DooMBoy Posted October 8, 2001 Doom was at home one day, playing VENGNCE.WAD using Ultimate Doom. He looked at the way every single level was a big maze. "They just didn't get that part right," he thought. The Phobos Base was NOT a maze. He remembered it all, and it wasn't a maze. He turned off his comp. He angrily grabbed his shotgun, loaded in a few shells, hopped in his car, and headed over to id Software. He took his shotgun along for the ride as well. Once at id's parking lot, he stopped the car, got out, and cocked his shotgun. "I am once more a man on a mission," he thought. "Time to stop making Doom games that have maze-like levels, 'cause it wasn't like that." He angrily walked to the front door of the legendary company's office. He kicked the glass door as hard as he could, sending glass showering into the waiting room beyond the door. He stepped through the glassless door. The id secretary was there. "Hi, how may I help you?" she asked kindly. "Can you tell me where John Romero is hiding?", asked Doom. "I believe he's hard at work at the new Doom game," she replied. He noticed an elevator nearby. "What floor?" he said. "Oh, try the very last one," id Secretary Person said. He rode the elevator all the way to the top. He got off. He entered into a area that had a sign saying, "Warning. Do not disturb. Geniuses at work." Geniuses...HA!, thought he. He kicked this door down, and ran inside. John Romero was there. He turned and saw to his horror that the nightmare had come true. Doom was an actual person out to get him. Doom fired a shot at Romero, who was seriously wounded in his left shoulder. "AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!," he screamed. "This is for all the Doom levels out there that are maze-like! I hate'em!!!! And what's more, you made Doom that way on purpose, just to spite me, didn't!!!!!" Romero whimpered, "No, honestly, I didn't....it was Carmack's fault!!!" "Bullsh**!!!!," roared the DoomGuy in absolute fury. He cocked the shotgun again. He leveled the gun at his head. He pulled the trigger and -BOOM- no more Romero. Doom, his mission accomplished stealthily sneaked out of the building. Apparently the Secretary Person had figured what he was doing with that Shotgun. He finally made it to his car, and got in, and drove off as fast as possible. "Mission accomplished," he thought. 0 Share this post Link to post
Xenoman Posted October 8, 2001 Stupidity cannot be concealed. "Give it a rest" 0 Share this post Link to post
Katgut Posted October 8, 2001 Stupidity cannot be concealed. "Give it a rest"* Katgut gives Xenoman his binky 0 Share this post Link to post
Naked Snake Posted October 8, 2001 Stupidity cannot be concealed. "Give it a rest"* Katgut gives Xenoman his binky Heh. I liked this story acually. 0 Share this post Link to post
Kid Airbag Posted October 8, 2001 WTF does Vengeance have to do with anything? It wasn't a maze. 0 Share this post Link to post
danarchist Posted October 9, 2001 Doom was at home one day, playing VENGNCE.WAD using Ultimate Doom. He looked at the way every single level was a big maze. "They just didn't get that part right," he thought. The Phobos Base was NOT a maze. He remembered it all, and it wasn't a maze. He turned off his comp. He angrily grabbed his shotgun, loaded in a few shells, hopped in his car, and headed over to id Software. He took his shotgun along for the ride as well. Once at id's parking lot, he stopped the car, got out, and cocked his shotgun. "I am once more a man on a mission," he thought. "Time to stop making Doom games that have maze-like levels, 'cause it wasn't like that." He angrily walked to the front door of the legendary company's office. He kicked the glass door as hard as he could, sending glass showering into the waiting room beyond the door. He stepped through the glassless door. The id secretary was there. "Hi, how may I help you?" she asked kindly. "Can you tell me where John Romero is hiding?", asked Doom. And the secretary replied, "You idiot, John Romero hasn't worked here for years." And with that she smacked Doom around until he woke up under a dumpster being peed on by John Carmack...THE END 0 Share this post Link to post
Xenoman Posted October 9, 2001 * Katgut gives Xenoman his binky /me gives Katgut his little toy and puts it in his mouth 0 Share this post Link to post
Xenoman Posted October 9, 2001 What the hell is a binky? He likes to use at others too. I'll bet he knows who mr. Blinky is. 0 Share this post Link to post
Naked Snake Posted October 9, 2001 Doom was at home one day, playing VENGNCE.WAD using Ultimate Doom. He looked at the way every single level was a big maze. "They just didn't get that part right," he thought. The Phobos Base was NOT a maze. He remembered it all, and it wasn't a maze. He turned off his comp. He angrily grabbed his shotgun, loaded in a few shells, hopped in his car, and headed over to id Software. He took his shotgun along for the ride as well. Once at id's parking lot, he stopped the car, got out, and cocked his shotgun. "I am once more a man on a mission," he thought. "Time to stop making Doom games that have maze-like levels, 'cause it wasn't like that." He angrily walked to the front door of the legendary company's office. He kicked the glass door as hard as he could, sending glass showering into the waiting room beyond the door. He stepped through the glassless door. The id secretary was there. "Hi, how may I help you?" she asked kindly. "Can you tell me where John Romero is hiding?", asked Doom. And the secretary replied, "You idiot, John Romero hasn't worked here for years." And with that she smacked Doom around until he woke up under a dumpster being peed on by John Carmack...THE END Good ending. I was thinking the same thing. "Wtf! Romero doesnt work for ID. Damn, DooMBoy doesnt know his ID stuff!". 0 Share this post Link to post
Liam Posted October 10, 2001 Now that you've butchered everything that is comedy and literature, I think I will beat you repeadetly over the head with my favorite book, "Moby Dick". Die. 0 Share this post Link to post