Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
Sign in to follow this  
læmænt

stuff

Recommended Posts

The room is dark, and it will remain dark. After all, it's easier to die in a dark room. Somehow it just seems more appropriate.


The doors are closed. They won't ever be able to open them - of course they could easily break the door, but you hope they won't have the brains. And in the end, you are not afraid of death. Not anymore.


But you are afraid of darkness.


In the broad daylight, they are not particularily frightening. Of course they are ugly, and alien, and they kill everyone in sight, like they almost did with you. But in the darkness, fear of them becomes irrationally strong. It becomes a physical force, that you can feel and almost touch; fear of creatures that are more than just flesh and blood. Fear of something bigger, and far more serious, than death.


Darkness is their kingdom.


Yet you won't turn the lights on. You fight your fear. It's almost masochism, almost a perversity, as you sit there in the corner, shivering, blood stain on your shirt. You won't turn the lights, even though fear blinds you, consumes you, transforms you into something that is no longer you; fear is a virus that breeds more fear.


Maybe it's because you are afraid of yourself more than of the demons.


You won't turn on the lights, even though you see demons in every shadow, every dark silhouette. Maybe you hope they won't notice you in the darkness. Maybe you are afraid to attract their attention. Maybe, just maybe.

What will happen to you?.. You'll probably die, marooned here, of wound or of hunger, or the demons will come from the darkness, swift alien shapes. You are doomed. There's nothing you can do, you are no longer in control of your fate, you no longer even have an illusion of being in control. You will die, Johnny. Johnny. What a name. What a name to die with. But it doesn't suit you anymore.


You will never be Johnny again.


As you sink into heavy, desperate sleep, no longer able to resist the fatigue, the outside world melting in your head, as the pain in your wound pulsates more quietly, seemingly moving further and further away, you come to a realization. You know what you will do tomorrow. You will do the impossible. You will leave the house, and you'll face the sun again, blind with fear; you'll scream, and you will let your your teeth rip human flesh, guided by fear only; you will hide yourself in your fear, and you'll be safe. Let others be afraid of you, even though never will their fear be as strong and sincere as your own. You will forget the wound, forget your own name; you will drown your fear in screams.


And then you'll get a gun.



Share this post


Link to post

On a scale from 1 to 10, this rates a "suck".

Speaking of which, if you provide some constructive criticism, I'd be very happy.

Share this post


Link to post

On a scale from 1 to 10, this rates a "suck".

Katgut should STFU.

Lament, while your story was unconventional (in that the word "gun" was mentioned only once, particularly in the context of its absence), it was very well written. Let's hear the continuing story of Johnny as he steps out the door.

Share this post


Link to post

Quit verbally beating on poor old Katgut! Though I do agree that a "suck" out of 10 was harsh...

Poetic and enchanting! Keep it going, Lament, though I did notice a few spelling errors here and there. Those are easily fixed, though, and I'm sure your next installment will be something to talk about!

Share this post


Link to post

Lament, while your story was unconventional (in that the word "gun" was mentioned only once, particularly in the context of its absence), it was very well written. Let's hear the continuing story of Johnny as he steps out the door.

Thanks... I definitely won't write a second part though, this is a complete story.

Share this post


Link to post

Poetic and enchanting! Keep it going, Lament, though I did notice a few spelling errors here and there. Those are easily fixed, though, and I'm sure your next installment will be something to talk about!

Thank you :) Can you point out the errors so I can correct them?

Share this post


Link to post

I'd tell you what errors I found, but I can't remember them and you've proofread and edited really well.
But then, I always say there are spelling/grammar errors, even when there aren't. Can't let anything seem perfect!

Yours is a stand-out story though, and though I'm not happy that you're leaving us hanging on that, I find solace in the fact that you'll write more (please?).

Share this post


Link to post

The only reason I said what I did is because, well, that wasn't much of a story. That was more of a "this is one of those sections of the story we stick on the first page of the book to get you to read the book".

Share this post


Link to post

Katgut should type his own story and then, stfu.

I *am* working on a story, which nobody seems to give a fuck about.

You and ReX should both STFU.

Share this post


Link to post

I thought this was a good story. Emotionally strong with good imagery. Reminds me of a Harlan Ellison story (I Have No Mouth But I Must Scream, "Repent Harlequin," Said The Ticktockman). Good job. Let's see some more.

Share this post


Link to post

I thought this was a good story. Emotionally strong with good imagery. Reminds me of a Harlan Ellison story (I Have No Mouth But I Must Scream, "Repent Harlequin," Said The Ticktockman). Good job. Let's see some more.


I like Harlan Ellison, though he's a bit disturbing. This was too short to be good, seriously. It was maybe long enough to be decent.

Share this post


Link to post

This was too short to be good, seriously. It was maybe long enough to be decent.

Hmmmm.....mmkay.

/me starts writing a 1000-page novel


The problem is, I don't like stories about a macho Space Marine, who clears the moonbases of alien presence with his trusty rocket launcher, rescues the naked chick, has sex with her (hints, only hints of course), defeats the evil boss (to make story really good, the most evil boss should be human and not demon! - remember that, all you aspiring writers out there...) and escapes. With a burst of flame, his spaceship rises above the destroyed port, and heads to the faraway Earth...
"I love you, Flynn" - whispers the chick in our hero's ear.
"I love you too, baby" - replies he, holding one hand on her huge breasts while steering the ship with the other.

I mean, fuck that shit. It sucks ass. And one of the problems with Doom is that that's about the only kind of plot you can have for your stories. The game just doesn't provide for anything more sophisticated.

Therefore, all I can do is try to write stuff with no plot. So, fnord.

Share this post


Link to post

This was too short to be good, seriously. It was maybe long enough to be decent.

Hmmmm.....mmkay.

/me starts writing a 1000-page novel


The problem is, I don't like stories about a macho Space Marine, who clears the moonbases of alien presence with his trusty rocket launcher, rescues the naked chick, has sex with her (hints, only hints of course), defeats the evil boss (to make story really good, the most evil boss should be human and not demon! - remember that, all you aspiring writers out there...) and escapes. With a burst of flame, his spaceship rises above the destroyed port, and heads to the faraway Earth...
"I love you, Flynn" - whispers the chick in our hero's ear.
"I love you too, baby" - replies he, holding one hand on her huge breasts while steering the ship with the other.

I mean, fuck that shit. It sucks ass. And one of the problems with Doom is that that's about the only kind of plot you can have for your stories. The game just doesn't provide for anything more sophisticated.

Therefore, all I can do is try to write stuff with no plot. So, fnord.


What, does it look like we're doing that with the Community Story?

I mean besides what BBG's written. :-)

It's Doom, all right, but it's not the Doom you remember. And we haven't gotten any sex scenes in there... which we probably won't.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this  
×