwork.

Suuuuuuuuure... whatever floats yer boat.

LordTrasher said:

Suuuuuuuuure... whatever floats yer boat.

Is your sarcasm detector broken?

oblivion said:

http://www.doomse.cx/

darknation went shopping today...

...no...no...I'm sorry I have to ask, what the hell di you do in these wads? shoot a bunch of naked chicks? or do you run about the place with your dick jotting out in front of you rogering every chick you meet? (god, this is sure to hant me one day...)

Ct_red_pants said:

...no...no...I'm sorry I have to ask, what the hell di you do in these wads? shoot a bunch of naked chicks? or do you run about the place with your dick jotting out in front of you rogering every chick you meet? (god, this is sure to hant me one day...)

Heh..

/me blushes

Ct_red_pants said:

...no...no...I'm sorry I have to ask, what the hell di you do in these wads? shoot a bunch of naked chicks? or do you run about the place with your dick jotting out in front of you rogering every chick you meet? (god, this is sure to hant me one day...)

They're basically levels with porn pic textures on the walls.

I did the horrible mistake of playing through the entire content of the /themes/x-rated/ folder. I was bore, depressed and unable to take myself or life in general seriously.

Well, they can be split into following subcategories:

Patch replacements:

Yeah I said PATCH replacements. The authors didn't even bother (or know how) to actually create textures so they just replaced the patches with images of naked chicks. Naturally this leads to some of the textures looking royally fucked up. It can be kinda fun loading one of these up with one of your favourite wads (any texture mistakes will be masked as anything will look completely misaligned) yet it will probably bore you in no time as everything will just look as a blur of pink and tan.

The best wad in this subcategory is Wow!.wad (and Wow2.wad for flats and some sprites) only because the author did such a fine job of converting/resizing the pics.

"Gallery" wads:

These wads actually contain one level or more (both ordinary and deathmatch) of more or less sound quality (usually less) with naked chicks on the walls as decorations. The decorations on the walls are often of prime importance leading to sacrifices in gameplay or architecture. The already mentioned whorhous.wad belongs to this category.

The best wad in this subcategory is probably webgrrlz.wad (six levels) because the levels themselves sometimes show some qualities. Also look out for petravkk.wad of the same author if you like this shit.

Sound replacements:

These wads replace Doom sounds with various moans and sighs. The sound quality is usually harrowingly bad.

In my opinion all wads in this category sucks.


Minor resource replacements:

These wads replace a few resources like three patches, a set of sprites or a pair of graphics.

They all suck.

Monster replacements:

There are only two wads in this category that I know of. One of them is almost unspeakable. The other is not that bad:

Succubi.wad: The author apologises in the .txt file that he had to make this in order to live out his inner fantasies. Well, SICKO! This wad is mainly about slaughtering hordes of naked females and admire said females participate in various lethal sexual activities. It features women running around moaning: "fuck, kill me, eat me" and similar stuff. Well, perhaps the old saying: "as long as it keeps them away from the streets" has some significance here. I had to puke after experiencing this horror, seriously!!

Sirens.wad: Nothing really shocking here just a bunch of monsters based off the succubus from Diablo. The wad sounds are way better than anything else in the x-rated forum. If you really dig this you should get the full version fro Wraithchylde's site. It can be found somewhere within Newdooms "Lost Doom Sites" archive.

Ordinary wads with a little porn hidden in them:

This subcategory includes those wads that could have been perfectly normal wads were it not that their authors just had to hide a bit of pr0n in the nooks and crannies.

Among these is a true classic: Itd.wad, Industrial Techware Doom. The only reason why this wad is down here is one stupid secret room in E1M7. Otherwise this one includes some really good levels. (Especially E1M8 is a beauty).

Wow that saves me from going any further into that folder. It really is one fucked up place!

succubi.wad fucking owns. However, I never actually passed it without cheats. Is it broken?

bigbadgangsta said:

Is your sarcasm detector broken?

No, I just had to have my say... *grins*




*slinks back into own corner*