Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
AndrewB

Telemarketers Cite 1st Amendment, Sue

Recommended Posts

Just because they have the freedom of speech doesn't mean we don't have the freedom to not listen.

Share this post


Link to post

How to beat telemarketers:

As soon as you identify that a live telemarketer is talking at you, butt in and tell them that you need to take care of something really quickly. Ask them if they'll wait for you to get back. When they agree, leave the phone off the hook and go about your life. Eventually they'll get the idea and hang up.

Why do this? The half-dozen households who won't be called at the end of the day will thank you. The guy on the other end of the line who is being paid for doing nothing and can only check his e-mail and surf FARK when somebody is on his line will thank you. And you can go with the satisfaction of screwing over a large corporation in your own little way.

Share this post


Link to post

But then you realized you were waiting for an important call to come in while the line was tied up...

I've looked into the "Do not call" lists and have found that the telemarketing companies will use loopholes and stupid technicallities for putting you back on their lists to call again. We were getting about 10 of these calls a day even after signing up for various do not call lists. The solution was to change numbers to a private line and only give it out to trusted friends and family members.

Share this post


Link to post

"Hello?"
"Yes i'm calling on behalf of *insert company here* and I just wanna ask you a few questions."
"Well, before you do, can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah, sure I guess so."
"Would you like it if I called you at your home in your time?"
"No."
"Well, do me a favour and get yourself fired so I can be at peace."

*click*

Share this post


Link to post

Or..

"Hello?"
"Yes i'm calling on behalf of *insert company here* and I just wanna.."
"FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!"

..click..

Share this post


Link to post

"Hello?"
"Yes i'm calling on behalf of *insert company here* and I just wanna ask you a few questions."
"One more time faggot, and I'll slice you into little pieces, and feed them to your wife. If your a lucky bastards and arent married, I'll just make you choke on your severed toe. Either that or you can eat your dick."
*SLAM*

Heh, always keeps them away. >:)

Share this post


Link to post

This happened to me recently.


Telemarketer "Hello, I'm calling from whatever-it-was to tell you that you are entitled to £1000 pounds worth of kitchen equipemnt"

Me "And I suppose all I have to do is come up with the other £4000?"

Telemarketer "(hangs up)"


Silly thing is, I was in the market for a new kitchen!


A friend of mine worked as a telemarketer a few summers back. He was selling health and fitness plans. At some point during the pitch, he and his collegues had to say "Isn't that great?". He, of course, realised how crap that sounded, but he also said you can't believe the number of people who reply "no", thinking it's funny, and that they are the first person to think of the reply.

Share this post


Link to post

Hmm, one of America's many problems.

Well, hears my thought on it:

Yes you have the freedom to be here and speak, (damned Mexicans jumping the border and crap, because of them I have to take Spanish. Shouldn't they have to learn OUR language for jumping into OUR country???) but if you dont like the way we run things (speaking of the common american who picks up the phone to a teletubbymarkerter, and me hanging up the phone on them), then you can take another nice american right, the right to leave. 'Nuff said.

Share this post


Link to post

"Hello, this is <company's name goes here>"
"Hi there!!!!"
"I'm fine-"
"Just EXCELLENT!!! Now what are you calling about?"
"I was calling to see if you need any vinyl siding installed on your home-"
"NOPE, never better on THAT score, thank you sir!"
*click*

Works every time :)

Share this post


Link to post

Gosh, I guess it is just to bad if their right to free speech dosen't carry as much weight as my right to privacy.

We have a do not call list in Colorado and I am on it. Pitty the guy that calls me to try and sell something. I am not in the least bit nice once I get their name and company. They can be fined for the infraction once I am done reaming them out.

Share this post


Link to post

The best way to deal with them is to describe the Doom community in such painful, ubernerd detail that they end up taking their own life...

Share this post


Link to post
pritch said:

The best way to deal with them is to describe the Doom community in such painful, ubernerd detail that they end up taking their own life...

Hey, that might work for Jehova's too.

Share this post


Link to post

TM: "Hi, we want to install vinyl siding on your home!
Dad: Cool! Come right over, I've have the whole building given new siding!
TM: Very good, sir. Tell me, how large is your house?
Dad: (starts describing apartment complex)
TM: !?!?

Based on a true story!

Share this post


Link to post

Anyone who sells stuff over the phone is just as bad as those people who go around selling their religion door-to-door.

Anyway...I keep getting these fucking dambass calls. I'll be home in the middle of the day when no fucking working person would ever be at home, and these people call and start suveying me. Then they get to about the tenth or so question and ask something like 'are you over 21?', 'are you the owner of the house?', 'are you married?', or 'are you the primary money maker of your household?'. Of course, I have to answer 'no' to all of these and their reply is "Oh...okay... *click*". You'd think they'd ask me this BEFORE asking how many times per month I purchase a home entertainment system! >_<

Share this post


Link to post

if they phone, just pretend that you are a hob whom recieves no phone calls. act excited that they phoned you and start talking to them as if you knew them.

Share this post


Link to post

Telemarketer: "Some sales-pitch."

Me: "Barney is my father. I WUV YOO!"

Telemarketer: *SCREAM* *CRIES* *CLICK*

It actually did work too. 0_o

Share this post


Link to post

sales person "hello are u interested in a carpet replacement and cleaning service?"

Me 'I am glad you guys called. can you guys clean up blood? its all over the floor and i got a little on the wal."

them "click"

Share this post


Link to post

A few months back someone from the local paper called for my mother about a subscription, I told him she flew to mars. The guy on the other end mustv' blown a gasket.. "SIR, YEAH, SIR.. I THINK YOU NEED TAKE YOUR MEDICATION SIR, YES SIR YOU MUST HAVE GONE INSANE AGAIN" ..and hung up.

Share this post


Link to post

Earlier today, right before dinner, I got another call that was a survey. This time, they actualy asked the elimination question first: "Do you listen to at least an hour of radio every day" "No". So that was over quickly, but literaly as soon as I put down the phone (my had was still on it) it rung again and this time it was ITT calling me for the 223857th time. I DON'T WANT TO GO TO YOUR SCHOOL YOU BASTARDS, OKAY? COMPUTERS SUCK! TECHNOLOGY SUCKS!

Yeah anyway...

Share this post


Link to post
Disorder said:

Hey, that might work for Jehova's too.


Jehovas piss me off, best thing to do it get a buddy to lie on the ground as if they were shot, outline around their body with thick chalk, put some religious phamplets scattered around and fake blood around the head or chest area after your friend moves, so it looks like a murder scene to scare them off

Share this post


Link to post

A relative of mine once saw Jehova's Witnesses coming, so he quickly went into action.

When they rang the doorbell, he opened the door and greeted them completely naked. He then continued to invite them in and say how glad he was to see them. And then, well, you know the rest.

Share this post


Link to post

LOL Andrew..

There is a Jehova building not too far from my home, I should pull some tricks on them, heheh, got any ideas?

Share this post


Link to post

Jehova witnesses show up at my door. I immediately greet them by saying:

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know anybody died today."

Works every time. >:)

Share this post


Link to post
IMJack said:

How to beat telemarketers:

I've already used this trick twice today, and it keeps working! I don't know why they keep falling for it.

Share this post


Link to post

My favourite thing to do with telemarkers is to try to sell THEM something. It's even better if you include a veiled threat of some kind.

TM: "Hello, we were wondering whether you'd perhaps be interested in having double glazing installed in your home?"

me: "As I already have double glazing... No. But perhaps you might be interested in a new life insurance policy. It could be very useful in the near future"

TM: "Errr... *click*"

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×