Doom: Hell on Earth 2.5

Sign of Evil – Part 5

“...But apparently he’s just as hard to kill as he’s stubborn”

The female voice was the first thing I heard before I slowly began to wake up.

“Ah, he’s waking” The female voice said. Now I recognized it as Crash’s.
I opened my eyes and looked at Crash’s scarred, yet still pretty face. She smiled – the first time I ever saw her smile with feel. Behind her was the friendly face of my pal Goliath.

“Welcome back, I’ve got good news” she told me.
“After we shut the damn thing down, they could send in airborne troops to attack the remaining creatures from behind, flattening them completely. Seems we did do a quite good job since there wasn’t an awful lot for the reinforcements to take care of. We’re now busy evacuating.
“What?” I growled “No news regarding the demons getting kicked off of our planet!?”
She let out a bitter laugh at my silly joke.
“Wish it were so, but you probably already knew that we can’t beat them”

I got up.
“Now I think you deserve to relax, be happy that our species is saved from total extermination – come along and watch the show” Goliath muttered.
“Sorry” I muttered in reply. “I can’t relax until I know that these scumbags are wiped from existence”
“- at least not mentally” I continued after a brief pause, hearing the dreaded voices in my head return to plaque me once again. I was still affected by the horrible nightmares I had had in my sleep.

Neither Goliath nor Crash replied, but Crash walked away. I followed her quietly. We were still inside of the star port somewhere. I could see soldiers everywhere and workers clearing up the worst of the mess.

The Lieutenant led me through a door and out into the open. Before me, I could see the many transport starships on launch ramps, pointing towards the sky. I saw never-ending lines of people, stretching on endlessly and ending up being swallowed by the entryway to each of the starships.

A line of people went right past me. I saw the ragged humans, all heavily marked by the mind numbing events they had witnessed and the sorrow of the loss of countless loved ones, but I also saw a brief glimpse of joy on their faces – they were finally going into deep space, they were leaving the nightmare behind.

Yes, leaving the nightmare behind to grow even more foul and spread its tentacles I thought to myself deeply depressed.

My eyes suddenly fell upon a young, black woman in the crowd. I only noticed her because she was staring fixedly at me almost as if she thought she might recognize me.
I looked surprised back at her and then I recognized her!

It was the very same teenage girl I had saved a couple of days ago when I exhausted as I was returned to my overrun planet from my nightmare of an experience in Hell. The very girl who had warned me and begged me to flee and save myself when I saved her life with a spare stim pack.
I doubt I can save myself anymore I thought grimly.
But at least now we have saved a lot of people...

I turned to Kaminsky who stood next to me. “How long time have I been “away”?” I asked her.
“Two days” She replied and paused. “You stupid fucktard!” She continued in a low voice. “Why would you blast that thing and not make sure you were safe from the blast? Why would you blow it up in the first place? You could have been dead!”
“I had to ensure that the freaks didn’t get to it and reactivate the damn barrier – how am I supposed to know the damn explosion would be so powerful?”
“And why didn’t you warn us beforehand?” She continued sharply.
“Dunno...” I replied dryly. “It was just my instinct – I did it... almost as if I was thinking that it was only myself who was present there, the only one at the scene...I..can’t...really explain it...”
There was a deep silence as we trudged along. Crash clearly lost in her thoughts.

“Anyway” She resumed in a milder voice. “We had to keep you tranquilized for two whole days to ensure that your body would heal normally.
I let out a grunt in response. “Any lost limbs that you had to replace?”
“No, you were lucky that you didn’t lose any limbs, but you were pretty close”

-

“All right troops!” General Sheppard began.
Before him stood the survivors from the star base attack – those that had been in the assault from the beginning. It was depressing to realize that of all those thousands who participated in the initial attack, only less than a platoon had survived. The survivors had finally been assembled – I had not been the only one in the temporary sick bay.

“Words cannot describe how proud I am of you all. You have all been through Hell and survived!”
It doesn’t even get close to what Hell is like! I thought bitterly to myself.
“We had grossly underestimated our enemies and an operation that should have gone many times smoother than what it ended up have left a lot of our friends dead, BUT...” He made a dramatic pause.
Man, does he ever do anything else but talk? I thought with a brief smile.
“You have done it! You have cleansed the star port, you have won! And your victory has enabled humankind to evacuate and escape the nightmare. Thanks to you all, mankind shall prevail and although you have lost many friends, many more lives have been saved. The whole of humanity is so grateful towards you that it cannot be described by words alone.

The morale boosting speech was over and the General led the talk on to more serious matters.
“Unfortunately, the alien freaks have made a mess of the star port’s systems. That means that we can’t carry out the launch procedure of the super starships from aboard the spacecrafts”

A long deathlike silence ensued.

“The launch procedure can only be activated from the ground – from this star port! So that means we have to leave someone behind to launch the super ships. Trust me people, I couldn’t have been happier if we figured out that there was another way, but we have tried to think of a way, but there isn’t! The original system is damaged beyond repair in many places and we do not have several years to construct another”

The troops cast nervous glances at each other. I narrowed my eyes.

“Another issue is that the aliens will surely try to retake Omega, so we have to make it quick and launch the people here into space soon before they can take it from us again – this means that a lot of people will be left behind on Earth. Once in space, we will send military patrols back to Earth to look for survivors and fly them out of there and into the super ships. They must not be left behind!”
“Then we are in trouble General Sir!” a soldier said. “The aliens could be here any minute!”

“You’re right son, but now we are ready for them – we have reactivated and reprogrammed the entire Omega security system. It is programmed to detect and exterminate any life form that is not of Earth origin, so if the bastards teleport in, they should have a really tough fight no matter how many they are!”

“Then the question is: Who’s gonna stay behind Sir?”
The General shook his head. “I was hoping that someone would volunteer”

I had made up my mind. In fact, I had made up my mind long before the assault on the star port had even started.
I took a long step forward and said aloud: “I’ll stay Sir!”

Everyone looked wide-eyed at me. The General gave me a long serious look.
“You sure you wanna do this son?”

I simply nodded without any sign of hesitation and with a grim demeanor.

-

The General was honoring me with a personal briefing in an office that was the General’s temporary office on Omega base. He offered me a bottle of Scotch and I gulped down the liquor without any toast ceremonies. The General continued the briefing, while I wiped drops of the strong drink away with my underarm.

“We have left a shitload of ammo and supplies for ya so that you at least have a chance of staying alive for as long as possible and as you know, the security systems on this base are now programmed to identify and kill any intruders of non-earth origin – that goes for the zombies as well” He paused again.

“Son” he said. “If I were you I’d stay here and wait for a military patrol craft to pick you up – we’ll send them out as soon as we’re space borne and we’ll be sure to send one your way”

I looked the old man into his eyes. “With all due respect Sir, but I think you should concentrate your efforts on seeking out other survivors elsewhere and not waste more soldiers’ lives on me”
His eyes widened, but I continued ignoring his reaction.
“I’m being honest with your Sir: I am afraid that I’ve become too dangerous for other human beings, due to mental effects of the battle” I told him, lying about the bit with the battle being the cause of my mental problem – if I told him the truth he’d never believe me!

“And as such I would rather die here on Earth than risk killing humans myself. And besides, I want to try and find the source of the invasion and shut it down”
The General gave me a long stare. I could see that he thought I was a raving lunatic, which wasn’t too far off.

“My word, you really ARE crazy” He mumbled, more to himself than to me, but then he nodded.

“Sir, I have another request to make” I said.
“Speak freely son”
“When you’re out there safe in space, activate your sensors and try and search for a vast source of power – I’m pretty sure that the source emits an enormous power signature of sorts”

He thought out loud, then nodded again and said: “Right, I’ll make sure that we’ll do as you request, but to be honest, I think it’s suicide”
“It’s suicide to stay behind anyway Sir, why not make the best out of it?”
The General thought out loud again, moving his hand thoughtfully over his chin. “You’re right soldier, it’s probably the best thing to do”

He cast nervous glances at the topographical map on his computer screen before he looked at me again.

“Now go get some sleep son – if you really plan to carry out this...this undertaking, then you’re gonna need it”

...

So I was right about that machine, heheh.

Anyway, there's a slight spelling mistake:

"I line of people went right past me."

Nice story, but...

It was the very same teenage girl I had saved a couple of days ago when I exhausted as I was returned to my overrun planet from my nightmare of an experience in Hell.

That one heck of nonsense there. My suggestion would be: "when I returned to my overrun planet, exhausted from my (nightmarish) experience in Hell."

[quote] “You have done it! You have cleansed the star port, you have won! And your victory has enabled humankind to evacuate and escape the nightmare.QUOTE]

That part is a bit repetitive and VERY similar to MAP11 intermission text IMO. Also, it'll be better if you used "we" instead of "you".
And dont forget to accord the subject! :)


Last note: You were quick ;)

Cool. This part of the Doom 2 story always seemed too sketchy. Glad to see it revived.

The entire Omega starport's security system was completly reprogrammed withing 2 days? Impossible, the complex is huge, and most of it would have been destroyed.

Also, why doesn't the doomguy tell the general about his experiances in Hell?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[...]when I exhausted as I was returned to my overrun planet from my nightmare of an experience in Hell.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That one heck of nonsense there. My suggestion would be: "when I returned to my overrun planet, exhausted from my (nightmarish) experience in Hell."

I do not agree on that - I've heard sentences structured that way far too many times to back down on it now. I structured it that way to give it a more dramatic "feel". You would have to give me one Hell of a good explanation to why it's nonsense to make me change it.

QUOTE
“You have done it! You have cleansed the star port, you have won! And your victory has enabled humankind to evacuate and escape the nightmare.QUOTE

That part is a bit repetitive and VERY similar to MAP11 intermission text IMO. Also, it'll be better if you used "we" instead of "you".
And dont forget to accord the subject! :)

No! The General is directing his speech at the troops - it's THEY who've done it, he's supposed to make them feel good about their achievement and that would be spoiled if he included himself by saying 'we'.
And it was made similar to the story text on purpose, so I'm not going to change that.

Last note: You were quick

Too quick perhaps..

The entire Omega starport's security system was completly reprogrammed withing 2 days? Impossible, the complex is huge, and most of it would have been destroyed.

Why would that be impossible? They have had an army of techs to do it, who have been working like crazy plus 2 days is a long time if you work with next to no breaks. The complex may be huge, but there are only a few computer centres within that complex and thus not that many computers - they only had to fix a few computers, also note that the General is likely no tech genius, he might just be thinking that the techs reprogrammed the comps, while in truth they only fixed a few things.

Also, why doesn't the doomguy tell the general about his experiances in Hell?

Are you outta your friggin' mind???
Nobody would believe him if he told them the truth - he already told a few people that he had been to Hell and they were convinced that he lied. To them, the demons are just extra-terrastrial aliens.

I can't wait for 2.6...how will he say goodbye to Goliath? How will he say goodbye to Crash????!!!!???? What kinds of cool weapons will he get? What are those damn voices saying!?!?!?

BigBadGangsta said:
I can't wait for 2.6...how will he say goodbye to Goliath? How will he say goodbye to Crash????!!!!????

With a heavy, but determined heart :-)

What kinds of cool weapons will he get?

Typical Doom weapons most likely.

What are those damn voices saying!?!?!?

"MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!", "puny mortal!", "Join us you will", "It is all your fault!", "Noo, please no, d...doon't.... SAVE ME!!!, aaaaaaaaarrrrrggghhhhhh!!!", "I'mmm buuurniiiiiiiingggg!!!", "BURN!!"...

All sorts of weird crap. I'm sure that the spirits of the damned are so fucked up that most of what they'll scream will be incoherent shit.

Does he get teh gurl? (you know what I mean) :)

ravage said:

Does he get teh gurl? (you know what I mean) :)

Yeah, like "As I finished saying goodbye to Crash, she looked down, probably to stop from crying. Then she lifted her head and looked up at me, smiled, winked, grabbed my hand and led me to her private quarters where she said goodbye in her own way" :-P

]when I exhausted as I was returned...

HE exhausted? :)


THIS's the nonsense i was talking about

Mr. NobodX said:

HE exhausted? :)


THIS's the nonsense i was talking about

Yeah I understand what part you're talking about, but honestly I can't see what's wrong with saying that.

I probably wouldn't use it in a normal spoken conversation, but in a story telling text like this where I intend to be as dramatic as possible I can't see anything wrong with it really.

Maybe some commas would've been in order: When I, exhausted as I was, returned blah, blah...

Are you a native speaker btw?
Anyway, I'm to tired to try and restructure the shit now...let's just say that you got me prepared to make the sentence structure a little more simple in the future ok?