ATTENTION! ATTENTION, RALPHIS!!!

Yo house, I say, yo house has now been bombed into da pavement! I repeat, me and uncle fidel castro have made yo little, tin can lookin' house, DISAPPEAR!!!

Oh yeah, and I still gots yo copy of doom 2, and the missing pieces of yo whip (how do you like da cement blocks for tires look)!

Have a nice day and god bless!! :P


P.S. I'm comin' for yo teenage sister next!

P.P.S. In case any of ya'll is wondering... YES, I am bored as fuck right now. So I decided to toy wit ralphis' itty bitty brain a little. Let's see what HE comes up with. This should give all ya'll a laugh (I HOPE!!!).

esco said:

P.S. I'm comin' for yo teenage sister next!

Doomer?

moo.

lol! -- Hey Stphrz... sorry our project never metriculated. My level making skills just aren't quite there. However, if you wanna make another stab at helping me, Orion and the other guy who's on our team (I don't even know his name yet!) in the level design department - I think I speak for everyone at DemisE (our team name) when I say you'd be a welcomed asset. The project is called Fire On Phobos and a preliminary story for the project goes something like this:

 After beating the biggest, meanest, goat legged badasses hell has to offer, you find
yourself standing before a teleporter with an especially sinister looking demon embossed on it
and it's just one of those things you don't have a good feeling about. You look around,
wondering if they're might be a better way out of this place. In the distance you see a
small, old, beat up rusted door. As you approach, it becomes evident that the door hasn't been
used in years. The handle is nearly rusted off, and thick weeds have grown around the bottom of
the door and gnarly vines cover its frame. The door also happens to be 4 feet high. You can't imagine who built it or for what purpose. You tug on the door handle, but, as you feared, it
breaks off. Now what. You become a human battering ram and run at the door with all your
might, making contact with the door and your shoulder. As the door gives way to your heft, you
smack your head against the top of the door, forgetting that the door is only 4 feet tall
before trying to ram it down. Feeling stupid, but glad you busted down the door, you peer inside
to see what could possibly lie beyond this door.

To your mild disappointment, you can't see anything except pitch black. You also find that you can barely fit
through the doorway and seeing as you can't see what lies inside the door, you think perhaps the
teleporter is a better choice... but curiosity has got a strong hold on you; and so you squeeze
your fat ass through the tight doorway. You find some solace knowing that no demons you've
ever come across in all your years of battling hell spawn could have ever fit through such a small
door. You start crawling; digging your elbows into the cold earth to drag yourself through the
cramped passage. You crawl for what seems like an eternity, but never an end in sight. Your
elbows are starting to get numb; you've long since dropped all your weapons and your backpack
filled with ammo. All you were able to hold on to was your pistol and 5 clips of ammo which you
tucked away in your jacket. You had no choice. The tunnel was too tight for you to turn around,
and you sure as hell weren't about to crawl backward out of there... not that you could. You head
onward, one elbow at a time, becoming desperate for some sign that you are nearing the end.
Finally you see a dim light ahead! It's not a "blinding light at the end of the tunnel. I've found
Jesus!" kind of light, but a light nonetheless.

As the tunnel fills with a pale light, you see what looks like a railway car from an Indiana
Jones flick ahead. You finally reach the end of the tunnel and pull yourself from its sphincter
tight grip. God damn it feels good to be freed from that damn tunnel! But now you'll have to get
inside this railway car and be taken to god knows where... it's that, or turn back. You look back
at the small opening you just toiled through and your stomach sinks at the thought of turning
back. You reluctantly get inside the car and tentatively release the break. The car begins to
slowly move forward and descend. It picks up pace quickly and you soon realize that wherever
this takes you, there is no way of turning back now. The railway car continues to take you down
a modest grade descent, and after a long, twisting, but steady descent, the car finally levels out,
and ahead of you, you can see a light at the end of the tunnel; and this time it's bright white. But
waiting for you at the end of it isn't Jesus....

The car slowly comes to a halt at the end of the track. You put your hand up to shield
your eyes and squint to behold your new surroundings. You uncurl from the uncomfortable
position you were in and clamor out of the railway car and stretch out your stiff limbs. You
begin to walk toward the light and then stop. You listen intently; slowly draw your pistol. You
hold dead still. But hear nothing. You cautiously walk out from the railway entrance into the
light. Damn. You must have traveled through some secret passageway through the moon. You
have no idea how long it's been since you were last standing before that teleporter, but you now
begin to wish you had never given into your curiosity; for you realize you are standing outside
the walls of another moon base, much like the one you cleaned out seven years ago. But this
time you’re lost, tired and sore. Thankfully you don't hear screams in the distance. The base
seems deserted. Dead. Only one thing to do now... see if you can find another way out of this
place and back up to that teleporter. But first, you must find some adequate medical kits and
some decent firepower... one can only guess what lies beyond the walls of this moon base.