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sleepy_boy

doom squared

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DOOM SQUARED: THE PROLOGUE
E4M8

Allright, here’s the beginning of my new doom 2 series of stories. I am starting at the end of the last level of “Thy flesh consumed”. Tell me if you like it, and if I get enough support, I’ll write the first chapter.



“AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!”

Your senses have finally returned to you. How could there have been another one of those technical monstrosities? Didn’t you already kill her? No, the memories come back to you; there were four of those spider alcoves back in that floating fortress in Hell. That means there must be two more still roaming the world. Plus, there was that flesh and wire building in the center. Of course! It makes perfect sense now! A biomechanical cloning chamber, like those spawning vats back on Deimos. There could be hundreds more.

Thinking back to the now. The huge wooden column in the center is moving down. There is a circle of shiny material, forming a pit in the middle and reflecting the sky. Around the hole are words, written in fancy Italian:

“Teleporter Internazionale: Vatican alla porta dello spazio del Chicago. Sviluppato 2256”

Judging the syntax of the words, you make out what it’s trying to tell you:

“International teleporter – The Vatican to Chicago. 2256.” You cannot make out the rest.

But why Chicago? There’s nothing there but….

“The Spaceport!”

No wonder the Spidermind was guarding this! If one of them got control of the shipdocks. No one would be able to escape Earth! You’ve gotta go through and help them! Without hesitation, you jumped into the glare of the pit, and wait for the teleportal to buzz.

Nothing.

You open your eyes. You’re hovering about a foot over the pit, but you can feel solid ground under your feet. A voice in Italian, coming through a speaker somewhere, says something you can’t understand, but the guns coming out of the walls and pointed at you seem to give you a hint. It’s an automatic security sensor that has detected your heavy weapons. You walk off the “pit”, and drop the BFG9000, the plasma rifle, and the UAC rocket launcher.

You try the teleporter again.

Nothing. And this time a red dot of a laser-guided gun is over your forehead. Once again, you step off and look for some sort of computer terminal. There’s probably one up in the booths where the cacodemons were hiding. After eliminating some imps and sergeants, you’re in the booth, and yes, there is a terminal

You select English from the options menu and slide your marine ID card into the slot

“Welcome to the Vatican City – Chicago Spacedock Teleportal. The time is 7:03 pm, 04/07/62. Would you like:

-Information on The Vatican?

-Information on the Teleportal?

-Security Measures?

Choosing the last one, you find out that civilians are restricted from entering with arms. However, the machine detects your ID card and displays “UAC Marine Corp members are allowed to take one standard UAC class 3 pistol, and will be provided with the appropriate arms upon arrival.” Suddenly, the guns outside fold back into the walls and the machine spits out your card.

Back on the ground level now, you decide to make a running start at the portal.

“BUZZ”

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Not bad.
About the POV: I've seen lots of other stories on this forum with the 'you' point of view, so it really doesn't bother me too much.

Btw, aren't you too busy writing the H*e*X*e*n story to post another one?
I sure hope you haven't dumped it in favour of this, because I'm still looking forward to hear Parias' story as well as seeing how you're going to tell the rest of the tale.

It's not that your new story is bad (you have some really good ideas imo), but I think it would be best to stay with one "project" at a time.
Of course, taking a break from one story because you feel that you're running out of ideas is ok, as long as you return to other story some time...

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I'm putting off H*E*X*E*N for a while, i need a break. I have an idea for it, but i want time for me to develop it.

I put the spaceport in Chicago becauuse it has one of the busiest airports.

I will do 20 chapters; one for each level up to Hell.

There will also be a thread devoted to ideas/questions about the story.

[edit]I chose the Vatican because it matched the wood and marble textures of "thy flesh consumed".

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There will also be a thread devoted to ideas/questions about the story.

Why?
This isn't a community story where we want to avoid annoying interruptions in the flow of storyline, so why not let the story threads be the suggestion threads too?

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POV

2nd person singular is indeed popular on the forums but very rarely is seen in print, and it's largely due to the fact that it is pretty tough to write well using it. Might I suggest a 3rd person omniscient narrator? This will allow you to break away for setting the scene plus expose Doomguy's emotional state in a much more vivid light.

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I agree wholeheartedly--third person omniscent gives you a lot of options in terms of description, character development, etc. I'm not really bothered much by second person, though I prefer to write in first.

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...except that 90% of my favorite stories are 3rd person. In fact, I think that The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes is the only book I have written in 1st person. And as for 2nd person books, well, I got rid of my Choose Your Own Adventure books a long time ago. Heh...good times.

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I hate 3rd person stories.

Just curious, why do you hate 3rd person stories?

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And so, because you didn't enjoy a class, the subject of the class is the root problem. And the fact that almost every great work of literature (aside from those fantastic Choose Your Own Adventure novels) was written in 3rd person doesn't make you reconsider at all.

And it's 5 a.m. And I haven't slept in about a day and a half. And I'm irritable. And I'm gonna take it out on you nignugs. Neener friggin neener.

DC

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And it's 5 a.m. And I haven't slept in about a day and a half. And I'm irritable. And I'm gonna take it out on you nignugs. Neener friggin neener.


you too, huh?

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Oh yeah. My school is compacting all of our classes into about three hours later this morning (you know, after the skin cancer in a ball rears its ugly head) so that practically the entire campus can go out and do various community service style activites like disaster relief, that kind of thing. As such, I figured that sleep would be unnecessary. I didn't anticipate that I would take it differently than I did when I was 15...

That, and it's playing hell with my grammar skills.

DC

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Vatican City = Chicago???

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA


Anyway, when/if I write my Doom2 story, the UAC spaceport will be in Casper, Wyoming. Or other such cool place.

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Because in my story, all of "Thy Flesh Consumed" takes place in The Vatican. I mean, where else would you think one of the exits from Hell is? Why, the centre of organized Roman Catholic religion of course!

Chicago, because of it's busy airport.

got it?

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Here's a question for you:
If the UAC were actually founded where do you think it would be built?

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