Bloody assault

On the outskirts of the city a huge battle raged, between the human forces and Hell's minions. There were no big monsters but the Earth fighters were under-armed for this type of firefight. Rockets and fireballs flew through the air, like a deadly 4th of July, as the two sides clashed in a hellish bloody battle. A soldier rushed forth, his M-16a1 spewing lead upon some Imps when he saw a Mancubus fireball heading towards him. Not knowing what to do, he jumped up, and the fireball exploded underneath him, sending him through the air, almost unharmed. Not missing the chance, he shot and killed the spawn that stood below him. He landed on the gravel and slid, the scraping of his armor against the pavement hurt his ears. He stood up and started firing, and fought bravely until his demis at the hands of a Spectre which had snuck up on him and bit his spine, his blood pouring to the ground, his final sacrifice before death. The remaining warriors hid behind whatever they could, tipped cars, rubble and other types of debris. The monsters, having no real train of thought stood where they could fire and fell swiftly for they had no cover. Sheer numbers were no match for tactical thinking as amount of beasts fell sharply, and the humans pressed forth, losing few, killing much...

A large building is where Hell was making its zombies, and Mike had been sent to destroy the labs, and gather intelligence. His .12 gauge sawed off double barrel shotgun was slung over his back, and his Glock 9mm handgun was in his hand. His other hand was clad in brass knuckles, which were once illegal but now there was no law, only action. The building was well lit and he could see clearly, which in this case was not really a good thing, for in the lobby of the office building was bodies, but not just laying on the ground, but spiked to the wall, set upon spikes and hanging from the high ceiling, and a few were still alive, moving and groaning from where they were. Mike paid no attention to this, these people were already dead to him, plus his orders never stated anything about survivors so he ignored them. He approached the elevator and pressed the button, then stood there in front of it, waiting. After a few minutes he heard a noise. "Hmm...theres the-" he said aloud but then soon realized that the sound was to fast, and to much grinding. "Oh damn!" He shouted, jumping away from the shaft of the elevator, just as it hit the main floor, busting through the wall and door, sending sharp metal around. He panted, stood up and said "Maybe I should take the stairs..."...

Look for the next installment soon.......

OK

It's a lot better than your previous stories--you've come a long way. I enjoyed the first paragraph; the battle was descriptive and I could almost visualize it. However, you need to proofread it; there are still a few spelling and grammar errors that got past you. You might try using more descriptive words too.

This whole post was just in case you wanted critique. It's better than most of your other efforts, but could use some touch-ups. Keep at it though, and I'm sure you'll write something to rival the best!

...and I'm sure you'll write something to rival the best!

Nothing can beat Liam and his DWJ posts...

...and I'm sure you'll write something to rival the best!

Nothing can beat Liam and his DWJ posts...

I'm going to start a chapter-by-chapter doom fanfic as soon as DWJ3 becomes reality.

/me orgasms

/me orgasms

/me gives you some moist towelettes.

/me orgasms

/me gives you some moist towelettes.

/me bans the usage of /me by BBG and Liam

/Me likes throwing bunnies at passers-by.