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DooMBoy

Computer Horrors

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I'll now tell you of a horrific computer story which happened to me around 2 or 3 months after I got my comp back in '99. It sounds unreal, but yes, this really did happen to me.

Anyway, it was just two or three months after I had got my comp, and I decided one early morning to boot up the computer. It loaded up fine, and I decided (since I had Thief: The Dark Project on it at the time) to play Thief. At any rate, after everything loaded up, I went to Start->Thief: The Dark Project, and loaded it up. Immediately the game crashed, even though I had the CD in the CD drive. WTF, I thought. I didn't know what had happened, but it was only the beginning of the nightmare. I thought maybe a reboot would help so I moved the mouse cursor down to start, and then click on Shut Down. About this time the carnival of horrors started. I heard this weird beep-beep-beeping noise coming from the control tower of the computer at about this point. WTF!, I said aloud. I manually rebooted, sat through the You did not shut Windows down correct, you fail it, see and twiddle your thumbs while Windows checks your C:\ Drive for errors thing. I got to the desktop. Almost immediately, before anything was loaded up, my mouse started doing the beep-beep-beep thing whenever I moved my mouse cursor around. About this time I got desparate. I decided to call Gateway (curse them!) Tech Support and after waiting 10 minutes for a tech dude that spoke incoherent English I said fuck it and hung up. Suddenly a BSOD (Blue Screen of Death) popped up and my computer crashed. I gave up in despair and shut the computer down and turned on the TV and sat there wondering what the hell had happened.
Later on that day, with my older brother there to assess the situation, we decided to it was time to reformat. So we did.
To this day, I still have no earthly clue as to why my comp crashed like it did. Keep in mind I had just the bare essentials installed on my comp at the time, and I had Thief installed (but not Doom at the time.) Also I hadn't any internet access. Makes you go o_O wtf, doesn't it?
Oh, and later on that day I discovered my HD was none other than Western Digital.

So, tell us if you've got any similar computer terrors to report.

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Yea once I went on a porno page this was back in 2000 when I just got my p3650 and i was like fuck yea this is sweet, anyway then I got this virus automaticaly of the page lol this thing poped up 2 seconds later after I already Quarenteened it and it said deleting files on hard drive so I fuckin fliped out punched the computer and hit the power switch, waited a minute and turned it bak on. Shortly after this screen pops up with a bio hazard symbol saying you have just been infected then it went to a black screen.
I was like fuck you stupid whore then i saw this ..... on the bottom the screen then it said "Ha got ya dident I dumbass' then my computer started up again and everything was fine.

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Heh, i've had my computer for almost two years. I have yet to defragment it. Also, i have yet do any windows updates. My computer has yet to crash. 0h gn0, i made a post.

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I too have a horrific comp story which happened to me around 2 or 3 months after I got my comp back in '99. It sounds unreal, but yes, this really did happen to me.

Anyway, it was just two or three months after I had got my comp in exchange for experimental lobotomy surgery down at the hospital, and I decided one early morning to boot up the computer. It took me a while, but then I remembered to plug it in. It loaded up fine, and I decided (since I had Thief: The Dark Project on it at the time) to play Thief. Because I was like, whoah, I can play thief. Because I own it. Because playing Command and Conquer might be a bit difficult. Because I don't own it. At any rate, after everything loaded up, I went to Start->Thief: The Dark Project, and loaded it up. Immediately the game crashed, even though I had the CD in the CD drive. Because I was like shit, the CD is in the CD drive. And it crashed. CD's in the CD drive are like photon crash shields. You can't crash a program if you own the CD. Maybe if I was playing Command and Conquer it would of crashed, because I didn't have the CD. Because you can't play the game if you don't own it. Makes sense. WTF, I thought. I didn't know what had happened, but it was only the beginning of the nightmare. I thought maybe a reboot would help so I moved the mouse cursor down to start, and then click on Shut Down. About this time the carnival of horrors started. I heard this weird beep-beep-beeping noise coming from the control tower of the computer at about this point. WTF!, I said aloud. Because Mummy doesn't let me swear, I have to use acronyms instead. Like SMFCM means "Suck My Fat Cock Mummy". I use that one a lot. Anyway, I manually rebooted, because my computer isn't an automatic rebooting computer. It needs me to tell it to do stuff. Manually. I sat through the You did not shut Windows down correct, you fail it, see and twiddle your thumbs while Windows checks your C:\ Drive for errors thing. I got to the desktop. Almost immediately, before anything was loaded up, my mouse started doing the beep-beep-beep thing whenever I moved my mouse cursor around. About this time I got desparate. I decided to call somone with half a brain (curse them!) t and after waiting 10 minutes for a retard bus that spoke incoherent English I said "I am a complete and utter spastic mongoloid who should be banned from computers and non-plastic knives. Suddenly a Giant Space Alien Fistula (Giant Alien Fisyula, from space) popped up and my oringial asshole collapsed. I played with my new ass for a while before shutting the computer down and turned on the TV and sat there wondering what the hell had happened.
Later on that day, with my older brother there to assess the situation, we decided to it was time for a quick fuck. So we did.
To this day, I still have no earthly clue as to why my anus prolapsed like it did. Keep in mind I had just the bare essentials installed on my comp at the time, and I had AOL Instant Ass installed (but not Doom at the time.) Also I hadn't shit for nearly three weeks.. Makes you go o_O wtf, doesn't it?
Oh, and later on that day I discovered my ass was the emperor of the carpet people and my ginger pubes had set off the fire alarm.

After that I gave up paragraphs.

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Tyockell said:

Welcome to the doomworld forums skippy.


skippy's been around a lot longer than you have bud

and doomboy that sounds like a day in the life of windows 98 to me. a bsod, gasp, like i haven't seen enough of those

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i think programs should have to ask your permission before becoming a startup item (read: programs that show up in the startup list in msconfig). i noticed that half the time, shit that loads in there doesnt even finish loading and then becomes non-responsive, takes up like 100+ megs of ram, and is the causer of 90% of computer problems. i have 2 things checked in there, and all the computer illiterate people i know have like tons of shit in there, and complain when their computer fucks up and crashes and shit.

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Liam the Bard said:

skippy's been around a lot longer than you have bud

Coulda fooled me :P the post count get screwed up or somethin or just get a new account?

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Heh, just see what happens when your motherboard alarm goes off, if you have one. I was opening deepsea and all the sudden my computer turns off and my motherboard is going beeeeep beeeeep beeeep. Eventhough the computer is off, i unplugged it and finally it stopped beeping. I turned my computer back on half and hour later and it was doing just fine.

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fixed a woman's system last night. the SOB had so much spyware it was lame. everything from gator, spyster, to gay stuff like bonzi buddy and real player

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Gosh, I remember this one time, somebody had knocked the joystick to my computer on the floor, and my little brother came running through the house, and tripped over the joystick cord, sending the computer flying to floor. Luckily, all that happened was that the hard drive got fried, and I had a few fun days using a combination of a boot disk and a RAM drive to play Quake, which I suppose also qualifies as the weirdest way I've ever used a computer. Of course, it did get annoying after a while having to reinstall Quake every time I turned off the computer, and that Quake was the only game I could really play, but it sure beat nothing at all.

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geekmarine said:

all that happened was that the hard drive got fried

Oh, well as long as that's ALL that happened. Shit, I'd die... lose all my music, archives, notes/ideas/other stuff...

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Ultraviolet said:

Oh, well as long as that's ALL that happened. Shit, I'd die... lose all my music, archives, notes/ideas/other stuff...


Just use a backup and youll have everything back.

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Assuming I've got the money to buy a decent backup system or enough CDR's, yeah, everything will be fine!

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I've never had a hardware related problem (except XP compatability of course), but Windows itself has caused me aggro on many many occasions.

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The computer I'm posting this from has about 2 megabytes worth of bad clusters on the hard disk. There is also a bad cluster in the boottracks it seems, and the drive can't be repaired (Yet the computer still boots! Amazing eh?). I have everything backed up and I'm waiting for it to die.

Two weeks and counting.

The deathwatch continues....

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The relationship between the number of computers you look after and the frequency and enormity of shit going bad is parabolic.

Just this morning, I had one boot disc error, two network switches that went bad, six machines manhandled by idiot users, and I can't find the goddamn punch tool so I can fix the phone lines!

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Some time ago, there was a desktop wallpaper program called Webshots installed on here. Knowing how much of a disk space hog it was I decided it was time to uninstall it, so my brother opened the uninstaller for Webshots. A few minutes later, he comes into the room where I was and asks why Webshots was taking so long to uninstall. I walk in and notice this window that read "MicroFlight Pro" and below the logo was a progress bar that was only about 1/8 completed and wasn't increasing. After I decided to reboot we got these alarming errors complaining about nearly everything required to complete the booting process being nonexistant. Finally after something like Himem.sys not found. Unable to start Windows showed up at the bottom of the endless row of errors I grabbed the system restoration cd-rom that I remember came with the computer.

As of right now, I'm waiting for the power supply box to start glowing a red color. I hoping I get it replaced sometime tomorrow.

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