News of the Weird

Some great gems here.
This one's a favourite :

Ronnie Darnell Bell, 30, was arrested in Dallas in 1998 and charged with attempting, all alone, to rob the Federal Reserve Bank. (In the movie "Die Hard With a Vengeance," knocking off the New York Federal Reserve Bank required a small army of men and truckloads of weapons.) According to police, Bell was initially confused because there were no tellers, so he handed a security guard his note, reading, "This is a bank robbery of the Dallas Federal Reserve Bank, of Dallas, Texas, give me all the money. Thank you, Ronnie Darnell Bell." The guard pushed a silent alarm while an oblivious Bell chatted amiably, revealing to the guard that only minutes earlier he had tried to rob a nearby Postal Service office but that "they threw me out." [Dallas Morning News, 2-27-98]

Heh, it's going to take alot more effort to get that money.

Reminds me of a video i saw once, when some guy tried to rob a 7-11 and left his gun on the counter when he went to get something.

Hahaha what a retard

Heh, what a schlub

there was a great story in private eye a few yeas back about a stoner guy who tried to hold up a pharmacy. He got busted by the cops, got sent to jail for a few years and came out with a vendetta against the pharmacy guy. So he spray paints the shop, gets caught in the act and gets sent to jail again. He gets released and decides to ram raid the pharmacy as revenge. Needless to say, Supervillian gets caught hotwiring the car and gets sent to jail. Again.

After he got released the third time he buys a car, gets completely stoned and fills the car with explosives. He tears down the hill towards the pharmacy on a suicide bomb attack. Alas, he runs a red light at a T-junction out-side the fucking chemist, gets involved in a side-on collision and blows himself and the other poor bastard to kingdom come.

The pharmacy was untouched by the blast. Which kinda proves what I've been saying for fucking years. God Hates Retards.

God Hates Retards.

Then why did he make so many of them?

I'm more surpised that he did not get away with it. There are just too many stoopid people out there.

m0l0t0v said:

Then why did he make so many of them?

Cheap entertainment.

Stupid criminals rock. They never cease to amaze me.

I've heard stories of people phoning the cops because their neighbors stole their weed. Oopsie.

m0l0t0v said:
Then why did he make so many of them?

he needs followers.

darknation said:

(anecdote)

That's so funny and ironic that it sounds like it comes from your story.

Here's another great one.

Only-in-California Rage: Ms. Cathomas Starbird, a member of the Sausalito, Calif., school board, was sentenced to 15 days in jail in 1999 for assaulting a female friend who had joined her and her husband to celebrate the husband's birthday. At the couple's houseboat after dinner, Ms. Starbird became furious at her friend, jumped on her, and bit her on the face because she had refused to engage in oral sex with the husband. [Associated Press, 4-8-99]

That selfish bitch got what was coming to her :D

Spike said:

Here's another great one.

Only-in-California Rage: Ms. Cathomas Starbird, a member of the Sausalito, Calif., school board, was sentenced to 15 days in jail in 1999 for assaulting a female friend who had joined her and her husband to celebrate the husband's birthday. At the couple's houseboat after dinner, Ms. Starbird became furious at her friend, jumped on her, and bit her on the face because she had refused to engage in oral sex with the husband. [Associated Press, 4-8-99]

That selfish bitch got what was coming to her :D

I’m kind of surprised that she isn't a teacher. (That’s an inside joke for people who’ve suffered through California’s educational system)

stupid people do stupid things. like a kid who dropped out of my highschool
he held up a gas station in the down town dayton area, with a screw driver, and got shot and killed by the clerk. even more commical is firends at schoolw anted a memmorial. they got their dreams shot down by 3 simple facts, he dropped out, was a criminal and got killed commiting a crime

Sephiroth said:

stupid people do stupid things. like a kid who dropped out of my highschool
he held up a gas station in the down town dayton area, with a screw driver, and got shot and killed by the clerk. even more commical is firends at schoolw anted a memmorial. they got their dreams shot down by 3 simple facts, he dropped out, was a criminal and got killed commiting a crime

Geez, what a gaggle of retards.

*sniff* anyone else smell that... i smell dumbass, he got what he had coming to him

There is this one as well, some guy gave an alibi when the police supected him of robbing a bank, the alibi? he was in another state buying Heroine at the time of the robbery. He gave them the receipt for the hotel he was staying in and when the police searched his room, guess what they found? 84 packets of heroine, lol