Psych Me Up

There's gonna be some kind of a gangwar in Keswick soon, I'm not a violent guy but I have to fight; I guess the 'bigger man walks away' only works with one on ones but if you walk away from your friends you're an asshole.
I haven't had a fight in six years, can anyone give me some advice on how to get psyched up?

Janderson said:

I haven't had a fight in six years, can anyone give me some advice on how to get psyched up?

Listen to heavy metal music just ahead of the fight.

Your enemies are nazis.

What the Hell?

Hmm, you didn't seem stupid before...

Convince your friends to just not be there.

If your friends are the kind of types that provoke a fight, then I think it's time for you to have a change of friends.

If your friends are innocent bystanders who got entangled in a mess that has led to this "gangwar thing", then fair enough.

Btw, your enemies are fags who rape little kids and eat cute rabbit pups for breakfeast ;-P

Er, please tell me it doesn't involve weapons.

Maybe you could show up, and let everyone know that you're not there for fight, just to, you know, help pick up the guys who get hurt when all is said and done. Then again, and I don't really know anything about the animosites between the two gangs, because I don't deal with that sorta thing.

I've been to three huge fights, involving about 40-50 people. All of them got bloody because some prick decided to get clips or baseball bats. One of them my good friend's head got busted open.

I guess the best way to psyche yourself up (purely subjective) is to expect something bad is about to happen to one of your friends or even you. That way you would do anything possible to beat the shit out of the rival gang. My last fight worked out like that, my friends went crazy...

They deserve what they are getting for the following acts(there are more, these are just the acts which breed the flames);

Act 1: First three turn up and try to take out one of our most popular kids, who kicked the crap out of one of them. Then the others overpowered him.
Result: The jocks are pissed off.

Act 2: Seven turn up and insult one of my friends then beat the hell out of two others.
Result: The goths are pissed off.

Act 3: Drove off before Adrian could get there.
Result: Pissed Adrian off!(This is a big deal btw)

Overall Result: Keswick is pissed off, as are other parts of Cumbria too.

Basically these guys are trying to terrorize our little town they come back every weekend bringing more each time. They think they have made a name for themselves but they're just pissing us off.
Is this fair? Do they deserve an ass-kicking?

Thanks for the tips, btw. >:->

?!

Just remember your stab proof and bullet proof vest.
Oh and make sure yer got the police on speed dial, just in case.

eye of the tiger

"Gangs of Keswick"

I'd give Ali G a call to get some help form the Staines Massive if I were you.

ravage said:

"Gangs of Keswick"

I'll start writing a script right away.

Surely this can't be the warm friendly Lake District that the Cumbrian tourist board tells the world about?

Home of Beatrix Potter, Kendal mint cake, Stan Laurel, Water speed record attempts, Grasmere Gingerbread, Rheged centre, Wordsworth, steam boats, cars of the stars, vintage railways, animal parks, lake cruises, the Cumberland Pencil museum, 50,000,000 Japanese tourists...

...and gang wars?

What is the world coming to?

I say get all hopped up on PCP first. That oughta show 'em.

Tobester's Guide to Beating The Living Shit out of People you Don't Know:

Vodka: You're never wrong after about 40 ounces hits your bloodstream. Buy a glass bottle, so afterwards you can use it as a stabby tool!

Music: What Liam said, get that Rocky theme music going. And Linkin Park. You can't have an angry brawl without angst.

Movies: Rocky 2, Fight Club, Mortal Kombat, all pwn.

Inspiration: Think of the person who has pissed you off the most in your entire life, be it your dad, matt lauer, or the dick who invented peer pressure. Then concentrate on how cool it would be to stab them to death with a spork. A rusty spork. A PLASTIC rusty spork.

One last tip: Don't eat or drink (except said vodka) 12 hours before the fight. Make sure to spend ample time in the bathroom before the event. Drop all baggage overboard. If you really suck at fighting, at least you won't be able to shit or piss yourself and look like a lil bitch.

Over-emotionality will only dull your motor control, as would alcohol. PCP, however, could be helpful.

Find a BFG or rocket launcher first, then head into the fight.

Whenever I need to get psyched up for something, I just start talking shit to them. Even if they aren't there, I just start arguments in my head with them. Try listening to some gabberhouse/hardcore before the match, or some death metal or some other form of violent music. Heck, try Snake River Conspiracy's "Vulcan". Go listen to some Zeromancer, anything. Just remember, you're the best there is and you'll kill everyone there, but not before beating them to a bloody pulp first.

Ever seen the sign "Gone Feral"?

dsm said:

Btw, your enemies are fags who rape little kids and eat cute rabbit pups for breakfeast ;-P

My kind of guys

Anyway reguarding the post. Go upstairs, take your shirt off and look into a mirror. Just pretend you're throwing punches and talk shit and I guarantee you'll feel ready. Emulate this feeling during the fight. Good luck and don't lose any teeth

Get an excuse note from your mom saying you have a cold.

Enjay said:

Surely this can't be the warm friendly Lake District that the Cumbrian tourist board tells the world about?

Home of Beatrix Potter, Kendal mint cake, Stan Laurel, Water speed record attempts, Grasmere Gingerbread, Rheged centre, Wordsworth, steam boats, cars of the stars, vintage railways, animal parks, lake cruises, the Cumberland Pencil museum, 50,000,000 Japanese tourists...

...and gang wars?

What is the world coming to?

Notice that none of these things are in Maryport. We think they either come from Maryport or Liverpool.
Btw, NOTHING beats grasmere gingerbread, and I live across the river from the pencil museum. I HATE the pencil museum! They work for the pencil museum!

EDIT: Bastards!
Damn, I spent all that time getting psyched up and they aren't coming until next Friday.

Equal parts frozen orange juice and gasoline. Don't forget your gas mask and body armor: the felony enhancement for weapons is offset by your physical safety.

Eh, maybe they got scared off. Anyway, you might wanna wear a disguise, so you won't get busted by cops or somesuch . . .

gangs are stupid, gang wars are yet more retarded

Gangs are for pansies who can't fight alone or fend for themselves IMO.

I fight alone

Mr. Chris said:

I fight alone

You get beat up alone.

FIGHT FOR ME MY PRETTIES...