Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
Tracer

Share a random fact about yourself

Recommended Posts

Partly by me being too sensitive, partly by bad experiences with women (got shamed by them in high school, then got horrible relationships marked by ghosting in college), I have lost most of my desire for intimacy with women.

Share this post


Link to post
1 hour ago, Antkibo said:

Partly by me being too sensitive, partly by bad experiences with women (got shamed by them in high school, then got horrible relationships marked by ghosting in college), I have lost most of my desire for intimacy with women.

Just keep working on yourself and learning/experiencing new things.  One day your opinion may change or something will come up, just don't spend time dwelling on it in the current now. 

 

Sex/intimacy isn't the end-all-be-all of happiness, only another form of it.

Edited by STILES

Share this post


Link to post
On 9/1/2020 at 10:37 PM, Dragonfly said:

I'm not keen on social networks as a general user, but as a promotional tool it's second to none - A reminder that you don't have to consume everyone else's crap, just post your own content. It's no different to posting your development process on a forum or blog.

it's still slightly different. ;-) first, you have to register in Yet Another Place (and they want your phone number; what if i have none? and i really have none!). second, most of those "social networks" are unusable without javascript (DW is barely usable in this way too; sigh). and third, people will still expect you to reply there. will try to use that channel for bug reports and such. and those thingies are very very bad for that.

 

p.s.: and i accidentally disclosed yet another thing about me (but i think i already told that somewhere): i don't have mobile phone number. i have N900, but i'm not using it as a phone.

Share this post


Link to post

Sure. But all you're doing is restricting your potential audience because of personal preference. Having a functional phone with a working sim costs $10 at best, but you could probably get away with entering a fake number anyways (just accept that if your account was to be compromised they'll likely use this as the acocunt recovery method, heh). Also sure, people will expect responses, but how much effort is it really to check it? A couple of times a week would barely cost you 5 minutes. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

As for sites working without JS, yeah, I get you, but  the average user of the internet isn't a tech-savvy hipster who would disable JS as was more common in say, 1999. The common applications for wanting to block JS (such as wanting to prevent Cookies being made, stop advertising popups and the likes) all have alternative, more user-friendly solutions which maintain a website's functionality.

Share this post


Link to post

I'll admit, I've got quite a few random facts. I feel I should only post one but it feels good to let it all out.

 

I have Aspergers. Thanks to this, I get anxious in big crowds and my social abilities are rather...lacking, which I feel have gotten worse in recent times thanks to my depression and having to isolate myself during COVID. But I try to keep going in life by playing video games (such as Doom obviously) and writing short stories, most of them nothing but fast-paced, mindless action. By now I self-published two short story collections :)

 

I'm kind of a Doom fanatic. I love it just as much as Deadpool. My first Doom game was Doom 3. But thanks to having the Limited Edition, I was able to play the original games, admittedly a LOT MORE than 3 itself. I didn't really get into Wolfenstein and Quake until much later in life, but man, were they worth playing. Those three games are why I like fast-paced shooters. Sometimes you just need a pick-up-and-play game.

 

My celebrity crushes are Brianna Hildebrand, Miley Cyrus, and Ruby Rose. Don't know why I'm admitting that but eh, what the hell.

 

And this is my first post ever :) 

 

Share this post


Link to post

I haven’t posted an emo rant on the internet in maybe a decade, but today I found out my ex just got married. A year ago and a day exactly she cut ties because we had been hanging out as friends in an “off” period and I kept pushing away because I didn’t know what I wanted. She wanted us to get back together and focus on a future and end the on and off stuff, to finally grow up. We had been on and off for 4 or 5 years. I thought the last year would just be another off, and in fact I know in my head I spent it mostly imagining scenarios we’d get back together. I was focused on other stuff though and never reached out and frankly I still don’t know what I want so I can’t sit here whining when the ball was in my court anyway from the start of the last leg of the whole thing. It just feels like a year slipped away. I was improving myself too (focused on side project I’m happy with and then prepping for interviews for a career boost which succeeded) so I should be happy and I am, I’m lucky, but still. I always thought we’d end up together and 6 months of corona had made me reevaluate priorities. The career success feels hollow with everyone just being in a box until corona is over and now with this about my ex. I prioritized so much other stuff marching right into this pandemic nightmare and the payoff feels empty.

 

Hearing it today from her was punch in the gut. I didn’t even know she was serious with anyone, I wouldn’t have been surprised, but it was within the last year it moved from point A to marriage. It just feels like time is slipping away and I always put things on ice and imagine they’ll be there when I get back but they never are. And imagine things I’d do or say in my head but then I never do them. I would fantasize “if I get this job I’ll travel and I’ll have all my friends over including her and we’ll all hang out again” but a lot of friends are leaving town, others just engaged, others with kids now. And how can I really meet new people? In our short conversation today it was all positive stuff, I said I was happy for her and she said I was her best friend for the years we were together and it’s true, I felt the same. And I already have a year of getting over her under my belt but it feels like I’ve made little progress.

 

There’s not much else to say about it but I realize I’m hitting that point where I realize I’m not sure what I want and I feel that pit of your stomach anxiety. I’m very lucky because I’m a programmer and it’s been my hobby as long as I can remember but deep down I feel like I drift through life and it’s just luck that my hobby can be a lucrative job, but that tricks people and even myself into thinking I’m succeeding when I just feel kind of meh. Like I’m a functional slacker almost. I can work hard but I’m not the type A kind of person other career-oriented jobs have a lot of and I can just get lost in thoughts, or a project or really anything and the days tick by as I focus.

 

I haven’t felt this bad about a breakup I think and it’s not even a breakup as much a year later realizing I’m not even really over it. Every other ex I felt relief a little and in the long run I felt a lot of relief. And also all the stuff younger me learned about breakups seems irrelevant and boring now. I’ve gone to the gym and I know how to meet women. But it’s fall in a pandemic and everything is just getting more depressing to think about, it feels like I let time slip away, meeting women casually is no longer appealing, I have no idea how to ever get back to emotional seriousness with someone, especially now in this new world of isolation, and just the old playbook for breakups isn’t relevant. This isn’t a breakup it’s a continued look at my own regrets, I have enough experience to not worry about settling down and yet I do worry. I already try and use exercise to feel better. I think maybe next is mental health, because almost everyone I know including her thought I should see someone for depression and they are all probably right. Also I think I’m not mindful enough of the present, I’m always lost in past dwelling or future imagining, and then I feel like I’m losing track of time, like years just merge together until various things force my time-perspective to recalibrate and acknowledge things aren’t how they were, it’s 1,2,3,4,5 years later and I’m still imagining things like they were. And I have experiences in those years too, but I guess I’m coasting just enough to feel that time dilation.

Share this post


Link to post

I have been suffering from chronic fatigue issues since 2014 to which I had to quit my job in the spring of 2015. I have been trying to get doctors to take me seriously ever since.

 

One culprit, I believe, is chronic mercury poisoning due to a large silver amalgam filling that I had placed in 2004. These fillings contain about 50 percent mercury which is the most toxic non radioactive metal on planet earth. Even lead was once radioactive. I have been slowly preparing myself emotionally and financially to get the filling removed. Removal is still not covered by insurance in the states.

 

Another culprit, I have been slowly healing my gut from a bacterial infestation of H. Pylori. Since 2007 I have had really bad stomach problems and again doctors never took me seriously. Mastic Gum sure helped kill it off better than the antibiotics but I still have a long way to go after being symptomatic for over a decade.

 

Final culprit, I have chronic pain that again the doctors don't take seriously. I have hypermobile joints which means that my joints are unstable. I have to wait 2 years to see a geneticist to see if I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome or Marfan's.

 

Moral of the story is doctors here suck and they would rather send you home with a mental health diagnosis and a bottle of pills instead of listen to your physical needs. Protect your heath and educate yourself because if you don't no one else will including the doctors. Once I find a doctor that takes me seriously I will surely give them a hug. Once this pandemic is over anyways.

Share this post


Link to post
1 hour ago, TenenteZashu said:

I'm the only one in my town that knows how to speak English

 

How so?

Share this post


Link to post

I only have one gas mask, the one I'm wearing in my avatar, doesn't actually have red glow. Maybe I might get another with separate lenses/goggles for eyes. Used this one twice in the spring when I went to the shop and pharmacy. Kinda difficult to talk with it on.

 

Me: "I want B-vitamin, where is it?"

Pharmacy worker: "D-vitamin?"

Me: "No, B-vitamin."

Pharmacy worker: "D-vitamin?

Me yelling: "B-vitamin!"

Pharmacy worker: "Oh, B-vitamin, here it is."

Share this post


Link to post

I felt relatively fine until i turned 30 years old in November, then my anxiety worsened to the point i was worried i could get a heart attack or stroke anytime, but thankfully that's over now.

Share this post


Link to post

I managed to get a headshot on cs 1.6 when I was 2 years old, when my dad came back from the bathroom he was shocked since he was playing with his friends on cs_assault I think? ever since that happened my dad would always make fun of that guy for dying to a 2 year old

Share this post


Link to post

This could be flippant or it could be deep, and i can't choose, so i state one of each, and its rather easy to guess which is which.

 

a) i do not partake in the social sphere, ever.  if anyone thinks i do, they are mistaken.  and i reckon some are.

 

b) i feel and think better when having either red wine, gin, vodka, whisky, or beer, or all of them.

Share this post


Link to post

I had a few experiences with the supernatural. Here's one that I remember:

 

When I was around grade school age, I was just playing some Minecraft on my PS3 when suddenly, I heard a big thud and ran to see what it was. It was a big water gallon, Mom also came downstairs to see what's going on and asked what happened. I told her that it fell on its own, she didn't believed me. She speculated that a big rat pushed it off the table, I didn't believe her and had doubts.

 

First of all, it was full so it was very heavy, I doubt a rat can push it off the table and even if it did, it would take a while. This goes to my second point, why would a rat even a push a heavy water gallon off? At that point, it would think of something else and just wander off somewhere else. Even though I don't have any evidence for it, I believed it was a ghost because why would it even happen in the first place. It was on a flat surface and there was no one else in the first floor but me.

 

Here's what the water gallon looked like by the way:

Quote

b0f4f411fbdc77619c0655b42b0c5ac3.jpg

 

Share this post


Link to post
5 hours ago, BrassKnight said:

I had a few experiences with the supernatural. Here's one that I remember:

 

When I was around grade school age, I was just playing some Minecraft on my PS3 when suddenly, I heard a big thud and ran to see what it was. It was a big water gallon, Mom also came downstairs to see what's going on and asked what happened. I told her that it fell on its own, she didn't believed me. She speculated that a big rat pushed it off the table, I didn't believe her and had doubts.

 

First of all, it was full so it was very heavy, I doubt a rat can push it off the table and even if it did, it would take a while. This goes to my second point, why would a rat even a push a heavy water gallon off? At that point, it would think of something else and just wander off somewhere else. Even though I don't have any evidence for it, I believed it was a ghost because why would it even happen in the first place. It was on a flat surface and there was no one else in the first floor but me.

 

Here's what the water gallon looked like by the way:

 

i had some experiences with the supernatural as well. there was this guy called Dustin Head that got murdered next door, and his ghost came to our house [well im pretty sure it was him]

i had an evp out and i heard him straining to say "K...k....kiilleed!"

it was freaky.

 

Share this post


Link to post

I was in a car wreck recently, caused by a teen speeding and rear-ending me while I was at a stop light, causing me to bump into another car. Both drivers' insurances are trying to fuck me over and apparently I now have a crack running through one of my disks and am essentially unemployable due to back pain. It's turning into an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. I'm secretly very amused by it even though it's utterly infuriating. 

Share this post


Link to post

I once had this weird dream of me in a convenience store with a bunch of lobsters who were talking like Italian mafia members and wielded Tommy guns. After a bit of time, members of the Chinese Triad lined up outside the store and began firing. The lobsters retaliated and fought back while I ran outside and somehow dodge all the bullets flying. After that, I ended up in a mall but for some reason, the perspective was messy and everything looked isometric and the place looked like graphics similar to the early Fallout games (Fallout 1 and 2).

 

The dream ended when I walked into a gym. I guess this kind of predicted the future? Because after a few weeks, my mom signed me to a gym (with my consent by the way). I haven't been to the gym itself though.

Share this post


Link to post

I think Breen and the Universal Union in HL2 are actually doing the best thing for mankind and are actually the good guys since they pretty much saved those few remaning humans from the effects of the Resonance Cascade.

Share this post


Link to post

My grandparents were racist Wiccan treasure hunters that burned down their house 3 times to fraudulently collect insurance

Share this post


Link to post
5 hours ago, TenenteZashu said:

I think Breen and the Universal Union in HL2 are actually doing the best thing for mankind and are actually the good guys since they pretty much saved those few remaning humans from the effects of the Resonance Cascade.

 

At the same time, there was also nothing else that could be done. It was either Breen surrendering Earth, or total annihilation.

 

And it came with a price, specifically enslavement, but since the Resistance was able to to thwart their oppressors, it may have been the better solution.

 

They are still the "bad guys" as Combine sent citizens to Nova Prospekt to be turned into soldiers and Stalkers regularly, not to mention how they drain Earth's resources constantly, abused the citizens via raids, and placed substances in their water to make them lose their memory. Only Civil Protection is more of a double-edged sword, as those are humans who typically joined the Combine for better living conditions.

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×