Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
Chris

marine

Recommended Posts

Once thousands of monsters had graced these floors, but as I sheathed both shotgun and BFG, I came to the startling realisation that the architects of these hallowed walls in which I stood had constructed and designed the room in such myriad detail, that the demon beasts merely shambled alone and confused, isolated in some deep wrenching loneliness. I stumbled forward, movements steeped in treacle, reactions slowed as I jolted from side to side, miserable in this strange and unfamiliar reality, distracted by vertical, sharp and curving protrusions, and metal bulkheads viciously echoing my every stuttering step.

I shambled toward a beast, nervously observing my shadow as it stalked up and down the opposite wall, movements in rhythmic beat to a lighted sconce, beam flailing in a twisted inconceivable display of perpetual motion. Grabbing my pistol, I leapt toward the creature, hovering briefly in mid-air as it turned toward me. The following seconds seemed accelerated as I fired shot after shot into its gaping maw, blood gushing from every wound. Strangely they seemed o find no stronger purchase, and it became evident that unblemished, mottled skin lay just beneath the glittering shower of gore. Terrified, I turned and ran, the brief moments of my spin asserting themselves upon my vision as three immobile glances of the corridor: testament to the heights of my fear, as adrenaline wept about my breast. I shattered into a wall, as reactions, dulled by the cascade bombarding my senses, threw me into the form of a juttering, unpredictable human automaton, replete with flailing limbs and ineffectual movements.

My HUD flickered, growling in protestation, and I suddenly came to the blinding conclusion that my recent weapons and services download had not been supported by its parent company, and that I had doomed myself to the alpha, but not the omega. I collapsed into a heap as three bolts of fire crashed lazily into the small of my back; my vision thrown to the floor, to gaze for eternity at a line of perfectly produced buttons, striking in their similarity. The beast roused itself by my demise, and crept toward me, eyes gazing down in a calculating, mathematical cruelty, my last thought before heaven noting a strange geometry to its form, claws peculiarly comprised of millions of jagged triangles. Terror turned to blessed darkness, and all was silent...

Share this post


Link to post

More like lowered the Limbo bar to a few inches off the ground.

Share this post


Link to post

Chris is my housemate. You are correct Andrew, it is indeed a parody, but not of that masterpiece.

Share this post


Link to post
Scuba Steve said:

I think Imp Encounter has raised the bar, and forever changed people's opinions of what a DooM FanFic should be.

I think that Imp Encounter is the perfect example of what NOT to do if your audience are serious fan fic readers.

It is, however, a perfect example of what to do if you want to get a bunch of Shrinks to analyze you half to death...

...or what to do if your audience is a bunch of people who could use a damn good Shrink.

As for this story, it's ok but too damn short. You gotta write longer stories (or add additional parts to this thread) if you expect me to link to your stories in the index thread.

Share this post


Link to post

Heya, I'm at Uni with Jon, and have seen him browsing this forum a lot last year. Was amused by the imp sex story, so thought I'd write one of my own. Only spent about 20 minutes on it, as I kind of managed to miss the doom craze when I was playing games, and any interest has been generated by Jon playing all of the varying games rather than working :).

The story is a parody, and it's related to Doom, but the only other post that I've read on this website was the imp rape, so it's definitely not a parody of anything else here. It's so short because a) it's my first post, b) it takes the piss and makes enough references that any more might make the post too blatant, and c) that I'm really busy with work, and I don't have very much time available.

Anyway, Jon thought most of the references to its source were pretty funny (though I think he was smashed at the time).

Chris

Share this post


Link to post
Chris said:

It's so short because a) it's my first post, b) it takes the piss and makes enough references that any more might make the post too blatant, and c) that I'm really busy with work, and I don't have very much time available.

Fair enough - I didn't mean to say your story was shit, because it wasn't. I thought it was an ok story, but it was just a bit too short.

My suggestion, in case you plan to make more stories, is to work on it bit-by-bit (like I do).

Work on your story in a writing program (a la Word - or even Notepad).

Write a couple of lines, leave it until another day when you feel like writing the story, then work on it again. Repeat until you're satisfied with your work, then post the whole story or, if you've written a really long, multi-chapter story, post it chapter by chapter.

Share this post


Link to post

dsm you dork. This story was awful, it was meant to be awful. "I shattered into a wall, as reactions, dulled by the cascade bombarding my senses, threw me into the form of a juttering, unpredictable human automaton"? Come on, that's ten-dollar-word writing of the worst sort. If you honestly think this is a "ok story" then you have no literary sense at all.

Share this post


Link to post
Linguica said:

dsm you dork. This story was awful, it was meant to be awful. "I shattered into a wall, as reactions, dulled by the cascade bombarding my senses, threw me into the form of a juttering, unpredictable human automaton"? Come on, that's ten-dollar-word writing of the worst sort. If you honestly think this is a "ok story" then you have no literary sense at all.

I smell sarcasm.

Share this post


Link to post

Some of the words were used wrong, but the general implications are left intact. Good idea, good imagery, bad wording.

Share this post


Link to post
Kirby X said:

OR SHOULD I CALL YOU GOO_BARREL SINCE YOUR IP'S MATCH?!

That's not yours to play with.

Share this post


Link to post
Linguica said:

dsm you dork. This story was awful, it was meant to be awful. "I shattered into a wall, as reactions, dulled by the cascade bombarding my senses, threw me into the form of a juttering, unpredictable human automaton"? Come on, that's ten-dollar-word writing of the worst sort. If you honestly think this is a "ok story" then you have no literary sense at all.


Hey. I've chosen this style of writing because it's a reflection of the thing that I'm parodying, ie something that is heavy on imagery, and doesn't have much else. That's why there isn't much story, or plot to the post.

Anyway, it's a parody of Doom3, with a couple of references to Quake3 and UT (opinion resting with UT as the better game :/)

Share this post


Link to post
Chris said:

Hey. I've chosen this style of writing because it's a reflection of the thing that I'm parodying

Are you parodying Max Payne?

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×