If life was like Doom...

If life was like Doom...

1. People with AIDS would be cured by walking over a medkit.

2. You could shoot a rocket launcher at the floor and survive.

3. You could jump off the Grand Canyon and land without a scratch.

4. You could carry a million objects nomatter how weak you were.

...continue the list :)

DJShrimpy said:
1. People with AIDS would be cured by walking over a medkit.

Maybe it'd patch your immunodeficiency for a bit, but except adding hit points there's no indication that the medikits heal any diseases the marine may be exposed to. Envirosuit sex might be safe sex, though.

2. You could shoot a rocket launcher at the floor and survive.

Against a wall you mean (where you'll likely die anyway unless well armored or invulnerable), in a world like Doom you can't even shoot down unless the target incidentially happens to be on lower ground.

3. You could jump off the Grand Canyon and land without a scratch.

Be sure to jump forward, because if you just let yourself drop the universe will implode due to an overflow.

4. You could carry a million objects nomatter how weak you were.

Nah, it's just that we would all be very muscular dudes.

DJShrimpy said:
3. You could jump off the Grand Canyon and land without a scratch.

If life were like Doom, the world wouldn't have that much height variation. The Grand Canyon wouldn't exist. If the world were like ZDoom, on the other hand, you could have a drop like that, but it would also hurt you.

How about...

5. You could run into a wall a million times and never get hurt! :)

EDIT: And ZDoom stuff counts too!

6. You could quicksave and quickload each time you screwed something up.
7. You could run all the time without getting tired (an estimate of Doomguy's speed, anyone?)
8. You could get rich by selling the many ammo clips, shotguns or chainguns let around by zombies, you could only use one anyway.
9. You would have access to a never-ending supply of fresh meat, yet another source of income.
10. Your chainsaw would never run out of gas.
11. Your fist would be, apparently, at least as powerful as a gunshot.
12. With the berserker pack, your fist would be as powerful as a SSG or even a rocket.
13. For some reason, you would attack only using a single fist with direct hits. Not too great for a professional boxing career.
14. Walls and most objects would make just a pixelated puff when hit (unless you have the luxury of decals and particle effects...)
15. You would have a tendency to rest the weapons' butt right in front of your face.
16. You would have this weird tendency to make a painful face after you got seriously hit and then immediately healed.

etc. etc...

17. You could run at the fastest speed, nomatter how beat up you were. :)

18) You can change your appearance in a matter of seconds by going to a random computer. You can look like anything, even Hitler!

19. you could stand by nuclear waste for days and not get radiation sickness, but if you touch it you'll get a bit of a sting.

20. you can walk on molten lava and not melt, it'll just hurt a bit.

21) Toilets would be uncomfortable to use and a real eyesore.
22) The ground and walls would all start to look the same after awhile.
23) At her funeral, you might go crazy trying to run around your grandma because she looks the same from every angle.
24) Climbing trees would be a lot harder.
25) Insomnia and starvation wouldn't be such an issue.
26) You'd automatically pick up things you walked over, whether you wanted to or not.
27) You wouldn't have a very wide range of facial expressions.
28) Whatever you watched on TV would just be the same four frames of animation, over and over.
29) Liquid would look unusually thick.
30) Any and all barrels would be of particular danger, since they'd either be on fire, or extremely volatile.
31) Anyone entering the field of blueprinting would have a real challenge on their hands.

32) There would be a lot of bad architecture around, and for some reason you would associate it with the year 1994.
33) The variety of building materials and decorations would appear pretty limited and outlandish, for some reason.
34) Elevators would almost always be exposed rising platforms. Hurray for safety.
35) You would be unable to jump, at most you could do small hops after running.
36) Your "jumps" would be blocked in mid-air if there was *anything* even 100m below you, causing you to fall.
37) Your running speed, even when badly hurt and carrying a ton of weaponry and ammo, would greatly surpass even the best 100 m. sprinters!

38. For some reason the sky would look the same no matter what time it was.
39. You could walk on water. :O
40. You could shoot a rocket launcher at grass and wouldn't cause a fire.
41. Whenever there's a transparant window, one side has a texture and the other side is completely blank.
*cough shower curtain cough*

42. You would be devoured by demons from hell on a regular basis. Think that cuts out any real benefits ..

43. You would not have a name.
44. No matter what you're carrying, you always appear to be holding an assault rifle, and the use of your "fist" appears to involve nothing more than pointing this weapon at someone.
45. You never need sleep!
46. From someone else's point of view, you would never stand unless you were shooting; you would just freeze in mid-walk.
47. You would not be able to meet more than three people at once. Have fun at your birthday party.
48. For some reason, your only weapons that show any recoil are your pistol and your rocket launcher.
49. Projectiles can magically travel through trees, pillars, and torches.
50. You never need to reload your weapons (OMG 300 ROUND PISTOL CLIP LOL)
51. BODIES... EVERYWHERE.

52. You could walk through a million dead bodies and not get any blood stains on your new shoes! ^_^

These sorts of threads sure are popular.

53. You could run stairs w/ no problem (also no problem for me :) ), as if they were flat
54. Instead of vaults, you cleverly design big tables to keep your treasure on
55. It would be terribly boring as well

Oh I can't believe nobody mention this.

56. All the doors would open upwards!

DJShrimpy said:

Oh I can't believe nobody mention this.

56. All the doors would open upwards!

Not if you are using ZDoom. :D

When each day is over and you go to sleep, you dream about a tally screen appearing and tabulating your accomplishments.

Graf Zahl said:

Not if you are using ZDoom. :D

I do believe the thread was titled "If life were like Doom" not "If life were like (G)ZDoom."

Good attempt though

57. All Buttons would be at least head-size
58. Even the tallest building could only have one floor

59. bullets and shotgun pellets are invisible.
60. you could shoot your friend in the face with a shotgun and he'll still be alive to shoot you back.
70. you could walk around on the surface of a martian moon in short sleeves.
71. there is medicine and ammo lying around everywhere.
72. gotta go long distance? hey! we got teleporters!

73. All girls would be guys pretending to be females. Not only that, but also they'd look like male marines.
74. Some times rain would look unrealistic, others it'd slow down the world.

75. All opponents and friends weapons look like a FAMAS, even if it is a chainsaw.

59. bullets and shotgun pellets are invisible.

Why, you normally CAN see bullets and pellets in real life? (tracer bullets excluded of course, and they are not used in handguns and shotguns anyway).

75. All opponents and friends weapons look like a FAMAS, even if it is a chainsaw.

This has already been said....yet we all have missed the most obvious things:

76.) Your sight and your world would be pixelated!
77.) Sometimes you'd have to restrict your field of vision and the detail of your vision to be able to see quickly.
78.) Even in the worse situations, you can always type IDDQD and cheat your way out of almost anything :-)

Maes said:

Why, you normally CAN see bullets and pellets in real life? (tracer bullets excluded of course, and they are not used in handguns and shotguns anyway).

With the right lighting they are visible as streaks heading towards the target.

#79 All bridges have be made of grating and have a tendency of malfunctioning when more then one person tries to use them.

You can also see bullets and pellets in real life if you just take them out of the gun and magazine... :P

Dr. Zin said:

With the right lighting they are visible as streaks heading towards the target.

That sounds like Hollywood bullshit...it's very unlikely you'll be able to see a FIREARM bullet as it heads towards a target. *Maybe* an airgun bullet (if the airgun is in really bad conditions) or a defective firearm round but else, even to see a fairly large artillery shell, you'd need some sort of high speed photography, no less.

Bullshit my ass. I have seen both rifle bullets and shot clouds travelling to targets. When shooting trap at night under lights it is fairly easy to see another shooter's shot travelling to break ca lay, especially if you don't focus your eyes on a particular point of the path of travel. I've also seen it shooting rifles when the sun is low in the sky and the light reflects off the jacket, looking like a faint trail.

EDIT:

http://thehighroad.org/showthread.php?t=1257&highlight=round+flight

People discussing four different way they have seen bullets.

1. Vapor trails in high humidity conditions seen with the naked eye.
2. Bullet wakes through spotter scopes.
3. Light reflecting from the bullets seen with the naked eye.
4. Overstressed bullets coming apart mid-flight seen with the naked eye.

DJShrimpy said:
EDIT: And ZDoom stuff counts too!

And what about all the other engines that change additional things like Vavoom, EDGE, Legacy, JDoom, GZDoom, and so on? In any case, "Doom" is the engine (or the plain v1.10 source), while DOOM is the game in general.