Bananas + Hitler + Genetic Engineering = Apocalypse

My sister's husband, who is a pastor in training, was talking about apocalypse stuff and how genetic engineering has a hand in it. He said that in the scriptures it states that there will be seven rulers that will be used by satan to destroy the Jews. Some of which were Nero, Nebuchadnezzar, Herod, even Hitler. It also stated that the seventh of them, which scriptures did all but say "Hitler is he", will be the guy who will be satan's final chance at claiming the earth. Problem is that Hitler is dead. So the scriptures go on to say that said man (i.e. Hitler) will be created "not by the hand of God but by the hand of men". Which means Hitler will be a clone. This clone of Hitler will be the one who will trigger the final clash between Heaven and Hell and the followers thereof. This Hitler clone will have all the powers that Jesus had in the Bible and people will fall to worship him. Unfortunately, those people will eventually be Hell-bait. The catch is that if you don't, you'll get persecuted and probably killed if you say this psuedo-Hitler is a farce. Point is, if they engineer those bananas, then there will be further movement toward the acceptance of genetic engineering in people, perhaps. So, in short, we've gotta let the bananas go. Unless we want Hitler to drop in and cause, oh say, the apocalypse. Any thoughts on all this?

*typed statement of coming of the end is not necessarily my beliefs*

I'm willing to risk the apocalypse as long as I get my 'nanners.

What people tend to foget is that "scriptures", and ALL writings for that matter were written by HUMANS, not God. I take no faith from another person's stories. When a man says he imparts his knowledge directly from God of an impending final battle, we put him in a nice padded cell where he belongs. Back then, eveyone was an idiot and would follow any charismattic nut-case who talks to burning weeds.

We still have people who follow nuts to this day, but most people know better now.

Yeah, that's the problem with people dictating what God says. They tend to put their spin on what He says...I thought the whole theory of the first human clone being our end was kind of neat, but a bit unbelievable.

Apocalypse better come in a soft mint/chocolate flavour.

Well, it's well known that George Bush used Hitler's genetic material to create his son Dubya; a most fitting presidential prototype that is capable of lasting many years and of causing great misery and havoc among the meek and the weak.

Edit: Uh oh, this is post #1666...

Uh, genetic engineering is already pretty common afaik.

Bananas rules. Especially dancing ones.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

________________
Myk said:

Edit: Uh oh, this is post #1666...
________________

Oh, this is great. It's all coming to pass like I said it would.

Finally! I was really pissed off when they found out that that asteroid won't hit the Earth after all. At least something will happen now.

...in the scriptures it states that there will be seven rulers that will be used by satan to destroy the Jews.

What scriptures would that be? I couldn`t find that passage in my bible...

This Hitler clone will have all the powers that Jesus had in the Bible and people will fall to worship him.

This could refer to the Anti-Christ, who is mentioned in the bible. According to (interpretations of) the work of Nostradamus there will be 3 Anti-Christs. We already had 2: Napoleon and Hitler. The third will be the last and is the one described in the bible. He will be greater than the former two.
The bible states the Anti-Christ will pretend to be the Messiah and will deny Jesus Christ. Therefore it makes sense that he will be 'jewish'. I will spare you the anti-semitism which follows from these passages...
It would make no sense to assume a clone of Hitler would be the third Anti-Christ since it is common knowledge he, well... didn`t like jews.

BTW: calculations made from the work of Nostradamus indicate the Anti-Chist has already been born and will reveal himself during our generation... perhaps he already has.
He will pretend to work in the name of God and gain much support. There will be a battle between him and the resurrected Christ (maybe Jeses will be cloned?!?) and time will end.

*typed statement of coming of the Anti-Christ is not necessarily my beliefs*

myk said:

Well, it's well known that George Bush used Hitler's genetic material to create his son Dubya; a most fitting presidential prototype that is capable of lasting many years and of causing great misery and havoc among the meek and the weak.

w0rd dude, so w0rd up.

If any of this prophetic bullshivix is true, I believe its Bush.

yes, bush became a president by men.

Yes, while the phrase 'created "not by the hand of God but by the hand of men"' could suggest a clone, it could just as easily refer to an elected leader, as in many countries with a monarch, they are said/used to be said to be chosen by God.

Incidentally, several minor religions (there's at least one in South America for example) believe the world will end around 2015...

2015! That`s impossible since the alien gods knowns as Elohims are coming to Earth bringing peace and harmony for all in the year 2025!
By then we (earthlings) will have reached the same technological level as these aliens had when they created us. DUH!!!!

*typed statement of Raelianism is not necessarily my beliefs*

ROFL, they really think we'll be capable of interstellar travel (as these aliens must have been) in 23 years time?

EDIT: oops, I meant 22 :)

NiGHTMARE said:

ROFL, they really think we'll be capable of interstellar travel (as these aliens must have been) in 23 years time?

yeah, but the trains will still be late

Szymanski said:

yeah, but the trains will still be late

And the toilets still won't work.

It's true, 2003 and they haven't perfected the toilet yet. Every single person on this forum at one point has flushed it and watched the water slowly rise up the side.

I never find a plunger either, all I find is that white brush. What use is that? IF A MARCHING BAND BURSTS THROUGH MY DOOR, I CAN LEAD THEM WITH IT! Wheeeeeeeeeeee!

To the first post

What Bible does the dude read? LOL

The Bible does not mention Germany, let alone mad dog Hitler. My most used question to Christians: What will happen to the US? The Bible never mentions America or Australia at any stretch of the imagination. So if America is not mentioned should the Jews go to America? Also if you read Ezekiel you'll have to contradict Revelation; 'cause there Israel will be the World Power.

Btw I used to be a Christian, am no longer. I've seen the light, and it ain't Christ. Praise the Lord Helleluiah

To m0l0t0v

Napoleon was anti Christian? How come? What did he do?

Ditto for Hitler. He wrote: "I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator: by defending myself against the Jew, I am fighting for the work of the Lord.."

________________________
m0l0t0v said:
This could refer to the Anti-Christ...
________________________

Thanks for clarifying on that, I forgot to mention that. But yes it was indeed referring to the anti-christ. As for the scriptures he reads, it some of the odd, vague stuff that is found in books other than standard Bibles, I assume. You know, through theological research and the like. Also, someone mentioned it was believed hitler in particular, and this was because said materials/scriptures all but stated his name...it was implied by time, by description, etc. It was all kind of unnerving, really. But I honestly have forgotten some of the specifics.

To Phoenix:

The Bible said:[/b]
1 John 2:22-23
Who is a liar but he that denieth that Jesus is the Christ? He is Antichrist, that denieth the Father and the Son. Whosoever denieth the Son, the same hath not the Father: (but) he that acknowledgeth the Son hath the Father also.
...
2 John 1:7
Many deceivers, who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh, have gone out into the world. Any such person is the deceiver and the antichrist.

This is believed to refer only to the third Anti-Christ described by Nostradamus. The first two might have had other plans, but just like the third they pretended to act in the name of God, while in reality they were working for Satan.

*typed statement of the occult is not necessarily my beliefs*

Lüt said:

I never find a plunger either, all I find is that white brush. What use is that? IF A MARCHING BAND BURSTS THROUGH MY DOOR, I CAN LEAD THEM WITH IT! Wheeeeeeeeeeee!

the antichrist's plan revealed

*stupid comment between asterisks is not necessary to make you look dumb, but it sure helps*

The Bible said:
1 John 2:22-23
Who is a liar but he that denieth that Jesus is the Christ? He is Antichrist, that denieth the Father and the Son. Whosoever denieth the Son, the same hath not the Father: (but) he that acknowledgeth the Son hath the Father also.
...
2 John 1:7
Many deceivers, who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh, have gone out into the world. Any such person is the deceiver and the antichrist.

It looks to me like this is just playa' hatin' on any opponents of Christianity. And back when these were written, the Christian sect had a lot of opponents.

Anyway, due respect to Mike's priest friend, but apocalyptics are full of it. If they truley believe that the world will end in their lifetime, why don't they give up all their worldly wealth (preferably signing it over to me) and really live the way they think Christ did?

Oh, BTW, the world is due to end 24 December 2011. That's when the Mayan calendar ends.

That is going to be the most dismal Christmas shopping year ever. No refunds the day after either...

Ichor said:

That is going to be the most dismal Christmas shopping year ever. No refunds the day after either...

No matter, we'll all be dead the day after anyways :)

m0l0t0v said:

He will pretend to work in the name of God and gain much support. There will be a battle between him and the resurrected Christ (maybe Jeses will be cloned?!?) and time will end.

Hmm, Jesus and the anti-christ duking it out matrix style. That would definetely be something to watch. I guess it all comes down to who has the ability to fire lasers from their eyes.

You know, in all this talk about the war between heaven and hell, not much is mentioned about what the humans can do IIRC. Who says we cant take 'em both on?

FirebrandX said:

What people tend to foget is that "scriptures", and ALL writings for that matter were written by HUMANS, not God. I take no faith from another person's stories. When a man says he imparts his knowledge directly from God of an impending final battle, we put him in a nice padded cell where he belongs. Back then, eveyone was an idiot and would follow any charismattic nut-case who talks to burning weeds.

What if God was illiterate?

According to Revelation chapters 16 through 19, humans will be involved...and the outcome is not the least bit pleasant. Let's just say that you do not want to be a part of that war. Otherwise, you might end up as bird food.

Ichor said:

According to Revelation chapters 16 through 19, humans will be involved...and the outcome is not the least bit pleasant. Let's just say that you do not want to be a part of that war. Otherwise, you might end up as bird food.

Heh, what you'll wind up as if you're in the War to End All Wars will be something not suitable for birds...heh heh.
Ah, the Tribulation is going to be one Hell of a time. No pun intended.