Market your own Video Game Console!

The Your Gaming Console's Name's new microprocessor will enable games to render nearly 50 times more 3D image data than Competing Console's Name, a serious leap over their much-vaunted console, which processes 3 million polygons with all effects in use. In fact, the Your Gaming Console's Name's chip is to have data-processing speed several times faster than that of Fastest personal computer to date, the latest in desktop computing.

Your Company claims that the Your Gaming Console's Name will be the gateway to a new world of digital entertainment with its combination of "breathtaking digital graphics, superb sound, and DVD-Video playback".

The Your Gaming Console's Name Will usher in a new era of scinematic quality graphics. Imagine playing games in your own home with the same quality and visual beauty that you see in the movies you watch with effects and animation rivaling that of Hollywood. The Your Gaming Console's Name will certainly be the hot commodity of 2005, and Your Company expects it to stomp the competiton.

Look for the Your Gaming Console's Name this Fall.


Now... just distribute this to all the regular gaming sites and news organizations. You can expect your fanbase to build to enormous levels within 6-8 weeks, and defend your positions vehemetly so you don't have to.

I always knew that My gaming console would be a grand playing-experience. :D Now I shall share it with the world! :D

There is a potential penis joke to be made here, but I have not the skill to from one.

Sure, all in good fun, but can the Your Gaming Console's Name make me a sandwich?

That's the best part about Your Gaming Console, it can do whatever hollow promises you say it can in press releases and interviews!

Will Your Gaming Console make the world a better place?

Your Gaming Console will unite the people of the world with it's unique, exclusive 128 player wireless broadband hi-speed internet connectivity.

Pff.

Just because Your Gaming Console can do Your Latest Graphic Rendering Buzzwords doesn't mean the games are going to be any better than Your Rotting 8-bit Piece of Shit.

Besides, if I wanted all of that, I could just go play Your $1800 PC Rig That Your Dad Paid For.

the Jaguar 2 MUAHAHA!
Ph3ar it.

Will your gaming console have Doom 4 as well? And a built in cappucino machine?

No?

Ah well, back to galaga.

This is obviously the Nintendo 64 2.

The Shit-a-mo-tron 4000 new microprocessor will enable games to render nearly 50 times more 3D image data than anything Microsoft can pull out of their asses, a serious leap over their much-vaunted console, which processes 3 million polygons with all effects in use. In fact, the Shit-a-mo-tron 4000's chip is to have data-processing speed several times faster than that of my 2500+ Barton XP, the latest in desktop computing.
Dipstick Incorporated claims that the Shit-a-mo-tron 4000 Name will be the gateway to a new world of digital entertainment with its combination of "breathtaking digital graphics, superb sound, and DVD-Video playback".

The Shit-a-mo-tron 4000 Will usher in a new era of scinematic quality graphics. Imagine playing games in your own home with the same quality and visual beauty that you see in the movies you watch with effects and animation rivaling that of Hollywood. The Shit-a-mo-tron 4000 will certainly be the hot commodity of 2005, and Your Company expects it to stomp the competiton.

Look for the Shit-a-mo-tron 4000 this Fall.

The Degeneratron!

"I'll never go to school again!"