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Jenblaze

i was just wondering.....

how much time do you think you need to find if you love someone  

32 members have voted

  1. 1. how much time do you think you need to find if you love someone

    • days
      5
    • weeks
      8
    • months
      6
    • indefinite
      13


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ok i know this thread might go to hell but i figured since we have other threads close to this matter why not make another one... ok i was wondering how long all of you thinks it takes to fall in love or love a person.. and how do u think u realize this. I am a female and i know how i feel but i would like some guys opinions on the matter, as well as the other females on this forum

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Seconds. It's like you feel the flow. Pretty hard to explain. The real question is: how long does it take to realize you're in love? Sometimes couples break just to realize they are in love afterwards.
Life is silly I guess.

Did I tell you how beautiful you are? ;)

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I haven't gone out with anyone ever, so I have no basis, but I think it would vary. For me, I don't think that i could time something like that, it would just have to happen.

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yea i know that much but do you think you call love someone after like a week or something if the conversations were interesting enough... or do u think that loving someone happens gradually... or does it just hit you one day that you love that person

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I think that you yourself can know. If you question wether you're in love with them then you probably are, because otherwise you wouldn't question it or ask about it :)

But I suppose that's not really exactly the question at hand. Yes, I think you can fall in love with someone in a short amount of time. I'm in love with someone currently who I've only talked to for about a week now, but we have so much in common that I don't care. True love is rare to find. If you got a good feeling about it, I'd say that its possible. Soemtimes you may just need to let things work themself out and see where it ends up, hehe. Blah, I'm just rambling on now, I'll stop.

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It's taking me forever, I need to hang out and go out more often.

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Well, I would have to find out myself how it would happen, but lets not ask for miracles. Anyway, I think it may be either, for some people they hear a certain thing from them and it just clicks, others it just happens over time.

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Jenblaze said:
yea i know that much but do you think you call love someone after like a week or something if the conversations were interesting enough... or do u think that loving someone happens gradually... or does it just hit you one day that you love that person


Well, let the old punk I am share his experience. As I see it:

1) it all begins with passion, ie an extremely powerfull, entertaining and addictive emulation both intellectually and sexually.

2) Gradually, as the relationship extends in time, you know the person better and better. You estimate the pros and cons of the other and, hopefully, understand what you like and why you have to deal with what you dislike (Human beings are generally quite consistant so no quality comes without a flaw). This is what I call the 'respect' phase.
3) After the 'respect' phase, there is nearly no way you can look at the person the same as you saw it in the beginning. That's the tough part. Generally, sexual attraction begins to drop and you get more focussed on flaws than on qualities... like you would with an old friend.

Now how these steps are timed out is really dependant on the individuals. I personally reach the end of phase 3 after 2 years or relationships (already 4 examples, including my now ex-gf). Other people manage to have phase 2 during until their death. I haven't met any couple that didn't reach at least phase 2.

The key point is that during all the phases, you do love the person. It may not be the exact same feeling, but it's still love.

One more point: when my grand-dad died some months ago, I had an interesting discussion with my grand-mother. Basically she admitted they both cheated during their 50 year long marriage. She said the problem with nowadays couples was that they didn't accept failure from the other. Something I quite agree with. Forgiveness is the key in order to stay in phase 2 and never ever enter phase 3... or at least to be able to stay at the frontier between phase 2 & 3.

I hope I made my statements clear enough. It's nearly 8am here and I didn't sleep tonight nor the night before :P

FYI, I'm 28.

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Having no experience, I'm going to wing it:
As long as it takes you to figure out you'd like to be their friend as much as their lover. I mean, friends like to hang out and do things together. For example, I might fall in love with a girl who likes to play video games and mountain hike, simply because we could enjoy the time we spend together, which would be a lot. I dunno, maybe I'm just full of shit.

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I'd say minutes. That's my experience anyway.

But maybe seconds to suspect, and days to admit it to yourself. Depends.

[BTW, I see no reason why a thread like this should be considered hell-worthy. Quite a good idea for a thread in fact, IMO.]

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I would say days or weeks even though I don't have a lot of experience in the matter.

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Likely varies from person to person but there's no way you can really know a person in minutes even if you do love them.

Sometimes you don't want to admit being in love with someone and that complicates things.

I hate trying to classify it into stages or types though. Too messy and imprecise. Those phases seem pretty good, although I wouldn't follow them like a bible or anything.

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I don't know. I don't know if I've ever felt that kind of love. I have love for my friends, maybe some closer love for a few of them, and love for my family, but not any love-love, you know? I've had several crushes, but they never went further than that really. I think it was more obsession than love though, I dunno. I think I should just stay friends with everyone nowadays, because otherwise it only ends in disaster.

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The last time I 'fell in love' the girl ended up going crazy (not the good kind either). I think a lot of times people convince themselves that they're in love when they're really not. In fact, I sometimes wonder if love is just a manifestation of the mind.

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Fredrik said:

picture
Easy.


That's a very male perspective of love.

Anyway, I'd say about 5 months or so before I knew I loved someone. To be "in love" can happen much quicker.

And I agree with you DW - I think love is a term thrown around a little too loosely these days.

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It depends. I've loved Britta for months. But I've only fallen into a deep love after 10 months or so. I luff her!11

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Ralphis said:

It depends. I've loved Britta for months. But I've only fallen into a deep love after 10 months or so. I luff her!11

And that my fellow doomers, is how Ralphis finally grew pubes.

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Id answer this in a logical way but im to lazy so ill just say from days to weeks.

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Depends. Sometimes it takes seconds and sometimes it can take months before you start to feel that way. On average I'd say a couple of weeks.

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Seems like it depends on age too, young folks fall in love at the drop of a hat ( or pants ). :) Me personally, I'm extremely wary of love. I've gotten burned real good a few times now and it takes me a long time to let anyone in. Not that I don't like women, I just don't trust you. At all. :p

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deathz0r said:

And that my fellow doomers, is how Ralphis finally grew pubes.

I always figured that the hairy fairy would visit everyone's favourate dommer eventually.

Congratulations on your first pube ralph. May you be long and bushy.

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Couple weeks to start falling in. Then you can't get out.. and people throw you ladders and ropes... and you burn them... ;)

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I'd say it depends on the girl, and whether or not said girl actually likes me back in return :)

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I agree (completely) with Rellik.

With the advent of the internet and chatrooms etc we are all going to have to rethink on all that romance stuff. Folk are falling in love all over the globe who have never even met each other. I dont trust those internet feelings at all, I see it as falling in love with a thought that looks, sounds and types like that person but you can never know for sure if you even like a person until you meet them and get to know them, not just their good side but all their bad qualities too. That takes months, sometimes (with folk who cover their tracks well thus hiding their dark side better) it can take years. Once you know the person inside out, warts and all, and you still have that urge to spend your life with them, thats when you know you love them.

If you think you would love that person no matter what their dark side is, like if they murder kittens for fun or if they are a child killer or something then you are not in love, you are mad and obsessed.

It can happen in the blink of an eye but you wont know if its real for quite some time.

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