dn's rpg thing

other tables I'm working on include the usual armour, items, potions, as well as the mentioned 'Amusing Diseases' table, and an idea I had wherethe character gains insanity points much like EXP and levels up on a table of mental diseases. So if you've got ideas for stuff like that, then I' all ears.

Some ideas:

Womancatcher - Similar to a mancatcher in appearace, it appears as a claw like appaatus on the end of a pole. Ths is mainly used by lonely nerds who couldn't get a woman any other way.

Blade of Dead Detection - Similar to a Blade of Undead Detection, but it can only detect entities whose life forces have expired. Very popular with necromancers...or is that necrophiliacs?

Spiked Codpiece - Similar ineffect to armor spikes, this piece allows users a free attack during a grapple check. Or it bestows a +4 Charisma bonus when having sex with a masochist.

Helm of Opposite 'Alignment' - When this cursed item is worn, the wearer suddenly completely flips their sexual orientation. Haha, fag!

Sword of Ixitxachitl Slaying - A sword forged to combat the mighty Ixitxachitl monsters. To use it, the wielder simply has to yell "I smite thee, vile Ixitxachitl!" and any hit will slay the beast instantly.

Imperial-Class Dreadnaught - Oh whoops, wrong genre.

Frozen Blade - This blade is made from a metal which was chilled to near absolute zero. Then the wizard casts a spell to prevent the blade from becoming brittle and shattering, and keep it at a constant <5°K. Anything the blade touches has a one in six chance of freezing. The sword also has a rather nasty habit of chilling the air around it as well, and the longer it remains unsheathed, the colder the air and the wider the area of effect becomes. Therefore he and everyone travelling with him must wear protective clothing as well or take a test against the characters toughness. A critical failure means 3D6 of cold damage, where a normal failure means 1D6 of cold damage. Eventually, the air will become too cold for even their clothes to protect them, and after 12 turns, they must take a test against toughness with the damages being halfed.

In battle, this blade has the potential to do some serious damage. In addition to the usual damage, it does 1D6 of cold damage and has a one in six chance of freezing the target so that the next hit from a weapon will cause it to shatter. If no other weapon hits, the creature probably will fall apart anyway. A critical miss will cause 1D6 of cold damage to the wielder, and possibly turn him into a popsicle in a rather amusing pose.

Dimension Blade - The wizard that crafted this thing must have been some kind of a nut. This weapon is not made from metal like the traditional sword, but from an unknown kind of stone, possibly from a meteor. It has been sharpened to a point no wider than a molecule. However, either because of some insane spell the wizard cast on it or the innate magical properties of the stone, who knows, the blade also has the ability to cut through space itself.

The blade ignores all armor, even magical. The only way it can be blocked is with another dimension blade. Unfortunately, only ten were ever made, and most of them were lost. If it hits, it has a one in four chance of slicing the creature in two, killing it instantly. The only exceptions are those creatures without a definite form (slimes, spirits, politicians, etc.).

The usefulness doesn't end there however. The wielder can use this blade once a day for every ten levels to cut a hole in space like it was a curtain, and step through to any place of his choosing. He must have high wisdom and a clear mind, lest he open a hole to the wrong location. Every time he uses the blade in this manner, he must take a test against his wisdom. If he fails, the hole opens up to a random location in the world. Generally not a good thing, since it could open a hole to a far away, possibly hostile land, or it could open a hole in the depths of an ocean with amusing results. A critical failure means that the hole opens to deep space, resulting in everything including the sword being sucked in until the hole closes on its own. Finally, it is highly advised that you don't attempt to open a hole during battle or while drunk unless you have an exceedingly high wisdom. In these cases, the test against wisdom incurs a rather hefty penalty.

the Sword of Ixitxachitl Slaying is in, and so are ichor's creations.

The Lightning War Hammer of Draeor Dün

Forged by the famed Dwarven smith, Draeor Dün, this artifact, like most others of its kind, was lost in the final decades of the subterranean wars between the mountain dwarves of Kun'dan and the hostile goblins residents of the deeper reaches. Dwarven glyphs adorn the shaft as well as the head of this weapon, describing it's ultimate purpose to destroy goblins, trolls and orcs. However, if this weapon is used upon humanoid enemies of any evil alignment, an additional 30% damage is to be added both to physical blows and use of its electric field spell. This hammer deals 2d6 damage on most blows, though upon a successful weapon finesse roll, an additional 1d4 damage may be added. As its name indicates, this hammer is capable of making a special lightning attack 4 times per day. When struck into the ground, and the appropriate words spoken, this hammer invokes the 5th level spell, electric field. The spell has a range of 12' and creates a field of lightning that deals 2d8 the first round, 1d8 + 1d4 the second round, 1d8 the third round, and 1d6 the fourth round. Moreover, while this spell is invoked, electrical bolts that result from the spell are capable of arcing from enemy to enemy effective within a 20' radius, doing reduced damage from enemy to enemy, from 3/4 total damage for the second enemy, to 2/3 total damage for the third enemy, to 1/2 damage for the fourth enemy and 1/3 damage to any fifth enemy. After this hammer has been used by the character for 4 levels of experience, the spell invoked by this weapon becomes major lightning field.

Don't forget the

Other ideas

Spam Javelin: A javelin made from the waste of useless emails, causes monsters to slow down severly

Pork Sword: A rudimentary sword made by farmhands from the bones of pigs

Meat Torpedo: A missile-like thing that works underwater. It is made from dead animals and includes a huge gut full of methane, which explodes

Bladder Adder: A deadly version of a worm, you vomit it up and it attacks the enemy. You need to be infected for it to work, and it weakens you overall

Chopper: A blade which can be hidden in your trousers

Impse Cannon: Causes visions of hot impsex to appear, which renders monsters insane

what ever happened to blackfish's doomworld rpgmaker2000 thing.

Goat said:

what ever happened to blackfish's doomworld rpgmaker2000 thing.

It died along with his computer.

omg that sucks. what a waste of time :|

Goat said:

what ever happened to blackfish's doomworld rpgmaker2000 thing.

It got formatted away after a hard drive crash way back in January. It was linear as hell anyway.

darknation said:

the Sword of Ixitxachitl Slaying is in, and so are ichor's creations.

Note that the Ixitxachitl is an actual D&D monster. It's some kind of evil vampiric manta ray. No one uses them though, because it's too hard to pronounce. "Up ahead, in the murky water, you see a large ray-like creature with red glowing eyes: the dreaded Iksit...err...Izkit...umm...Ixish? Uh...its an evil manta ray."

Ye Olde Arcane Whiskey of Smite - Brewed by the demented Dwarf, Smite The Shitfaced. Upon drinking this delightful drink of drinks, the drinker becomes incoherent resulting in -5 intelligence, and - 3 wisdom. The drinker also ends up a raving, unpleasant, screaming asshole, resulting in - 5 charisma.

The intoxicated prick fuck also has gains additional tolerance to pain and receives +4 constitution and +5 whiskey strength. The intoxicated individual must scream incoherent ranting upon attacking for the duration of intoxication.


Satanic Blade of Emo - Used only by Evil emo priests. The dark nature of the blade enables priests of the evil persuation to use it as opposed to a blunt object. The wielder becomes depressed, hateful, spiteful, and suicidal.

2 additional spells at any level may be memorized. An extra D-3 of additional damage is added per attack. After the dungeon session is completed, a test for depression must be taken. If failed, the character dies as a result of suicide.

The Really Big Stick:
An arcane weapon forged by the most powerful wizards, or a fallen tree branch? I wonder.

This big old piece of wood has a chance of shattering upon contact with armor, and it tends to miss a lot (finesse penalty or something). However, when it hits, it tends to put the hurt on the target paticuarly well.

The Knife of Swiss:
OK, really, THIS is the arcane weapon forged by scientists. A small piece of plastic at first glance, upon the pressing of a discrete button, a variety of sharp implements jut out, for a variety of uses.

Attacks with this ping off metal armor, but don't lose as much effectiveness as normal when stabbing into leather etc. armor.

It can also be used to remove stones from horses' hooves.