Doom Squared Part 18

Doom Squared part 18

AFTER - ACTION REPORT:

...the first lift lowered faster than I had expected, and 4 revenents came running out, rockets blazing. I started to run backwards and pulled out the shotgun from the pack. I took a rocket to the side of the head, knocking me down and leaving a painful ringing in my left ear. Before I had time to get up and fire, the skeletal forms had crowded around me and were beating me with their oversized fists.

The blast was painful, more painful than anything I had felt yet. My organs felt cold and dead, my skin streatched to its limit. My eyes could see nothing but a flash of green, and then blackness. My helmet was crackling with electricity. I huddled up against the ground, grasping myself in the fetal position, trying to deal with the excrutiating pain.

I could hear breathing neerby, human breathing. Human breathing and the sound of their BFG cooling down. They mustn't have seen me, only the revenants. Someone else was coming, their boots grinding against the gravel. They were running.

"What happened? What did you do?" It was Jess.

"God, I didn't see him, all I saw was the revenents beating something. All I had was this gun from the..." Alex was cut off by Jess.

"Shut up and help me. We got to get him to the teleporter. There's about ten mancubuses coming from the other side of the area. Here, help me carry him." I felt their arms wrapping around me, lifting me and carrying me. There was a growl from behind, and suddenly a massive explosion of heat on my lower back. I winced and felt myself being dropped onto a cold metal platform, then suddenly being raised quickly. Alex and Jess pulled out their weapons, and the sound of plasma and bullets being sent at our attackers hurt my damaged ears. There was another hiss of the platform, but everything was fading away. The sound of the teleporter was the last thing I could remember.

I awoke in a brown room, smelling of grease and body odor. Most of my combat gear and clothes were off of me, and I was lying on a towel with a wool blanket covering my torso down.

"He's waking up. Get him some water..." Jess's voice came from the right.

I opened my eyes and saw her sitting in the corner, stirring something in a pot on a portable stove. From the other side, Alex held a bottle of water to my lips. It was cold, and it chilled my nevk on the way down.

"Don't try to get up, you took alot of damage to your back and ribs. Few men have survived a BFG blast without being gibbed and lived to tell about it."

"So where are we, and what time is it?" I asked, slowly raising myself. the left side of my head was wrapped in cloth, moist from blood. There were bandages wrapped around my chest and a large dressing on my back. I knew that most of these would have to come off if I wanted to get my armour back on.

"It's noon , and we're in what was once a toolshed for a nice mansion here. Reports from the alpha team say that most of it has become warped by the demons, and the only remaining safe area is the courtyard atrium in the middle. There's also high levels of radiation coming from the northeast of us." Jess lifted the pot off the propane burner and poured the brown liquid into a bowl.

"If it's okey, we could use some rest, sir. We've been fixing you up, and if we're gonna take on anymore monsters, we need to sleep awhile." Alex asked, stuttering. He was probably nervous about how I might react to him shooting me, now that I was awake.

"Go ahead, both of you, i'll keep guard again." Jess pulled out a blanket and threw me some fresh clothes from my pack. They both fell asleep within a few minuites.

I was in a large wooden room with walls of flesh. There were two doors, a metal one with a hidious warped face, and a more modern one marked 'sewer' had blue security level guards. Jess had left me a bowl of soup ration. Little bits of freeze dried vegtables in a protein-beef formula. I ate it and walked around a bit, trying to toughen up my injuries. They had caught me in a moment of weakness, and knew that I couldn't show this side of me again...

Nice descriptions. Good work, but I do think it's a little too fantastic that the doomguy survives a revenant rocket to the head.

I know that in the game you can survive a fair bit, but that's because it's just that: A game. This is not a game, this is a story that's supposed to at least feel a little bit realistic - try and pursue some realism.

Otherwise, pretty good.

Good work. The BFG part, however, isn't descriptive enough (I thought "the blast" were the revenants punchs)