Movie Special Effects Suck

Inspired by the Master Of Disguise thread...


Movie special effects completely SUCK and have regressed quite significantly over the past few years. Perfect example, taken right out of that thread, Swordfish. Now it was a half-decent movie. But what in the freaking freakity freakfreakfrekfreffrkrkrkrkr HECK was going on with those explosions? Not only did they look eerily similar to something from Starfox 64, but what was up with showing an explosion in slow-motion over a 20-second clip, in a constant circling outward expanding angle? Why is it their goal to make it as obvious as possible that what we are seeing is not real?

The best special effects are where you cannot tell when the special effects are being used and how they are being used. Perfect example, BAND OF BROTHERS. That miniseries was possibly some kind of god-given prophetic gospel relief to us all. They actually make it look like it's filmed on a JVC Handicam in an actual war zone. They are actually not afraid to make the camera shaky like someone is carrying it while running in fear. When you see a guy being run over with a tank, screaming, while his face is smashed into the ground as guts from his face squirt out, IT ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE THAT'S WHAT'S REALLY HAPPENING.

I'll say it again. Special effects, to be good, MUST be delivered in a way where you cannot tell what is real and what is computer-generated. Obviously, common sense tells you that a guy being squished underneath a tank is using special effects in one way or another, but that doesn't matter. What matters in that case is that it's a mystery as to how exactly it was done. Special effects must be delivered seamlessly.

I see movie after movie that gets all giddy with the CGI garbage, shows no shame or remorse in the fact that its all too easy to tell where and how special effects are inserted. This is not always unintentional! It's because movie developers are all too anxious to deliver the CGI graphics fashion-show style. They basically say screw reality, let's show everyone how many polygons can go in our fake-looking models!

So yeah, special effects suck lately (with a few notable exceptions).

...and then there's special effects which you know for sure are special effects which are used not only to look cool but to further the story a bit (The Matrix and Neo dodging the bullets anyone?). I agree that slowing down explosions generally does suck (anyone see Behind Enemy Lines? That's a big example of slow explosions sucking), but for things like The Matrix it fits the movie.

lament said:

actually special effects rule, especially lens flares.

Lens flares annoy me. They are a fault of cameras and recreating them is silly IMO. On a different note to the thread, lens flares in games really annoy me - why do I get a lens flare when playing an FPS (Serious Sam)? When I look at the sun in real life I get blinded, not a lens flare.

GooberMan said:

...and then there's special effects which you know for sure are special effects which are used not only to look cool but to further the story a bit (The Matrix and Neo dodging the bullets anyone?). I agree that slowing down explosions generally does suck (anyone see Behind Enemy Lines? That's a big example of slow explosions sucking), but for things like The Matrix it fits the movie.

It fits the movie, but that doesn't change the fact that the movie sucks overall. Too much glitter.

Lens flares annoy me. They are a fault of cameras and recreating them is silly IMO. On a different note to the thread, lens flares in games really annoy me - why do I get a lens flare when playing an FPS (Serious Sam)? When I look at the sun in real life I get blinded, not a lens flare.

Because Serious Sam sucks, and games with lens flares suck. The developers don't stop and think about what they're doing, they just stick them in because they look cool. Also because they're stupid.

IMJack said:

Give me a good reason not to put this thread out of its misery. Or maybe cut the crap replies out.

it covers movies, penises, linux, body wash, /newstuff, AND lensflares. it's the perfect thread.

Liam, stop being a fucking moron. I would ask lament to stop as well but that's a lost cause.

/me watches Liam grow large ears and nose while manifesting peculiar regenerative powers.

AndrewB said:

When you see a guy being run over with a tank, screaming, while his face is smashed into the ground as guts from his face squirt out, [b]IT ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE THAT'S WHAT'S REALLY HAPPENING.

Guts from his face? Wow, now we're getting technical. :)

AndrewB's opinion: EVERYTHING SUCKS

lament said:

Yeah I hate it when the movie is advertised as having a guy with 18-inch cock when it's obviously a dildo.

Uh...alrighty then.

Special effects in movies are designed to show off how big the budget of the movie was, not to actually do anything. Anyone seen Mosquito? Now that had awesome special effects *choke* *choke*

Talk about D-grade acting...

tbh I agree with you. Most of the effects in fight club (for example) were fairly seamless (at least they are when you look at how many effects there actually are..) but erm Star wars ep2 for example is just one long cartoon. its like the inverse of 'Who framed roger rabbit?', with digitally added actors.

Another thing that really gets on my nerves is nu-metal soundtracks that just don't fit in with the rest of the film. Cases in point: The one, Scorpion King..

ZarcyB said:

AndrewB's opinion: EVERYTHING SUCKS

Does AndrewB think that Band Of Brothers sucks?

Special effects used to show off how much a movie cost? Sorry, doesn't work that way. First of all, using computer-generated models and the latest technology costs a microscopic fraction of what it costs to build and blow up a real structure.

Mummy 2 sucked various forms of congealed prosthetic post-pubescent pacifiers, Scorpion King was a joke of the unfunniest kind, Scooby Doo looked more fake and primitive than the computer-generated characters in the 1994 film The Mask. What the heck are our tax dollars paying for? Oh yeah, police and road repair and strippers for our politicians, I forgot.

ZarcyB said:

AndrewB's opinion: EVERYTHING SUCKS

Liam's fisty attitude + AndrewB's pesimism = deadnail.

Whine, whine, whine, whine. Shut up already!
It seems to me that you're just whining for the sake of whining. A guy who focuses that much on special effects doesn't know how to enjoy a good movie.
And I don't CARE that you don't like the special effects in most movies nowadays.

ban dsm

I agree with dsm.

But yeah if you wanna complain, I know what you mean, but yeah.

Special Effects do suck. But Movies = good. Well, some blow donkey balls, but eh. Shit Happens.

It is not special effects that makes the movie.

My favourite action movie is "The Seven Samurais" and that's an old black-and-white geezer.

you're starting to sound like an old lady.

Little Faith said:

It is not special effects that makes the movie.

My favourite action movie is "The Seven Samurais" and that's an old black-and-white geezer.

Which led to the movie The Magnificent Seven

Liam the Bard said:

ban dsm

Huh? What did I do now?

I found that they butchered the entire star wars trilogy... it was like lucas was like "..so..this... '3d'.. lets call it that.. is making ...-money-....right? Hmm... Okee... lets make this horrible 3d creature sing a song... and... we'll... make..money...... right?"

orion said:

Liam's fisty attitude + AndrewB's pesimism = deadnail.

Heh, deadie's left his mark on the board :P

dsm said:

Whine, whine, whine, whine. Shut up already!
It seems to me that you're just whining for the sake of whining. A guy who focuses that much on special effects doesn't know how to enjoy a good movie.
And I don't CARE that you don't like the special effects in most movies nowadays.

No, you shut up. I don't care to listen to you telling me to shut up, even though I'm telling you to shut up in return. It's the R&R forum and I'll R&R if I want to.

Maybe if the forum was called "No Rants & No Raves" then you'd have a reason to complain, but I guess you're really just a baseless whiner.

Oh by the way, it's that I don't have the ability to enjoy a BAD movie, not a good movie. You and your love of bad movies. Oh well.

P.S.: I love you.

Play nice, don't make me come up there.

IF YOU KIDS DON'T SHUT UP RIGHT NOW, I'M COMING UP THERE AND BUSTING SOME ASS!!!!!

fodders said:

Play nice, don't make me come up there.

fodders...it was fun the first 5 times. Please stop it.

DooMBoy said:

IF YOU KIDS DON'T SHUT UP RIGHT NOW, I'M COMING UP THERE AND BUSTING SOME ASS!!!!!

Why are you repeating what he just said? also please stop it. It's just NOT funny anymore.

It's always funny

No, now go away

this thread is filled with tension.

AndrewB said:

No, you shut up. I don't care to listen to you telling me to shut up, even though I'm telling you to shut up in return. It's the R&R forum and I'll R&R if I want to.

Maybe if the forum was called "No Rants & No Raves" then you'd have a reason to complain, but I guess you're really just a baseless whiner.

Oh by the way, it's that I don't have the ability to enjoy a BAD movie, not a good movie. You and your love of bad movies. Oh well.

P.S.: I love you.

... the Hell?