i need some help please

i know this question is gonna sound kinda dork but im new here so here i go:

how do i play on line, multiplayer?. which way its the best, i would aprecciate your answers

Why? so you can be another dickhead keyboarder newbie who is still looking for the fire key?

The hell are you bitching about, boy, those guys are the only way you ever break a negative frag!

NOOOOOO!
I got a negative frag against you!
SO THERE!
HA!

Doom isn't golf, you retard, a negative score is a bad thing!

WELL THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GIVE ME THE FUCKING SCORE CARD?

BECAUSE THE AUTOMATIC DOOM SCORE TICKER IS TO FUCKING COMPLICATED FOR YOU TO USE!

Go count your strokes or something.

You can give someone a stroke in doom?
What weapon is that?

GODAMMIT BITCH, NOW YOU FACE MY SHOTOKAN SKIZILLS!

SHINKU TATSUMAKI SENPUFUCKINGKYAKU BITCH!

SHINKU HADOKEN!

SHINRYUKEN!

SHINKU GOU HADOKEN!

SHUN GOKU SATSU!

HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, HUNH?!

Bitch.

That was almost as good as chicken, but it had a sour aftertaste I didn't quite like.

OH I'M SORRY, I MUST'VE STUCK ME FOOT TOO FAR UP YOUR PUNK ASS!

Well please, take it out sir. Time is money, somebody wants to rent that room.

BITCH! SIR?! FUCK YOU AND YOUR UGLY MOTHER!

SHORYU REPPA X2!

You wanna fuck my ugly mother? Dude, it's my turn! My sister got to last night, and you wanna take my turn away from me? Don't do that...

SO THATS WHATS WRONG WITH YOU BLOKES, EH? GODDAMN THATS DISGUSTING. YOU ALMOST INTERRUPTED ME FUCKING MY DOG WITH THAT NAUSEATING STATEMENT!

You know what I'm thinking... my mom has three holes... anus, mouth, and pee pee hole. That means we can all jump aboard. =)

I refuse to join any association that would have me for obvious reasons. Get a candle.

Get a candle? Hey, is that some kinda teenage slag.
Well, listen YO.
I'm down with ya jive.
i swing da rope.
i'm cool.
yeah hommie.
go soap your wax.

Don be fuxin' wit me, nigga, or I'll pop a cap in yo cracka ass fasta dan yo own daddoo!

Now if you'll pardon me, sir, I'm off to get some stanky on my hangdown.

BANANA BREAD!
The secret to all of our problems is banana Bread.
You can fuck it, eat it, fuck it and then eat it.. oh wow, it's so great. =)

Jesus Christ, I thought that was vanilla cream!

/me vomits violently

Fuck, you asshole, that is just plain RUDE.

Sorry, I'm going to go milk your bulls now.

Goddamn you Canadian cowboys, always rustling our women and raping our cattle. If I had my, I tellz ya, I would own Pepsi Co.

So that's why pepsi tastes like shit.

Well we can easily settle this.

PEPSI CHALLENGE!!

/me grabs pepsi and wings it at your head

Haha, he went down in a spray of red and brown! =)

YOU WILL PH33R MY PEPSI SKIZILLS BITCH!!

8===============D
SUCK IT!

Suck it? Okay, all you had to do was ask.

Well okay then, stop sucking it. Wash my car. Plant me a new garage and build me a couple of bushes. When you get done with that you can dust off my P3 and invent me some new type of porn.

New Porn? How about.. PENCIL PORN...HEHEHE HAHAHAHA..

CUM ON ME ERASER.. HAHA.

Oh please, I already have enough mpegs of 8 year olds fucking, be more original!

How about... a nail... fucking a pencil... a .. dead.. nail.. hehehe.