Espi: Bad news regarding one of Doom's premier mappers

Dude just the other night I randomly decided to play good ole' Suspended In Dusk (being among the top of my all-time faves) and still can't get over how awesome it is (that and Chopinsca's insane detailing on Sodding Death, but that's besides the point).

Anyway even though I don't know Espi personally, he is definitely my favorite mapper, and I am sorry to hear about him or anyone losing an arm. I don't know how I could ever accept something like that happening to me, but once again, he's an inspiration to us all.

Here's wishing you a new cyber-arm within the next 30 years! (If they ever invent one I propose we all chip in to buy him one so he can get back to making more kickass maps for us to play! And for his own personal benefit of course..)

Jesus, espi, sorry about your arm :(

Get well soon man.

And it only takes one arm to operate a mouse anyway, mapping might be a little slower (and i imagine Doom Builder's 3D mode will become an excercise in torture) but hardly impossible!

It's rather basic, can't really do much else with it than carry things in the grip and use it as a temporary paperweight.

I might get one of those fancy ones that are controlled by nerve impulses or whatever later, once I've gotten used to this simple prosthesis first.

Where do the rockets go?

Glad things are still progressing. :)

I take it that's a chemo hairstyle too? My wife was sporting something smilar a few years back. It looks better on a guy. ;)

Enjay said:

Where do the rockets go?

Where else would they go?

That fake arm looks neat. Are the fingers flexible or solid?

Enjay said:

I take it that's a chemo hairstyle too?

Yeah, although I'm kinda starting to like it now.

Edward850 said:

Are the fingers flexible or solid?

They do flex some, as they're kept in that position by springs, but they're quite stiff.

Set this as the goal.

Looks like you're all set to chug your whiskey.

thats not prosthetics, espi is actually a terminator

We can rebuild him... stronger, faster, better than he was before...

So I've been curious about this, does your arm ever itch or hurt even though it's not there? My grandma had both of her legs amputated, but she never mentioned any symptoms of phantom-limb syndrome. Also, when you try to move your fingers, does it feel like they are actually moving?

Hope I'm not being too intrusive, just really curious what it all feels like...

If I lost an arm, It would take no less than a railgun to satisfy me.

EarthQuake said:

So I've been curious about this, does your arm ever itch or hurt even though it's not there? My grandma had both of her legs amputated, but she never mentioned any symptoms of phantom-limb syndrome. Also, when you try to move your fingers, does it feel like they are actually moving?

Hope I'm not being too intrusive, just really curious what it all feels like...

You beat me to it. I was going to ask the same question, if you feel like answering it.

It still feels like my fingers are there, especially fingertips. Guess that's because they're the most sensitive part. I can also feel the nerve endings that used to be on my elbow. It's a constant vague numb feeling. It isn't painful or anything, and most of the time I don't pay attention to it. I can try to move the fingers but it doesn't feel like they're moving (if that makes sense).

Really sad news indeed. I wish Espi the very best.

I'm really sorry to hear about this. I wish all the best for your recovery, with Finnish SISU you can!

Suomalaisella sisulla ja elämänhalulla vaikka läpi harmaan kiven menee mies eikä kaadu vaikka käsi menis! Kaikkea hyvää ja parasta vointia sekä pikaista paranemista sulle!

I think we need to make Espi the boss for E2M8 now

Go go go Espi !!!

On January 2008, I was quite dead with my ganglionic cancer, but life won the battle. I'm battling since 7 years to stay alive with a not curable cancer. Severals surgeries, of course... Several chemo, of course... Lost my hairs, of course... They came back, of course...

You are still there, playing Doom left handed... Well alive yourself...
Life's goes on, right?

Yes, life is going ON !!!!!!!!!
We are with you, man!
Take care, and God bless you!

Jean

Saw your E4M1 video. Nice to see your well :)

And here's one-handed raiding.

My camera's mic sucks ass.

Espi said:

My camera's mic sucks ass.

Your mic sucks, but you was the only important point for us, and you are far from sucking. You are an example of a strong will facing the adversity.
I am happy to have you staying in my mind... and... Sorry, I can't tell what I have in my spirit, otherwise I would be qualified to be what I am not. Words are unable to carry some realities, far from our materialist world.

Take care, and do have a good road with all your friends on your sides (and they are a bunch !!!)

My condolences. I'm glad to see everything's O.K.

What the hell is with doomers and cancer? I have had Chronic myelogenous leukemia since I was 18. Been in remission for 6 years now. Epsi take care of yor self.

Oh, and you need a big gauntlet shaped like a fist, thats solid metal. Or a kinfe hand like Mr. Han's from Enter the Dragon.

I feel your pain Espi.

Early on in 08, my doctor discovered I had a huge brain tumor on my left lobe, and it needed to come out right away. It took me months to recover, and I still had frequent seizures, and I still can't drive cars, or drink for a long time.

However, seeing you in good spirits, and being able to overcome what you have gone through is a great inspiration. Get well soon!

ReX said:

Espi (Esa Repo), one of DooM's most respected mappers, has epithelioid sarcoma on his arm. This is a rare type of cancer, and is virtually untreatable. He reported that he was going to have surgery to remove his arm last Friday. This is terrible news in general, of course, but it strikes a blow to the DooM community - as a result of his surgery Espi will not be able to work on his computer (at least for quite a while) and will not be able to continue with his DooM mapping endeavors.

Join me in wishing Espi the very best for a speedy and complete recovery.

Time for a short story...

Because of living close to German border, my Grandfather was forced to join the Wermacht during the WW2.
(The deal was something like "Jump in truck or we burn the house and kill your family").
(The official term for those people is "Malgre Nous" translatable by something like "Forced to go" )

After having beeing took in front line through eastern Europe, he had been hurt by a grenade schrapnel in his arm.
He had to be hospitalised in rear side and been arm cutted, at 20 years old.

Fortunally by beeing injuried he didn't reached Stalingrad, where he certainly never have came back...
He met my grandmother in the Hospital village located in Alsace and had two sons.

He was right hand writer and had to become left hand writer.
Believe me, you can't imagine how he cleaned the table or other things.
He was an electronic specialist and only required some small tricks to adapt his working place to continue welding.

I sincerelly understand the mind of Espi and discussed sometimes with my grandfather about (I was 14).
He didn't told a lot about but said that he can still use a third of is arm to maintain things, and saw people with really worse injuries, KIA or MIA.

So, I've no problem to look at people having a cutted member (I don't focus on the member). This certainly reminds me the warmness of my grandfather.
If ones Espi has to make a trip in Paris, I'd be honored to assist him for a tour.

E-mail anytime : iceman_57@hotmail.com

I think you could feasibly play Doom with one of those gaming mouses with 20 buttons (a left handed one). I remember playing Wolfenstein 3d with just a mouse.

EDIT: Nevermind, watched your video.

I remember him, I have not been on here in a long time due to life... :P But I hope you do well in this matter.
Good luck!
:)

This is sad and I hope you do well, that is pretty rough, glad to see you can still play games ok, thats rather amazing!
I have not been a active member for a while now since my life is rather busy these days.
But I will always remember the good times here on DW.
Good luck, and keep up the good work that I have seen!
:)
Doom for ever!
Espi, stay strong!!!!!!
BTW my cousin Shelly had to recently lose her arm due to bone marrow cancer, you will be ok dude! :) Even though it might be a big change in your life.
Now you are like a Cyber Demon with your bio mechanical arm! :P

Stealthy Ivan said:

Now you are like a Cyber Demon with your bio mechanical arm! :P

I'm sure he'll find that a comforting thought.

I'm late getting to this one. Was going to say this sounded horrible, but it seems things are getting back to normal. And I am selfishly relieved that his mapping can continue.