Edgar Allen Poe and Doom...

Doom And Edgar Allen Poe? One of the questions on the Doom2 pop quiz thread asked what connection there was between Edgar Allen Poe and Doom. Thinking about that got me all inspired and creative, so I sat down and rewrote "The raven" to give it a more "Doomy" feel. And this is the result. My apologies to Mr Poe. And to Homer Simpson.

Revised 07/2010

Revised 02/2023

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
From those savage battles bleary, covered in a bloody gore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my red key door.
'A former human, now restored, tapping at my red key door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember; human bodies, now dismembered
As each dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly had I sought to borrow
From my guns an end to sorrow - sorrow for this bloody war -
The UAC, that corporate whore, who brought such demons to my door,
Such nameless dread forevermore.

My blue armor, I am certain, covered me like some brutal curtain
Onward now, to do some hurtin'; bloodied art that I had yet to draw
So that now, to still the beating, of my heart I moved; repeating,
' 'Tis some rescue team entreating entrance at this Hangar door -
Brave marines yet seeking access at my red key door; -
This it is, and nothing more.'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
'Damn,' said I, perception stronger, life no longer here the only law;
But these demons I was trapping, this strange complex automapping,
And so faintly they came scrapping, tapping at my red key door,
I scarce was sure I heard them - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there; wondering, fearing,
Could this silence yet be hearing mine very breath: a fatal flaw
But the darkness gave no token; still the only sounds there spoken
Hellish hunger; twisted, broken, such broods of demon spoor
At last they spoke from depths obscure, ' 'Tis one marine, his blood shall pour;
A mere human; nothing more.'

Back into the Hangar turning, revving chainsaw blurred and churning,
Soon again I heard a burning somewhat louder than before.
'Surely,' said I, 'surely; that is something at my red key door;
Let me see, what monsters there; this mystery deplore -
Let my heart be still a moment; these hellspawn'd halls explore; -
With glinting weapons, fell and worn; tools to even up the score!'

Now my chaingun starts and stutters; blood awash o'er marble'd gutters,
A raving pinky, here I shuddered: such muscles; teeth I'd not ignore.
Not the least delay made he; not a minute stopped nor stayed he;
Yellow'd eyes, dark and shady, charged on through my Hangar door -
Savage; huge, this chaingun rouge, just inside my red key door -
- T'was soon a thump, then nothing more.

Yet another demon dying; bloodied face smeared, smiling
Rippl'd souls, flaming, flying; unearthly killers I was sure
By the bitmapped light, a vengeance vast and huge, I swore
Filthy and alone, unshaven; carving out a savage haven
Impossible that I be craven, lost upon this hellish shore -
'Death' I whispered, and for sure, such prophecies of endless war;
Things all demons do adore... tis' ours forevermore.

Humans, sergeants, their last breath, cursed me with their awful theft
'Demons thine - unto thee death!' - a sudden silence mocked my bitter roar;
Desolate yet still undaunted, Cacodemons, El'mental's flaunted -
In these hell's, by horrors haunted - tell me true, lest I ignore -
'A megasphere beyond this door? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the Demons, 'Nevermore.'

Much I marveled as I saw, blood-eyed imps with horn and claw,
Now all halted, lightly salted, thus resulted from my shotgun's double bore;
For I cannot help but see, that no living human's be
Blessed with better aim than me; now striding through that red key door;
Blood and guts a-scattered, 'cross doortrak frames they splattered,
Ugly things in mounds lay shattered, these dead have no esprit d'corps
Covered in their greasy gore, sweat dripping from my every pore

- Buckshots vengeance heretofore!

Then flayed 'vile, standing lonely, on the floor, spoke only,
That one growl unhomely, as if its very soul outpour'd.
Nothing further then it uttered - these startan rooms be all but cluttered -
With demons yet living; I muttered, 'I have killed all these before' -
Pursued by yellowed flames that draw, my life away, I roar,
'Die foul vile, die, upon this hallowed floor.'

Startled at the stillness still; as Tartarus' adrenal thrill,
Scorn'd blood and bile, stained and swill; and still, and still they came, a-drawn by its last breath,
Now ruined; slain by this marine, who by unmerciful disaster'd scene
Followed fast and followed lean; till every gun spewed smoking death -
Until the weapons of my hope that terrible burden bore

-to end for all eternal war
Cry once, and once again,

'Never. Never. Nevermore.'

But these demons, still beguiling; my very soul, defiling,
Straight-aimed rockets flying, on through that red key door;
Medikit, stimpack, soulsphere collected, tho' so many fiends detected
Tenements, Courtyards, Citadels affected; this I surely saw
Through them all I grimly swore, mine weapons crushing hell's cruel maw
Whatever must be done this day, to even up the score.

My thoughts confused, engaged in guessing, no syllable a hope expressing
Such terror deeply pressing; from those fiery eyes that burned me to my core;
This and more I stood divining, as it limped towards me, rockets whining
My plasma gunsights brutal lining, blue streams of death to it assigning,
It would not die, at last resigning, my battered soul unto its jaws
Peace at last, from dreadful war!

Then, methought, my guns reloaded, 'twixt clouds of blood, the thing exploded
Thine Tower of Babel now eroded, hurled backwards 'pon that cursed floor.
'Death,' I cried, 'my God hath lent me - by these rockets He hath sent thee
Back to awful hells from which thee came before -
And to thy end, with hope and awe, I stepped now through some portal door
A lonely offer to offal'd Morr.

Quoth the demons, "Nevermore."

'At last!' said I, 'A place called Dis! What manner of green marble this?' -
As I strode forward, my guns I kiss, this brain on legs, too big to miss
Maybe for such a time as this, had I once joined the Corps?
Huge legs a-rattling, vast brain a-battling - the none-too-subtle hiss of Gatling
Did pin me to those marble floors, and as I reached for ammo stores
and splattered it 'cross marble halls
Did I but quoth, 'My world, not yours.'

'Be that word our sign of parting, Mastermind!' I shrieked, upstarting
Teleports! And through them darting; there was peace, I could've sworn!
And here 'twas, despite my hoping: bloodied death my senses scoping
Some part of me be stilled yet groping, to slay again these demon-spawn!
I had three keys, and colored skulls; there were no doors could end my culls

No longer bound by hellish hulls: no longer chased by burning skulls,

I wondered then if this could all be lore?
Quoth the fallen Mastermind, "'Tis thou I do abhor."

And at the last the Icon of Sin, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting;
Dead and decayed, a fate most fitting; just outside this red key door,
And though it schemed, and of victory dreamed,
It proved insufficient, so it seemed; t'was I who solely won the war;
A hideous visage corrupts no more, Romero's head reduced and sore
Doom 1, Doom 2, Doom 3, Doom 4 await beyond this red key door...
Again I say, 'Forevermore!'
 

Who's this Edgar Allen Poe, the son of Woody Allen and some chick surnamed Poe?

myk said:

Who's this Edgar Allen Poe, the son of Woody Allen and some chick surnamed Poe?

Errrrrm. Close enough.

Edgar Allan Poe is a famous English writer that lived around the 19th century, in the Romantic Age.

More or less (since he was American), so I wondered who this Edgar Allen Poe would be.

Yes, let's ignore a poem and criticize spelling, why don't we.


I'm impressed, Kyka. Very good stuff. At least, it's better than any poem I could write, and that just so happens to be my definition of "very good stuff."

Creaphis said:
Yes, let's ignore a poem and criticize spelling, why don't we.

And there was I, thinking it was all a humorously suitable riddle to play on the guys.

In any case, I was waiting for our literary expert, Creaphis, to state his informed opinion on the masterpiece before emitting my mundane opinions, that would evidently be of no import.

:|

okay I'll be quiet

Edgar Alien Poe

Thanks Creaphis. :)

esselfortium said:

Edgar Alien Poe

Heh. Nice touch.

Excellent rewrite of Poe's classic--you managed to keep the feel of the original while successfully incorporating all sorts of DOOM-ly goodness into it.

Wouldn't it be cool if you had a time machine, went back in time, and switched your version out for Poe's? Then everybody'd be hailing Poe as the Nostradamus of video games and be scouring all of his works for other game references. :D

*Bump*


Coz every doomer should expand their sense of culture....

I think I like this better than the original... This should be viral on youtube, like a video playing, with someone syaing through this poem in the background. EPIC!

Sorry for the epic unearthing, but THIS. IS. BRILLIANT. I mean, seriously good. One of the coolest texts I've ever read, I mean it. It definitely deserves more attention :O

@Fernito Thank you for the encouragement. :)

1 minute ago, Kyka said:

@Fernito Thank you for the encouragement. :)

Weird off topic, but why this thread created in 2008 when your user said you were registered in 2016?

Because one of the mods, upon my request, combined my three different accounts, including 2 old accounts, (one of which was losered,) into one account. The newest account I created in 2016, but all posts from the old accounts have been incorporated into that account.

Just now, Kyka said:

Because one of the mods, upon my request, combined my three different accounts, including 2 old accounts, (one of which was losered,) into one account. The newest account I created in 2016, but all posts from the old accounts have been incorporated into that account.

Oh that explain.