Calling all keyboards.

We are holding a press confrence this thursday for all the keyboards who feel they have been abused by their keyboard users.
Well, that's okay, because goats have wings and Jill wipes her ass.
That's right, you heard me, Bill likes to lash.
Not a bunch of hillbillys?
I'm sure we all are.
[boot]
system.drv=system.drv
drivers=mmsystem.dll power.drv
user.exe=user.exe
gdi.exe=gdi.exe
sound.drv=mmsound.drv
dibeng.drv=dibeng.dll
comm.drv=comm.drv
shell=Explorer.exe
keyboard.drv=keyboard.drv
fonts.fon=vgasys.fon
fixedfon.fon=vgafix.fon
oemfonts.fon=vgaoem.fon

Sorry about that.. my computer kinda took control over me.
Well, my headset is talking to me, it's saying "AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
WTF do people talk to me on ICQ?
I downloaded a god damn flower icon, I want a goddamn flower icon, not some stupid message serviece dthingway.
20:39?> WEHat the fuck is that.
Sun 6 May???
Is this some kinda game?
Email notification? FUCK YOU EMAIL NOTIFICATION.
GOD DAMN IT..
[boot]
system.drv=system.drv
drivers=mmsystem.dll power.drv
user.exe=user.exe
gdi.exe=gdi.exe
sound.drv=mmsound.drv
dibeng.drv=dibeng.dll
comm.drv=comm.drv
shell=Explorer.exe
keyboard.drv=keyboard.drv
fonts.fon=vgasys.fon
fixedfon.fon=vgafix.fon
oemfonts.fon=vgaoem.fon

FUCK YOU WINDOWS..
STOP DOING THAT..
FF234t@$ty$%y#%h##

/me backs away

Well, I think I can name at least one keyboard that's being abused... why don't you just turn it in, eh? =)

Turn in spunky? NO WAY!

Dude, it's for the best... trust me. With time you can heal. Here, try some of these, they really take the edge off.

Hey, these mints you handed my taste like moth balls..
no... you wouldn't give me moth balls, your my friend...
well, better eat the rest of them.

That's right... keep eating...

Mwahahhaha!!!

Little does he realize he's drawing ever closer to the POISON mothball!!

Your just jelousy because I like the taste of my penis better than your moth balls... umm... wait a second... oh, yeah, that's right.. my penis taste good.

Oh really? Hmm, well don't be greedy. Lop the fucker off and toss it this way. Share the love.

Just because your penis tastes like fetus crap doesn't mean you need mine.

Well Christ tell everyone why don't you. It's not my fault you got your preparation-h all over my floppy donkey dick. I still have three of your gold teeth in my scrotum I'll have you know!

Oh, that's where they went... I was looking for those things.. Blame the dentist, he don't fuck well either... oh.. sorry, that's a secret.. Don't tell anyone.

To hell with that, whenever I wake up with my fly down and a sore ass I let EVERYONE know.

"You're going to feel a little prick in your mouth."

Whoa doc, I don't think so! You'd better turn up that gas 'cuz I either don't want to remember it or I want to fucking love it!

My dentist don't have a little prick. he gotsa big one, and he damn well shoves hard too.

What's wrong with you? Don't you know enough about the world to ALWAYS get a Jewish physician? It'll cost you out the ass, but at least not like you're paying!

My mommy always told me never to bend over for strangers.

So you're not bending over for your dentist? Well I guess it's true that you won't have anything swangling down in the way.

Never bend over for strangers, but it's okay to just grab your ankles.

You think your cool because you make inbreed porn?

Well, cooler than you anyway; you're the pr0n star!

It's your family!!
hey, wait a minute...

Well yeah. My family doesn't count as people. You can't make a porn movie out of double baggers! As is I have to put fourteen leather masks over your atrocious face...

Ohhhhh, I like leather. =)

What about spandex? Can I show you the way?

asdf

JLK;

TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH MY MAD KEYBOARDING SKILLZ.

qwertyuiop
asdfghjkl
zxcvbnm

AND NOW INTRODUCING THE SHIFT KEY!

QWERTYUIOP
ASDFGHJKL
ZXCVBNM

..
This post took me a half an hour.
I'm trying to show you the backspace key, but it doens't do anything.

If I wanted smoke blown up my ass I'd get a length of hose and a cigar!

I gotta penis, stike the cigar in my ass.

The fuck? Who do I look like to you, Hillary Clinton?

Weirdos.

heh
I kicked mine in the teeth once.