The /newstuff Chronicles #223

Expect a certain rift, an inconsistency in the reviews this week. That's because this week is a double feature; it is a mixture consisting of WADs left unreviewed last week and WADs right reviewed this week. You can easily distinguish the style of the two different reviewers; one speaks his mind and is truly uninhibited, and the other states the known facts. One takes aliased, jagged screenshots of empty rooms, and the other takes smooth screenshots of active scenes. One parties hard with a twist, and the other believes in a secluded, sterile existence. There are other obvious indicators, but we won't take away all the fun. Strap on your thinking socks, because this week's challenge is to figure out who did who in the latest edition of The /newstuff Chronicles.

• My SecondLevel, What Fun. by Richard Chapin
  44kb - Doom - SP - (img) -
  The name just screams out the agonizing gameplay thatyou'll be going through on this one. Most of the time you'll bespending is in these mazes like shown in the screenshot. There'ssome good snippits of gameplay along the way but seriously gets a'wtf' for the strangest and one of the most frustrating levels toeven get though in my life. Not to mention, I couldn't find an exitin this map.
  
  
• Kneepaulby Paul Ladas
  702kb - Doom - SP - (img) - (img) -
  Alright. Worst week ever, 2nd 1994 wad in, and i'm begging formercy at the feet of the gods. This wad is named egypt, but theactual name of the wad is supposedly 'kneepaul.wad'. Before I burstout into tears of fury, i'll try to review this. The first map,shown in the screenshot above. That's it. That's all there is. Noexit, only a few monsters, and like, one pickup. The 2nd screenshotshown seems to be nothing but a brown based area with 5 billiontree objects. But no that's not the case, because there are doors,that has the exact same texture as the walls around them. I onlyfound this out in a map editor believe it or not...I highly suggestyou stay away.
  
  
• IllyngoUnderworld by Mephisto
  289kb - Skulltag - Doom 2 - SP - (img) -
  The world is saved from world domination of evil 1994 wads by amodern wad by everyone's lovable teddy bear Mephisto. Ahahahahahayou thought I was serious? This wad is the most tedius thing I HAVEEVER ENCOUNTERED IN THE HISTORY OF MY LIFE! Not that it's long butjesus christ, I wonder if the author was on cocaine when he madethis map. Lets jump from stair to stair of about 10 stairs and thenget to another platform, go around on a 64 unti wide platform inthe sky and the jump more stairs, fight off minimal amounts ofdemons, jump onto pillars that are barely as big as you are, forabout 5 levels and then fight a Cyberdemon with a Railgun. Ihonestly hope this is a joke.
  
  
• The TigerDen by Jim Young
  47kb - Doom - SP - (img) -
  The flood of old wads needs to stop. I can't stand it anymore.Here, you start in a e3m1 esque pit, hit the eye up you go, into aflesh walled room but it has carpeting! The demons are renovating Isee. What I find a tad funny is for a E1M3 map this does not havemany techish elements, so you'll need the registered doom to playthis, no shareware doom for you! The gameplay is moderate, justgrab the shotgun and shell box and that's prettym uch it until youface the spiderdemon then you get a invul sphere, bfg and cell packwhich makes it all too easy. Oh well, pick it up for a quick play Iguess.
  
  
• DoomTournament Wad Pack by Various Authors
  114kb - Doom - DM - (img) -
  A bunch of near identical wads for a 1994 augest tourny in some LAplace. Not only that, it's for Doom 1. Did you see that coming? Ibet not. Anyway, the wad consists of about 5 wads that are nearlythe exact same and 1 super cramped wad with a few pillars and agiant X shaped wall. Shotguns are the choice of weapon for mostmaps too. Except for the fact that you may or may not find youropponent in these spaces and wads, it's a fun play anyway. Made fora frantic fight when I played it with 3 others though.
  
  
• Yapper1by Eric Buchanan
  28kb - Doom 2 - SP, DM - (img) -
  Ok judging from the title you may question the sanity of theauthor of this wad, and decide not to play based solely on thename. And to sum it all up I couldn't agree more. The gameplay isfar out of whack in this one, as is the actual needs to completethe map. For instance, in order to get the yellow key you need toget past the yellow door. That should give you a sense of whatyou're up against. Also, be prepared for little more than none ammoin health. Have fun with this one.
  
  Side note: Don't try this with DM. Please.
  
  
• You Can RunBut You Can't Hide by Tony Engle
  33kb - Doom - DM - (img) -
  Another. Doom 1. Deathmatch. Wad. I'm overjoyed. Ok i'll cut theBS and review it then, spoilsports. In SP you fight an entirelegion with little armaments and fall into a pit which seems nearimpossible to actually climb back up, but it is! Making for a funfilled DM adventure of cliffs and...well...pits. Weapons and itemsare well typical for a 1994 DM wad, so if you're that cooky guy whocollects dusty DM and/or 1994 wads, give it a spin.
  
  
• Yerdeathby Alan Steinhauser
  19kb - Doom 2 - DM - (img) -
  Funduke needs to be banned from uploading 5 lolzillion 1994/1995wads to slowly tick off reviewers or to try to achieve worlddomination. This 1995 wad is yet again another DM map for yourviewing pleasure. It starts you off in SP mode in a room with thosedamaged hotel-like walls and a door, you got some ammo and medkitsaround you. Open up the next room and monsters await you! This mapfunctions as both some strange SP map and a DM map with onlycorridors and very secretly hidden areas. It's not bad, could usesome detail and more guns, but for a 1995 wad, it's a good one toDM on. Have fun.
  
  
• The Ghoul'sForest by Cutmanmike
  274kb - ZDoom - Doom 2 - SP, Co-op - 1 map -(img) -
  Sometimes we get something small, simple, and unique. This is adark, creepy forest, with one deadly monster to avoid. The mainidea is that you navigate your way through the blackened woods,collect the necessary items, and then destroy thekill-you-twice-before-you-die main monster. Perhaps accidentally,though, it is possible to finish the map in about twelve seconds,without even encountering the ghoul. But perhaps the brightest (ordarkest) aspect of this WAD is that it introduces an enemy where itis extremely difficult to stay alive once you meet it. I can'tremember ever having any difficulty running away from an enemy,especially in such an open area. In other words, this WAD has onenasty mother.
  
  
• Return toPhobos by Hobomaster22
  182kb - ZDoom - Doom 2 - SP - 1 map - (img) -
  This is a snappy tech-base-themed map for Doom 2. It is medium inits size, but above-normal in its visual detail. For the most part,it emulates Episode 1 of Doom. There are differences, though. It issomewhat harder than most E1 levels. It is fairly tight with theammo and very tight with the health. It is a bit of a challenge,but nothing unreasonable.
  
  
• Onslaught DM2 by Various Authors
  1,460kb - Enhanced Port - Doom 2 - DM - 20 maps- (img) - (img) - (img) - (img) - (img) - (img) - (img) -
  Deathmatch maps come and go, and they generally fade out of memoryquickly, but history shows that the megawads that stick withpeople. This 20-map smorgasbord lands in the deathmatch pool with alarge splash. It is a collection of high-detail maps, all small tomedium in size, with a mild of variety themes. The maps range fromdark to light and flat to tall. None of the maps are symmetrical,and the weapons are always placed generously. The WAD itself isobviously inspired by certain deathmatch classics, including Brit11 andJudas23.It also includes some common metal music replacements; ones thatare very traditional for deathmatch. Overall, this is a solidrepository of new maps that should make for constant fast-pacedaction.
  
  
• InfectedTelecom Stations by Karoly Horvath
  1,617kb - Enhanced Port - Doom 2 - SP - 11 maps- (img) - (img) - (img) -
  There will be a quantity of single-player maps this week; whetherthere is a quality is uncertain. These are eleven single-playermaps for Doom 2, and their design is very random. In fact,everything about this WAD seems random. A wide plethora of texturesare used in every room and area in this WAD. Enemies are scatteredrandomly, and item placement is often arbitrary. For the most part,there isn't enough ammo or health to go around. Enemies from smallto large are used in every map, so there is no build-up. If you areable to overlook this, and maybe use cheat codes, then you may finda few interesting puzzles to solve somewhere in the WAD. On theplus side, there are some decent music replacements.
  
  
• BastetFurrysDeathmatch Maps by Markus Stehr
  33kb - ZDoom - Doom 2 - DM - 2 maps - (img) -
  This is simply a tiny drop in the community's bucket of deathmatchmaps, and it isn't very significant. These two maps are small andsmall-medium in size. Both are indoor. One is a cramped solutionbased around the Nazi symbol, and the other is a storage room fullof crates. Weapons as large as the rocket launcher are provided,and some armor is also made available.
  
  
• Project666by Stealthy Ivan
  1,031kb - Doom 2 - SP, Co-op - 2 maps - (img) -
  Supposedly, this WAD is a work in progress. These two maps are ofa nameless theme, with a mixture of indoor and outdoor areas. Morethan most maps, these maps allow you to hide behind pillars andwalls while dealing with the enemies. Unlike other single-playerfeatures this week, ammo and health are balanced quite well. Thegameplay is slightly challenging, but manageable if you concealyourself properly.
  
  

fp! Bettar luck next time boys and girls.

Also another crummy newstuff week.

Who uploaded return to phobos? It wasnt me :o.

lololol.

What a week.

I take that back, Ghoul looks OK and Onslaught looks OK, but it's a DM mapset and nobody will ever play it.

hobomaster22 said:
Who uploaded return to phobos? It wasnt me :o.

Michael Kelsey.

Interesting how people's opinions on certain wads can vary.

Scuba Steve said:

I take that back, Ghoul looks OK and Onslaught looks OK, but it's a DM mapset and nobody will ever play it.

Onslaught DM2 was just used for this past FNF.

Also, http://www.doomworld.com/idgames/index.php?id=13284

"One is a cramped solutionbased around the Nazi symbol,"

Erm, if you see a swatsiska(sp?) there, it was not the intention.

God damnit! GOD DAMNIT! GOD DAMNIT!!! You forgot CT-Byron last week, and now this week! DAMNIT DON'T FORGET NEXT TIME! And just to let you know, the guy who was going last week's /newstuff couldn't run it because he was using 1.29. IT ONLY WORKS WITH 1.28 AND 1.27!!! DAMN YOU!

[/complain]

where the hell is KDIZD?

Nightmare Doom said:

where the hell is KDIZD?

Still in heavy production. Unfortunately, the recent copyright mess send us back a bit.

Return To Phobos shall have to tide you over for the time being :).

Nmn said:

Still in heavy production. Unfortunately, the recent copyright mess send us back a bit.

Whats the changes that are going to be made?

Nightmare Doom said:

Whats the changes that are going to be made?

All the levels, sprites and textures will be removed. Have fun!

This week was saved by a healthy dose of cynicism.

Also, I may not be that well informed, but why are there always 3 or 4 1994 wads in /newstuff? What is the point of re-releasing something that no one cared about in '94 (unless of course it was actually.. good)?

what the hell is with these reviews? Half of them are seem to be written by deathZor's three year old brother and the other half are written by someone who's sentence structure is indictive of a 30 year old virgin in the late stages of atomic blue-balls...

Just review the wads and leave the comedy to the professionals, kids.

darknation said:

what the hell is with these reviews? Half of them are seem to be written by deathZor's three year old brother and the other half are written by someone who's sentence structure is indictive of a 30 year old virgin in the late stages of atomic blue-balls...

Hmm, yes, read the intro.

Are you the one with poor grammer and a poor artisitc sense when it comes to capturing game stills?

hobomaster, take note.

I liked your map a lot. While very well detailed and great to look at, the map just didn't flow very good in my opinion. There was also a lack of health making the level overly-difficult even beside the fact that there are very few big fights.

Overall I felt like I was just running back and forth throughout the map and it just didn't seem very well connected. I think you are one of the better credits to Doom mapping and I was suprised by this release in both positive and negative ways.

Anyway, just thought I'd give some constructive critism, take it or leave it I guess.

But don't let my comments stop you from making an e1 episode. That'd kick ass!

The ghoul deserves to be in a more elaborate map.

Chronoteeth said:

God damnit! GOD DAMNIT! GOD DAMNIT!!! You forgot CT-Byron last week, and now this week! DAMNIT DON'T FORGET NEXT TIME! And just to let you know, the guy who was going last week's /newstuff couldn't run it because he was using 1.29. IT ONLY WORKS WITH 1.28 AND 1.27!!! DAMN YOU!

[/complain]

Calm down. I at least did a pseudo-review last week, didn't I?

YES YOU DID! THANK YOU FOR IT!


[teh teh teh teh]

Can someone kill the ghoul without cheats?

That's exactly what my friend Marc was asking yesterday. While visiting, he seemed mildly obsessed with killing the thing.

The thing has half the hit points of a cyberdemon. Unless there's some way to "trap" the monster in the map somewhere, it seems unlikely that it can be beaten. Like I said, the ghoul needs a slightly different map to be scary but not unbeatable.

@ dittohead: I never really liked that map much, I wasnt the one who uploaded it, so dont worry about it :).

There's enough ammo on the map to kill the ghoul. There's a weapon at each of the four corners of the map, along with the three guns at the exit switch. Of course, maintaining accuracy against such a fast target is a pain...

That thing nearly made me jump out of my skin when it first attacked me. ;)

iori said:

All the levels, sprites and textures will be removed. Have fun!

You forgot that also every script, ZDoom feature, detail, gameplay, graphic, musc and data at all will be removed from the KDiZD wad. Ever played EMPTY.WAD ?

Vile said:

There's enough ammo on the map to kill the ghoul. There's a weapon at each of the four corners of the map, along with the three guns at the exit switch. Of course, maintaining accuracy against such a fast target is a pain...

I don't think that ammo is the issue. It seems near impossible to stay alive for 15 seconds, let alone spend the two minutes to land the 20 accurate shots needed to kill it.

In case I forgot to say it earlier, The Ghoul (the enemy, not the map) is a gem and it deserves a fitting map.

AndrewB said:

In case I forgot to say it earlier, The Ghoul (the enemy, not the map) is a gem and it deserves a fitting map.

I agree... any takers? :)

I had imagined some sort of survival-horror wad where fighting the ghoul would be punishment for making a wrong move or something similar... too bad my imagination never translated into a decent wad (I've tried).