Doom Poem

Shred of Humanity


He was once a man
With a mind and with a mission
But then when evil tainted his soul
His humanity was lost to corruption
So as he stood over the corpse
Of the one man who had tried to save them
His new instincts fought with his still active mind
And, laying down his gun, laying down his pride
He wept for the hero, and looked into his shattered visor
What had he become? Had he changed into an animal?
No, but evil had tried
That was when humanity sparked in them all
As all the corrupted gathered around the corpse
And so, as they all wept, and remembered who they were, they realized
The evil was always there
And they were like the hero without it
Dead
And so, as chainguns, shotguns, and flesh
Fell to the floor
The evil left the corrupted
And their fiery eyes became a dormant blue
And all blood shed began to vanish
And the horrible visions that had haunted the halls fell
And a bit of evil died as well
As all of the horrible creatures began to change
The message was clear
For the evil in humanity was only a seed
Which from all else grew
And the demons that had errupted from Man's own evil
Began to vanish, like the vileness that had haunted the humans
And Phobos became yet again, silent




Now, I'm not the most optimistic person in the world, but that's why I play doom, so inbetween 1337ing out the competition and dieing, a supposed that i'd have to eventually write a Doom Poem, so here it is, in all of it's "Glory" but you have to wonder, what about those zombies? Want Feedback

Decent. The rhythm is a little off in places, but otherwise it flows smoothly. Favorite line:
And so, as chainguns, shotguns, and flesh
Fell to the floor
The evil left the corrupted
And their fiery eyes became a dormant blue

I enjoyed that part most, though maybe a little more clarity would be nice. Are they dying, as I assume, or are they being purified? Anyway, not a bad effort.

Well, they are zombies, so they're already dead, but what I meant was that, as the evil left their bodies, than evil died a bit as well.

is english your first language?

Me? Yeah, English is, why? If this is one of those If the Triangle is next to the circle, than what is the rhombus near? Questions, I probably don't know the answer, although everyone knows that it's the hexegon...

darknation said:

is english your first language?

Heh..

Slayne said:

I enjoyed that part most, though maybe a little more clarity would be nice. Are they dying, as I assume, or are they being purified? Anyway, not a bad effort.

Clarity? It's a poem, it's not meant to make sense. :p

Comiclez said:

If the Triangle is next to the circle, than what is the rhombus near? Questions, I probably don't know the answer, although everyone knows that it's the hexegon...

Your poem is good, quite fun IMO.
Your riddles are bad :P
Keep writing poetry man!

kristus said:

Clarity? It's a poem, it's not meant to make sense. :p

Just because nobody understands it doesn't make it poetry. Go read some of that wickedly awful poetry on the goth forums. I reject your :p and substitute boxing kirby. o-(-_-Q) (moronic grin) Anyway, keep writing Comiclez.

Slayne said:

Favorite line:
And so, as chainguns, shotguns, and flesh
Fell to the floor
The evil left the corrupted
And their fiery eyes became a dormant blue

Comiclez said:

...what I meant was that, as the evil left their bodies, than evil died a bit as well.

That's briliantly worded IMO. I liked it a lot. A band I played guitar in a while back covered Doom songs (We did Doom 1, e1m1, e2m2, e3m1). I guess we were thrash/speed metal. It would be cool to use your poem as lyrics to one of those songs. Too bad I left the band, or I'd probably ask :P

"As all the corrupted gathered around the corpse
And so, as they all wept, and remembered who they were, they realized
The evil was always there
And they were like the hero without it
Dead"
-Oh so you mean they killed the Doom guy? That's not nice...
LOL