How to Deal with Mapping Sadness

When I initially learned of Eviternity, I was sad. I felt like I would never be able to garner the same praise and attention with any of my works. I also felt wads like Elementalism would always overshadow my own UDMF maps.

 

This is a feeling many have to some degree. They want to do something great, they want to be remembered. Yet they feel as if their own work will never match up to those of another.

 

For the record, I have nothing but praise to give to the creators of Elementalism and Eviternity, and all other fantastic works. They deserve the accolades.

 

What I am really getting at is that it is normal to feel what I call mapping sadness. Everyone has felt poor about their own work when compared to others. It is okay to feel sad. What is not okay is to beat yourself up because you feel overshadowed.

 

This thread is about how to deal with mapping sadness, and healthy ways to get noticed and receive recognition. I have asked some of the creators of Eviternity to give their own views, and shed light on some of their own times of feeling sad. Perhaps projects they worked on that didn't pan out, or didn't receive recognition, or just general sadness when dooming, and how they overcame those feelings.

 

I would also ask other experienced members how they've overcome mapping sadness, too. Thank you all, and God bless.

Mapping, like any art, is rife with opportunity for the creator to berate themselves. I personally don't have any confidence issues with my mapping, although I know a few people who do. This chart may open your eyes as to why that might be:

 

 

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As for me, I get despondent when I look at all the stuff I have hanging in development limbo. The Joy of Mapping 4 and 5 both taunted me for a good year and a half. Jiffy Bag is basically ready to release onto /idgames but isn't up there yet for some reason. Jungle Spirits still isn't done (probably because I had no solid end point in mind for that project). I still haven't made the final level of Zoon. Dragonfly made me a map for A Boy and His Barrel literally a year ago and somehow I still haven't pushed it out. There's also stuff like the ancient "Blocks of Doom II" which I really need to take a look at and see what I can salvage - that thing hasn't been touched for seven years.

 

Eventually things get to a point where I feel offended that that thing isn't done yet, at which point I actually make a concerted effort to knuckle down and get it done. I break out the spreadsheets and checklists and write everything out that needs doing, so I have it all in a form I can look at and then blaze through bit by bit. I did this with Jiffy Bag which was merely a bunch of speedmaps that needed polishing and balancing and had been sitting there dormant for 2 and a half years. I will do this again for more of my older projects, mark my words.

 

I suppose the thing I aim to do with everything I do is challenge myself, break new ground and see how far I can push my limits. With every new project I'm slowly but surely refining the way I put them together, and streamlining their development more and more, and I think the consistency is key here: the amount of care I put into every map in one of my projects is actually what makes the end product shine, rather than however good I am at mapping.

I don't know how much mileage anyone will get out of this, but Eviternity MAP29 is being placed among some people's favourites in the WAD, and to me that's nuts. Granted the gameplay is all Dragonfly but the majority of the layout and general look of it was me. People actually seem to want me to make more maps even though that's not really viable, I have always struggled to finish anything and I've never had much confidence in my mapping work.

[Edit: must clarify that I've not given up, I'd love to do some OTEX UDMF project, I just don't have the time anymore. Music first]

 

 I released my first map in August 2012, shortly after I joined the community. It was Dead Simple, a MAP07 for Doom II in Name Only. Someone called it the worst map they'd ever played, so wasn't that a great start?

 

I've quit mapping multiple times since because repeatedly I felt that I couldn't do the vision I had in my head any semblance of justice, but eventually I would get a new idea, and sure some of them never came to light, (R.I.P, Eridian Twilight, Trascendence, Skittles, ErisTNT) but on the other hand I've just had my most productive year for mapping. People liked my Mayhem 2018 map, people seem to be really liking my Eviternity collaboration... Every time I gave up, I'd come back and I'd naturally be slightly better just due to keeping at it, even if it hasnt been a regular or consistent thing. And I know I'm nothing special, there's still lots of improvement I could still make, and if I kept at it, I know I would eventually do it.

 

I guess it's just a case of trying to stay optimistic (easier said than done I know), and not being afraid to step away for a bit when burnt out, but importantly don't admit defeat on the whole thing.

Edited December 23, 2018 by Eris Falling : Some additional points and examples

Before Eviternity I had not released anything for doom in 18 years. The primary reason is I had set the bar so high for myself, thinking verything I release has to outdo my past effort tenfold. That is a terrible approach to any creative endeavor. 

 

These projects are a combination of many things/efforts/skills. None of us happened upon these capabilities without effort; talent plays a role but we have all worked very hard to reach the skills we have today, and I assume none of us are done. We too feel inadequate all the time.

 

Don’t think that you have to master all of the skills on display in these projects or you don’t count. There is a balance to be found between your own personal visions/aspirations and trying to learn from others. Master one thing at a time, break it up in smaller pieces. Make a pretty room, a novel fight, a nice texture. Ask yourself how it could be even more pretty, novel, or nice. Hone your skill, but most important of all, have fun. Never ever make this into a chore like I did for so many years. 

Since projects which I am working on are listed here I feel relatively obligated to talk about this!

 

I used to be that person, sad because my work won't 'make waves' and gain some community buzz, but look where we are now? I've just released the first release candidate of Eviternity and I've seen what seems to be 24/7 streams of it over on Twitch with a lot of people contacting me and others on the project to congratulate us on the effort - if you told the Dragonfly of the past this was where I'd get to, I'd have laughed and ignored the notion. "That's not possible." I would say!

I guess the best way for me to explain how I've mostly overcome 'mappers sadness' is to turn this into story time and talk about my history as a Doom mapper.

 

 

 

Lets step back to 2005, where I first grabbed a copy of Doom Builder 1 after playing the Doom Collector's Edition. I discovered a world of thousands upon thousands of new levels to play and a bustling community of people who shared an interest in Doom. Couple that with my innocence at the time (I was only 12 years old!) and I got very, very excited for Doom mapping! I found it very slow-going, hard to learn, but I was passionate and every day I'd get home from school and do a bit of mapping when I could.

 

Not long after getting to grips with the basics, I dropped a few map releases which were all commonly regarded as trash (under a different, now-forgotten username, oops!), and my mood took a bit of a hit. I wasn't the top mapper, no sir, but I thought what I had made was good, so why don't people like it?

 

This frustration, or mapping sadness as you say, was what made me take a break. I came back after a short while with a renewed interest and studied the maps of others and very quickly found I could actually make some similar stuff if I was just more patient - I just needed to get better at using the editor itself, so I made a few more maps here and there and just played them with a few friends I had on MSN Messenger. They were the morale boost I needed, they were also inexperienced mappers with a similar passion for self-progression, so we were always cheering each other on, being mind-blown by each others next maps. This I found was the key to my continued passion and eventually my skill as a mapper.

 

What I'm trying to say here is, I feel you need to compare yourself to people who are roughly equal to you / slightly better, not the people you consider the best of the best. Find yourself a group who aren't just mappers but are also willing to play and honestly critique your work without berating you. Try to outdo each other without making it a heated competition, you'll see that with each map you're all getting better.

 

 

 

Step forward a short time and my confidence had returned, so I made an entrance on the ZDoom forums under my real name, Josh, and made a map for the TEN community project; suddenly my maps were met with praise instead of insults by the general public and I couldn't have been happier. This moment could be considered the birth of my biggest project, Skulldash. I made a secret level in the community project which was essentially a proof of concept for the Skulldash gimmick.

 

From there, my memory is a little fuzzy, but I returned to being a more 'private mapper' for the most part. I only spoke to those who were my doom-friends and those who'd asked to be involved with Skulldash - occasionally popping back into the public forums to join community projects - I made a few maps here and there, such as duel maps and a couple of maps for the Skulltag multiplayer project, Hide'n'Seek.

 

This was probably the longest period of slow-moving progress though, I felt I had become a decent mapper but still the works of those I'd idolised were out of reach. My lack of self-inclusion in the greater community probably slowed me down, too.

 

Over the next 6 or so years I intermittently bounced in and out of doom mapping, filling the rest of my time with just general gaming and school. Every time I returned to doom, 2-5 Skulldash maps were made though, so I knew that EVENTUALLY a megawad would be made out of this; which served as a motivator and something to fend off the mapping sadness.

 

It wasn't until 2015 where I realised I was close, and finally made my (seemingly permanent) reintegration into the doom scene as "Dragonfly". I showed some screenshots and, like before, people praised them. This was the final motivational boost I needed to finish the project, get it out the door and start enjoying my place as a somewhat experienced mapper.

 

I realise my online persona is occasionally going to come across as quite narcissistic and self-obsessed; but I have to be completely honest with you - sometimes you have to seek approval to receive it, so don't be scared to post screenshots and share your works, and talk about past projects you've worked on.

 

Nowadays I'm making large, ambitious and well-praised projects like Eviternity, Elementalism, Skulldash: Expanded Edition, etc, and I couldn't be happier with mapping. I rarely feel mapping sadness - but not never. I find now it's not a case of inability to create the visions I have in my mind, but instead a genuine burn-out from being TOO active and ambitious.

 

I have three main sources of motivation now:

1. I've become a twitch streamer - My streams have gone from an average of 0-2 viewers to 20-30 viewers over the last two years. Knowing that I have a small audience of people watching me is both incredibly scary and incredibly motivating; so perhaps consider streaming as a way to help you if your home environment is suitable; you don't even need to use webcams and microphones, just lay down your favourite music and do what you love to do - map!
2. Receiving the recognition of my peers and doom-buddies is still the biggest motivational booster in the world; and the fact that I've now met with a few of these people in 'real life' and am still in touch with them 10 years later really is a testament to the friendships I've built along the way.
3. Dropping a screenshots over on the Post Your Doom Picture thread - netting a handful of likes and a positive comment or two is a very quick motivational boost and also keeps people who are interested in your work excited for what's to come. :)

 

 

 

So, to summarise:

 

New mappers:

• Don't idolise the top mappers and let their work frustrate you.
• Become friends with people who are of a similar skill level and try to motivate one another.
• Take breaks from time to time, when you 'grind' out a skill, it becomes a chore - this is supposed to be fun!
• Do not get upset when people say mean things, it's gonna happen time to time, sadly.

 

Intermediate mappers:

• You'll probably be much more confident in your skills.
• Participate in more community projects, host one if you're feeling bold!
• Keep that circle of friends close, work with them on some maps too!
• Again, you may get bad feedback, take it on the chin and read the lessons to be learned and be positive about how it will help you!
  • You can't please everyone, so take negative feedback lightly

 

Experienced mappers:

• This is where you truly 'find who you are' as a mapper; what subgenre of doom is your preference, be it techbases, slaughter, gimmicky maps, etc etc etc
  • Although you should still occasionally try new things, push the boundaries of what you know instead of staying 'comfy'.
• If you are able to commit time to it, consider making a solo release that is ambitious - but not TOO ambitious.
  • Ensure whatever you are going to do is possible within your skill and time availability. Consider some of the following:
    • Make your most detailed map to date while maintaining a good sense of gameplay
    • Challenge yourself with limitations like 1024 or 10sector
    • Make a very large map
    • Make an episode or megawad
    • etc
• You're still going to get bad feedback, not everything you craft can be a masterpiece and in fact it SHOULDN'T be!
• Let your ambition be 'wave-like', not every map you make has to be better than the last.
  • If you try to crack out your best work time and time again, you'll hit a point where you're 'mentally' being crushed by the weight of what you have to achieve.
• Only map when you are in the mood to; sometimes I make maps when I'm not in the right frame of mind and it just isn't good.
• You're forever learning, there is no such thing as a perfect mapper and never will be, but still try your damn best to get there!
• This is probably the most important one: Take breaks from doom still. I am long overdue one and Eviternity has left me feeling very burned out. :P

 

 

 

I'm sorry if this post is a rambly spit-balled mess; hopefully it voices how I stayed motivated across different stages of skill level though :P

Hey! I was actually planning on making a thread similar to this one a while ago, but never got around to it. Super glad to see I'm not the only one who has thought about this sort of issue. I dunno how valuable my input will be since I've only been seriously mapping for about 2 or 3 years now and haven't released much, but I'll go ahead and give you my perspective as someone who's mapping career is pretty young.

It's also worth mentioning that I myself am dealing with depression and generalized anxiety and have been for quite a long time, so a lot of that tends to bleed through into my work and discussing it at times.

I've been dealing with a pretty serious case of mapping sadness recently and it's spurred me to take a break from the editor at least until next year. I've been especially hard on my own work as of late and it could also be due to burn out since I think this is my busiest time mapping yet since, coupled with working on This Is Your Life, I also joined the Joy Of Mapping 6 sessions and collaborated on a map with fellow mapper and good friend Obsidian. I'm pretty proud of what we accomplished during those three days, but I can't help but feel disenchanted by some of my earlier work because of it. I also sort of felt like Sid carried me a little bit in some capacity during that, even though he insists that he didn't.

Part of me can look at all that from a third party perspective and be able to tell that this is just mostly me comparing myself to someone else I perceive to be a better and more respected mapper, which is a little bit unfair. It's a trap I tend to fall into very often, especially when I compare my workflow to the likes of Jimmy or Mechadon who I think are mapping machines in their own right. One super important thing to realize when you first start out mapping is that comparing yourself to anyone is only going to lead to getting caught in a spiral and never feeling good about anything you do, even when you have absolutely every right to. This also doesn't just apply to mapping. It applies to everyday life too. Everyone goes at their own pace and no one is really expecting you to have to catch up to a certain standard. Doom mapping/modding isn't a race, nor should anyone perceive it to be. Releasing anything at all, however big or small, should always feel like a triumph. You were able to get something out on your own terms and that is absolutely something to be proud of, however how long it took.

That brings me to the other big thing to realize: At the end of the day, Doom is a hobby. It's something we all do because we enjoy doing it in some capacity. Do not take this as me saying that making Doom maps is pointless or that it doesn't actually matter because that isn't the case. The amount of work and effort poured into it is something to truly admire and not downplay. What I'm saying is that it's important to realize that more often than not, it's something we do because we love this game and want to contribute to its everlasting legacy in our own unique way. It's the same reason most artists do what they do. They love the medium. They love making things. They want to share their creation with the world, regardless of what reaction it might get. That's also not to say that there aren't people out there who take it very seriously and want to be able to use those skills for a career. It's just as valid of a reason, too. It's just important to remember why you're doing it in the first place.

As far as wanting to be noticed and appreciated goes, here's what I think needs to be understood. No one expects anything from you. Or rather, they shouldn't expect anything from you. When you boot up your Doom editor of choice, it should be because you want to, not because you're obligated to. I was actually talking to Obsidian about this the other night and he made a very good point. Everyone is wanting to get their magnum opus out of their head as quickly as they can, but of course, you aren't just going to be able to do it all at once. The maps you release are really bits and pieces of the bigger picture you want to paint. Hell, sometimes the magnum opus you thought you would make actually turns out to be something else, or maybe you don't feel like it'll ever come at all. That is perfectly okay, because the journey and destination are one in the same that case. You are releasing maps because you want to better your skills, but just the fact that you're releasing them is the beauty of it. And the more you release, the more people will notice and appreciate. The Doom community is so diverse and varied that there are bound to be people out there that will enjoy what you make. All in all, though, you have nothing to prove to anyone except yourself. It's certainly a nice bonus when people like what I make and I can't completely say that I only map for myself either. I do put the effort in and take pride in what I make, but I'm doing it mostly because I feel like doing it. It's a completely optional thing in my life that I have no obligation to focus on, and for me, that's the best path to take. It's the enjoyment of the doing rather than what I make at the end of the development cycle that keeps me coming back to it. You are contributing all the same, even if it isn't the map you really want people to see, and that's also worth being happy about.

There have been many times where I have imposed time constraints and deadlines on myself and have ended up stressing and getting overly frustrated because I can't be creative on a particular day, which is perfectly normal. You can't just always have a creative spark or an idea every single day and be able to put it in the editor. Most times, I usually just have to draw a random grabbag layout to get anywhere because sometimes that's the thing I need to build off of. Generally, though, it's a better idea to just distance yourself from it if you can't think of anything and come back when you're feeling more refreshed and confident rather than try to squeeze blood from a stone. When you sit there and start cursing yourself because you can't come up with anything, it's safe to say you aren't actually enjoying yourself, and that shouldn't be the case. Remember: Doom is a hobby. You should be doing it because you enjoy it, not because you need to meet some quota. At that point, Doom stops feeling like a hobby and starts feeling like a job, and at that point, it's best to take some time to step away from it if it's stressing you out that badly.

Of course, everyone has their own notions of mapping and has different ways of doing things. I do believe that Doom maps can be just as meaningful as any other art form. There are some truly beautiful and painstakingly-created Doom works that have graced the world and they should be seen as such, but still, they were most likely made as a labor of love rather than out of necessity. That alone makes Doom even more special to me. We are all creating for it just because. The game is 25 years old and still manages to maintain an active and consistent community, even moreso than a lot of games that came after. Every time I think of that, it makes being a part of the community that much more meaningful. I'm glad we're all here and that things like Doomworld exist. It's become a pretty important part of my life and I hope it continues to be. I can only hope that everyone else feels the same.
 

As long as there are people who enjoy what you make, you can't go wrong.
I feel the same way, that my maps will be small fry and crappy (that's why I've only released one), but in the end, if at least one person enjoyed it, I'm happy.
That said, sooner or later you will make something that will gain a following.
Just take your time and enjoy the ride.

A lot of the posts here are long and lofty, so I’ll just toss my opinion out there: It’s totally normal to feel dwarfed by the mapping greats and there is no shame in acknowledging a skill gap between you and the mapping gurus of the world. The important thing is that you map not to be the best, not for accolades, but for yourself.

 

Mapping really aught not be done with the explicit goal of receiving praise and recognition but rather because you want to create and you enjoy the process. At least, this is how I’ve always seen it.

 

”What’s the point of mapping when there are others out there doing it so much better, though?!” Well, let me give a few reasons. Firstly, if the current batch of mapping gods had taken this approach when they were new, they never would have practiced and kept at it until they were producing cacoward winners.

 

Secondly, the vocal adoration that the most popular mods and map sets receive does not represent all the fun people are having playing wads, not by a long shot in fact. Most of my works are total sleepers in the main community, there are people who don’t even know I’m a mapper, yet I’ve received like 20 messages in the last 2 years or so from random people on YouTube or via email or whatever telling me they really liked my works and wanted more. This is a great feeling and opened my eyes to the fact that there are tons of wad-loving Doomers out there who never make their way to Doomworld - and you know what? A lot of them like the kind of stuff that would never be considered for a cacoward or some other big show of praise from the community.

 

Some of us Doomers out there are not seeking the biggest display of technical prowess. Some of us want rough and ready mapsets that feel straight outta 1995. Some of us want unconventional wads that take risks with the gameplay and visuals. If you must make maps with an eye on pleasing certain demographics of Doomers, just remember there’s a lot of us out there who prefer a different experience than what you find with the currently popular/trending wads in the community. Don’t feel pressured into mapping one way or another based on the fickle preferences of Doomers at large. And that, like any well designed map, loops me back around to my initial and most important point:

 

Mapping should be done for yourself - you make what you like and what you want to play. If others like it, that’s just fantastic but it shouldn’t be one of your main considerations. Mapping should be fun and enjoyable, an activity that brings joy and contentment to your life, not woe. Keep at it and if need be, try out a fresh perspective. It can help immensely.

Edited December 23, 2018 by Doomkid

You shouldn’t hate yourself for what you do. Just skip that part and get right on to having fun with it. I know it’s sometimes not that easy, but it’s important to remind yourself that you don’t have to feel down on yourself - especially not because of a perceived lack of quality in your work.

 

EDIT: Hell, I’ve been mapping for 18 years and STILL haven’t made anything good! Whenever you’re feeling a bit low about your Doom works, Imagine what I must feel like, eh?! 😉 Honestly though, other than this year, I’ve always been joyous and relatively carefree with my mapping. I suddenly started scrutinizing my work down to the gnat’s ass earlier this year and as a result I stopped mapping altogether.

 

Just recently I finally got over that feeling - It’s good to hold yourself to a higher standard.. Unless it results in you quitting mapping altogether like it did with me. Going back to my carefree mapping mindset was the best decision I could have made. Rather than dwelling on and on about how others will feel about my stuff, I’m back to doing it for myself and it feels excellent. I might even have a megawad to show for it next year :)

Edited December 23, 2018 by Doomkid

Lots of great replies in here already, but I feel compelled to speak on it as well.

 

I too tend to suffer from the so-called "mapping sadness" here and there. It can be hard to bear knowing, loving, and being experienced in a craft while ultimately having to come to terms with the fact that you just may not ever be one of the "greats". I know that I simply don't have the same level of drive and ambition to make something that makes the same splash that the Dragonflies and the Xasers and the Ribbiks' of the community do. That is exactly what makes them the "greats".

 

I'm confident in my own mapping ability, and I know exactly the level of splash that I am capable of. I've become kind of comfortable landing somewhere in the "hey, it's nice to see a map from Pavera again!" zone, and reading those words on the release of any map is enough validation for me to continue doing what I do. I know that nobody really remembers my maps months down the line, and most likely nobody is playing any of my single map releases well after the fact. But that is OK! What's important, as stated already, is that you map because you find joy in mapping. And people will get joy out of your mapping too.

Some really great replies and I applaud everyone for sharing their stories. While some of the super experienced mappers have been at this long enough to feel confident in what they do, most of us do feel mapping sadness. 

 

When I do, I try hard to remember two things though:

 

1) We map because we enjoy it. Being able to make other people happy with our creations is a wonderful extra benefit, but it should never be the only reason we do this. We don't do this to make money, we do it because we like it. And if other people are also doing it because they like it too, that should never mean you should do it less.

 

2) There will always be someone else who does something that in your mind is "better", but that never ever means what you make is invalid. Indeed there will be other people who think what you make is better.

 

I personally don't feel I'm a particularly good mapper. I look at the work of people like Insane_Gazebo and try not to feel disappointed that I'll never make anything with as strong a sense of place as their maps. But just because I'll never make anything as incredible as Sunder doesn't mean I shouldn't be creating Elementalism.

 

If you enjoy mapping, keep mapping. Share it, get feedback, find like-minded people to chat about it (Discord is great for this). And you might find in a couple of years time someone makes a post on DW about how they themselves are struggling with confidence because they played an Obake map! 

Edited December 23, 2018 by Bauul

Amazing posts here! I'll try to not write anything too big >.<, but as an average mapper, I think I might add something to the discussion:

 

-> You don't have to be the best to be good: This goes in line with what everyone said about mapping for yourself first, instead of for others. You don't have to do amazing stuff to be able to create a good or even a very good experience for the player. Focus on what kind of experience you want to do, considering your amount of time, skills, patience and will. Think about what you love about Doom and then work on that. You certainly won't be releasing some sick stuff like Eviternity or Ancient Aliens, but this is definitely fine. Some of my favorites PWADs are works that didn't even had textures properly aligned (Mano Laikas): Experience is something really subjective and more doesn't always means more.

 

-> It's very okay to start small and little by little envolving and creating your own style: You probably won't get the most memorable stuff released which everyone gets to play and are it's streamed daily, but on the other hand, I'm sure someone will enjoy and will want more of your stuff. As you finish your earlier work, think about how you could've improved it and then keep going. Sometimes you'll receive feedback, probably both positive and negative, but be aware that it can be misleading, depending on what the person likes (for example), so be careful. Knowing how to filter the feedback given (be by text or by watching videos), reaching into what you actually need to improve is another skill on its own, IMO.

 

-> There will always be someone better than you: as a "musician", that is one of the first lessons I had to learn. Go to youtube and you'll find some 3-year-old kids that have some keyboard skills better than I'll ever be. Even in this community, people craft MIDI's that sound amazing, are complex and full of layers, while what I do is a lot simpler and basic. Same goes for my maps, I think every screenshot in the picture thread looks more impressive than anything I've created lol, but amazing people here still love my stuff. So, be humble and gentle with your own work, it's doesn't need to be better than anything. As everyone said, create something that you'll enjoy first :)

Edited December 24, 2018 by Deadwing

What a journey. Early days 1996-2002 were fun for sure. But there were tough times, esp 2004 to 2007 = It was an era of trolling, an era when I felt this community was falling apart with Gammara, etc and I got guilty for some of it myself as I once went through jokewad phase when depressed in life to try and cheer me up but then I wanted to work on something good so I started Whispers of Satan late in 2006. When working on Whispers of Satan (wos.wad) 10 or so years ago I had some serious mapper's block at times and was kinda scared of my mapping, was scared I'd fail miserably because I was trying too hard to make something amazing. It was a struggle as I was overcoming depression in life back then. Look at MAP06 of WOS for example. I focused too hard on architecture and detail and didn't care about gameplay flow one bit, some players have still not forgiven me for this symmetrical mess and even though many other mappers release symmetrical maps some players will accuse me just for one symmetrical room in more recent releases because of this. I even started work on a replacement map (Processing Bunker) that was to go into an updated version of WOS but Kristian told me not to replace the original level so it was released stand alone as pcbunker.wad. After WOS and despite troll wads like uacmn reaching their peak I got a lot more motivated and released 3 more episodes Zone 300, Incineration and Doomed Space Wars. Today is great and I feel the community has really taken a huge step forward since those dark days over a decade ago. I was ready to give up mapping after WOS but motivated myself to become better not as a mapper but as a person as well. I feel that I'll continue to map for the rest of my life even though I am not as active as I was in the past. (I'm a father now) Things are going well with a new Doom Odyssey sequel in the works (4 episode, 36 level UD megawad for limit removing and Boom, mostly me, but with some maps by Chris Hansen and Kristian Nebula). I still get critisized for symmetry even though MAP06 of WOS was made 10 years ago, and even for more recent maps that aren't as symmetric because you'll always be remembered for bad habits in some minds. But now I just say to myself, it's their opinion. I've moved on and just enjoy my time creating maps, no more criticizing the critics, just accept it. If you shut up and don't react like a Cacodemon in distress, then the Marine's SSG ammo should be spared for a bigger and badder fight instead of unleashing his anger on you.

 

Just have fun and enjoy the hobby you enjoy and don't fear the critics. Use the critics to motivate you to become better.

Edited December 25, 2018 by pcorf

Oh, and one more thing I'd like to add on the topic of comparing yourself to others:

Doom mapping is not a contest.

It's good to use other people's work as a blueprint for how you could improve and it's perfectly healthy to want to make something that's as good as a wad you really like, but when you start obsessing over your creation possibly not being as good as something else, you will never ever be happy with what you make. Don't set your standards so high that you realistically can't obtain them. That's a huge catalyst of how "mapping sadness" even starts. It's when mapping turns from a fun hobby into a stress-filled nightmare of unrealistic goals and unwarranted disappointment. We are a community and it's safe to say that all of us want to inspire one another instead of make each other feel inadequate. Use other people's work as an inspiration, not an expectation.

There's a lot of posts here about mapping. I'm not the most active mapper myself (the last two complete maps I made were Ancient Aliens MAP31 and 32in24-14 MAP21), and I'm aware that my lack of motivation to spend lots of time and effort on maps means I might never make a map of the same large scale as other people do. But that's okay - I still like making smallish maps every now and then and trying to make them reasonably fun and mildly interesting.

Something I can kind of touch on, though, because it's my equivalent - is composition. (I was involved a little bit with Eviternity in this area, so I feel like I can comment :P) @Deadwing already mentioned music making in terms of MIDIs, but for me it goes to a whole other level. I'm currently in my second year of a masters of music in composition at (allegedly) one of the world's top institutions (according to itself, anyway - some of my friends disagree). It's great, and I feel really lucky to have gotten accepted in the first place (and incidentally I would have never gotten this far without all the practice I had writing midis for Doom projects!)

However, I'm surrounded all day by other composers. In addition to the other students studying there, every week we get either a professional composer in to talk about their work, or a staff member giving a lecture about a composer too famous to bother to come and talk about themselves in person. Every lesson with my tutor, he shows me examples of compositions that he thinks will be helpful to me. The majority of all of this music is great. A lot of it is of such a large scale, or of such notoriety, that I have a very similar reaction to @obake. It's HIGHLY unlikely that anything I write, at least at this stage, will be at the same level. (Just look up Messiaen's Turangalila symphony! How can I ever compete with that?)

Over time, though, I've realised that writing these kinds of large-scale 'serious' works isn't something that I necessarily want to do at this point. What's important, I think, is finding your own unique style, and if possible trying to present it in a new and interesting way. My music is fairly different in style to the vast majority of the other students here and the staff. It's actually drawn some criticism from the head of the department, though I think he's a bit biased. However, this same style has already brought me places I wouldn't have gone otherwise. Eg, a month ago one of the senior lecturers received a request, from a clarinetist putting together a new clarinet choir, for a new piece to be written by a student. The lecturer gave this opportunity straight to me because he felt my style would fit the ensemble the best! I also am fairly optimistic about being able to break into certain specific markets (wind band/brass band in particular) because that's something that my own style lends itself well to.

So what's the point of all this ramble? I guess it's just to figure out what you want to do, and what you're prepared to do. Maybe you're not prepared to spend days and weeks and months on a single map. There's no problem with that! If the map manages to be fun and interesting to play, nobody will care if it only took you an hour or two to make. And make sure you enjoy mapping! Personally, even if I only ever wrote midis for Doom projects and never got anything performed in a concert, I'd still be happy. I don't write music so much for the notoriety, I write music because I have to - because I can't imagine not doing it. It's still hard work of course, but I will willingly put in hours of effort into a piece because I have so much of a blast doing it. (Most of the time.)