Doomed Mission Part 1

This is a different series of stories than Doom Squared. I hope you enjoy them

Rory had been in for about 6 months now. The heavy slam of the airlock behind him wasn't helping the headache from the electro-therepy wasn't helping him this morning. The rest of the selected prisoners began to sit down in the old recycled commercial airline seats. There was a few empty seets near the back of the ship, and he began to walk. It was a window seat, the window hissing from a leaky part in the seal. The UAC was good at cutting corners, prisoner transports were no exception. The sun was just begining to rise, and the red glow seemed to echo the thoughts of paranoia in his head. Where were they taking him? Coloney 12? Earth? The Moons? One of the guards sat next to him and the ship began to move. It started upwards, heading for one of the refueling tanks. The sun suddenly came above the horizon, and the light stung his eyes. Squinting, he knew this would become a bad day.

The Ship landed at a small outpost with large domes on the north side of the crater. An iris in a dome opened, and the ship landed in a large outdoor area. The prisoners shuffled off the transport and were directed towards a hallway. They walked around a couple of corners and, after a large copper door, they were in a large room with alot of wires overlooking the transport. The guards talked with some others in another room, and a door opened. The were filed into a tight hallway with bright lights and lots of wires. Their was an exit swich on the end of the hall, and one of the other prisoners pushed it. There was a terrible rumbleing sound, then the floor gave way...

Rory woke up on the floor of some new building. It was dark, and standing neer him was a tall, bald man. In his hand he held a clipboard, and he is wearing a lab coat. He brought the clipboard up to his eyes and began to read.

"Prisoner #2434884, Rory Blake. Convicted January 8th, 2123, Conspirisy to commit murder."

"Yeah that's me"

"Shut up" the older man said. "You will speak only when spoken to. Follow me, NOW" he barked

You go down the stairs, make a left, and go down another flight of stairs. A door opens, and you and him walk down a long hall. At the end the scientist or doctor, whatever he is, pushes a green button which slides down to reveal an elevator. You go up, and look out. You are inside a giant, star-shapped plateau overlooking a huge vally. At one end, there is a large stone building. The man walks towards the top spike of the platform, and you follow. at the end is a lader on it's side lying between the building ans the platform. The man pulls out a gun and commands you to cross the makeshift bridge. You do so, and at the other side you see a a large green marble plate lying on the top. It is decorated with some picture of an animal you've never seen before, looking alot like a demon. There's also a pentagram and a circle carved on and painted red. The man yell from the platform "jump" and aims the gun at you.

You jump on and feel the weirdist sensation since the mind drugs at the prison. once overtop of the platform, the world around you starts to turn grey. the face on the platform is laughing at you, a sick, evil laughter. The red lines jump out at you, tying your arms up. The crater, the man, and the platform have all faded away, all that's left is you and this demon. He opens his giant mouth, and swallows you and your memories.

You wake up huddled in the corner of some new building, couched in the fetal position, grasping your stomach and writhing in pain. A guard comes around the corner and yells something into his radio, Four more come and start to close in on you. You look up and see their faces. Oh god, their faces. They're greay,cut up and bleeding! These arn't humans, they're zombies! you get up, the pain in your stomach almost unbearable, and throw yourself at the glass wall behind you, trying to escape. They're getting closer! the pain is increadble now, and you give in with an awful scream. You look down at your stomach and watch as it explodes before you, sending your organs all over the medics who were trying to help you.

uhh....Kinda weird if I do say so myself. I spotted one problem though, in the middle of the story you change from a third-person perspective to a second person. It made the story seem kinda....hurriedly written.

Tobias said:

It made the story seem kinda....hurriedly written.

yeah, i wrote it yesterday morning, and I didn't have time to proofread it.

Well, you can improve on it now.
Interesting story - sorry I didn't read it before but there was so much for me to do.