Doom movie

Has anyone else noticed that the new upcoming "Constantine" movie with Keanu Reeves is going to be more Doom-like than the Doom movie itself?

*unzips fly and proceeds to urinate on Dave Callaham's head*

Thats the first thing I thought. Reminded me of the first time I booted Doom 3 alpha up "Only one man stands between hell and earth" That still gives me shivers.

I may go and see it, looks good, but it also looks like its going to have a rather generic religiouse plot that Hellboy tried to make. Doom movie will suck even if they did include hell.

*Wipes ass with Dave Callaham's torn face*

Constantine looks really good, but why the fuck did they hire Keanu? he can't act. Unless you consider being an uncharismatic retard to be acting.

destx said:

Constantine looks really good, but why the fuck did they hire Keanu? he can't act. Unless you consider being an uncharismatic retard to be acting.

Insulting Keanu Reeves' acting ability is really original.

No really. That idea hadn't already been fully exploited by half of the world population after the Matrix sequels came out.

Technician said:

"Only one man stands between hell and earth" That still gives me shivers.

And by shivers you mean shudders

I remember back when I was in a theater and the "Soldier" trailer came on, for the first 20 or 30 seconds I literally was like "what the fuck how did they make a Doom movie and I never heard a thing about it?!"

The Bill & Ted trilogy is Keanu's finest work.

He must be better than you guys give him credit for or they wouldn't be hiring him to act in movies, eh?

Meh. I don't blame Callahan for Doom movie's demise. I blame the fucker that stepped up and took his place.

Xenphire said:
Callahan

But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky"? Well, do you, punk?

Kristian Ronge said:

But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky"? Well, do you, punk?

Yes.

Now then, I own The Ultimate Matrix Collection DVD box set (which, by the way, has an aneurism-inducing amount of new stuff and is absolutely a priority for anyone with an interest in... well, anyone with interests) and I can tell you that Keanu Reeves is not acting badly. He lacks emotion because the character he's portraying isn't supposed to be very emotional. Does anyone say that Robert Patrick is a bad actor becaused he lacks emotion as the T-1000 in Terminator 2? No, because he is acting the way the director wants him to act.

And even if you exclude that, he still isn't acting horribly. It just became popular with the masses/media to make fun of him. Besides, being rather emotionless is a hell of a lot better than over-acting. Imagine William Shatner as Neo and you'll get what I'm saying.

As for his acting in Constantine, no one knows whether it sucks or not because THE MOVIE ISN'T OUT YET.

Gokuma said:

The Bill & Ted trilogy is Keanu's finest work.

Since when is it a trilogy? There's Excellent Adventure and Bogus Journey... last time I checked, that was two.

Aseph said:

... last time I checked, that was two

Dualogy?

I thought Constantine seemed more Max Payne-ish than Doom-ish.

Xenphire said:

He must be better than you guys give him credit for or they wouldn't be hiring him to act in movies, eh?

Sometimes people become popular for reasons that defy explanation. Right place, right time, etc., or they happen to appear in something that suits them, and as a result become wildly popular. Then they keep getting hired due to sheer name/face recognition.

Not saying that's necessarily the case here though.

Grazza said:

Sometimes people become popular for reasons that defy explanation. Right place, right time, etc., or they happen to appear in something that suits them, and as a result become wildly popular.

I'm saying that its the opposite. Why everyone is so against him really defies much explanation.

Coopersville said:

I thought Constantine seemed more Max Payne-ish than Doom-ish.

I can see that. But due to the fact that it actually has demons and Keanu's character goes to Hell briefly, it has turned out to be more like Doom than the upcoming Resident Evil ripoff movie that the half-assed executives at Hollywood decided to call Doom.

I mean, come on! Doom without demons is like a jelly donut with cow shit instead of the delicious, sugary jelly filling!

Looks like someone has a little crush on Keanu.

/blushes.

I must say I'm bitterly disappointed nobody praised my "Dirty Harry" joke (as in Harry CallahaN instead of Dave CallahaM). It took me at least 40 seconds to look up the exact quote on IMDB and use it for Xenphire's misspelling...

Bow before the comedy king! *shakes fist* Do iiiiiit...

Xenphire said:

He must be better than you guys give him credit for or they wouldn't be hiring him to act in movies, eh?

Oh yes, Hollywood could never be guilty of keeping a no-talent assclown like Keanu in business, they're way above that.

OOH HE SAID "KEANU BLOWS HORSE COCK, NO SOUP FOR YOU ETC."

destx said:

Looks like someone has a little crush on Keanu.

Actually, that would be impossible because I'm not gay.

Snarboo said:

Dualogy?

I believe the term is dilogy. At least, that is what was used in an academic text referring to the Greek theatre (which is where the terms trilogy and tetralogy originate). Of course, this term isn't found in general usage.

Kristian: I got your joke, and didn't consider it worthy of a "where is the funney" image.

Aseph: It was Melfice's logic that I was disputing - i.e. the claim that an actor getting repeatedly hired implies he must be a talented actor.

I find it pretty amazing that so many people use a fake interview with the writer to make assumptions about the Doom movie.

constantine is a total rape of a really good comic book. and keanu reeves' best acting really was in bill and ted.

clearly you never saw the first Matrix.
174 lines, most of them around 10 - 15 words.

http://cyb.vect.org:8080/misc/neo.txt

an award winning performance!

NiGHTMARE said:

I find it pretty amazing that so many people use a fake interview with the writer to make assumptions about the Doom movie.

It was fake?

Doom movie

Being filmed in Prag, it's basically raping itself up the ass...

Apparently Imps won't be lacking.

MRB_Doom said:

Doom movie

Being filmed in Prag, it's basically raping itself up the ass...

Prague, and I don't know what you're trying to insinuate, but lots of movies movies are filmed over there.

BTW to the people shitting on Dave Callaham, I'd just like to reiterate the point that screenwriters, unless they are also the director or producer (or both), have zero control over their scripts once they hand in the final draft. Dave is neither, plus he's a rookie writer in Hollywood, so naturally they're going to tear his script to shreds and change anything they see as a risk. And of course id doesn't care because they get a check either way.

Scabbed Angel said:

It was fake?

There were some fake quotes cited, and following that he then wrote an open letter to Doom fans. This letter wasn't exactly reassuring though, given phrases like "the film has steadily moved away from the realm of fandom and more toward the realm of traditional Hollywood interests" and "I don't enjoy watching a bunch of strangers bastardize my baby any more than you do".