there's a body on my gravel

My stepdad went to the pub at around 12 in the afternoon, eleven hours later there is a body lying outside my window on the gravel. I'm putting two and two together here, and I assume the two are connected.

Now, I really can't be fucked with the drunken arse slathering all over me. So what do I do?

Other: make a poll at DW about it while he freezes to death and chokes on his own piss.

I'd say haul him in and give him a cosy blanket and some cocoa, but I voted for piss on his corpse from your window in the end.

serves him right in my humble opinion.

Leave him there, period, for thirty minutes to see if he makes his own way in. Then go outside, check his pulse and phone the police. While you're waiting for the police, piss on him from your window, but not before stealing his wallet. Then drag him inside and tell the police he was already covered in piss when you found him.

Go out and give him a kick in the ribs, THEN check his pulse, and if he's alright then just leave him. Wait, no, if he's alright call the cops.

I voted for steal his wallet.

well, it's all academic now. The body has vanished.

Take teh wallet :D

piss on him, then hit him a few time with a bat (assuming you hate him). then call the cops saying you found a dead body

darknation said:

well, it's all academic now. The body has vanished.

...into your basement?

I'd just make sure he dosent die then take his wallet and piss on him then call the police.

All’s well that ends well. Frank “Leech” Webster was last seen staggering up the stairs to the toilet, where he is now perched on the pan like a malignant tumour and will doubtless be there for the night.

Huzzah.

Make sure hes lying on his front so he doesnt choke on his own vomit.

I never pass an offer for free money.

you gotta steal the wallet.

Hahaha. Look how honest we can be. :P

Next time (assuming there is a 'next time'), piss on his face, steal his wallet and take a shit in his hat, if he has one.

#7, then #4.

Heh, seems that stealing his wallet is an excellent idea.

Disorder said:

Heh, seems that stealing his wallet is an excellent idea.

Except that everyone who voted #7 would be fighting over his wallet.

None of the Above.

Cover his eyes with duct tape.













Then steal his wallet.

Take his lunch monies.

It's about time you moved out mate.

I haven't regretted it and I even like my parents.

Lord FlatHead said:

#7, then #4.

Winnar! I would do those two also..

Wallets are always fun, cash or not.

Yup, you can tell a lot about a person by their wallet.

You are not the contents of your wallet.


Anyway, this is a topic you'd only ever see DN start. :P

Steal the wallet, tie him up, piss on him then bury him. If he is alive.
If he's dead you don't have to tie him up.

Alternatively, you could cut him up and sell the organs and eat the rest, you know, for a bit of culture.

Piss on that corpse...