DO YOU WANT TO GET PAID TO MAKE DOOM MAPS?

It is with great pride I announce my next Doom level set

-= Doominator: The Brandon D Lade Chronicles =-

This mod will entail one boy's journey through the hell of having his parents talk to him about his activity on the internet. The gripping storyline will likely spawn several novels which will become New York Times bestsellers overnight.

It will be made exclusively for GZDoom and have such awesome features as:

• All new graphics (stolen from Quake)
  
• All new sounds (also stolen from Quake)
  
• All new weapons (stolen from Hokuto No Doom)
  
• Breakable Windows
  
• Slopes (not you, Huy)
  
• 3D Sectors
  
• Every Realm667 Beastiary Monster
  
• ACS-scripted messages on screen 95% of the playtime
  
• Colored lighting
  
• and of course everyone's favorite: FOG IN EVERY SECTOR
  

System requirements are expected to range around Quad-core 4GHz CPU with 4Gb RAM and an ATI 6970 videocard.

Now here's the best part: I'M HIRING!

Everyone knows the way to make good games is not to make them yourself (just ask any iPhone developer) so the current positions are currently available with their respective wage per annum:

• ACS Scripter (US$50,000)
  
• Sprite and Grahics editor (US$40,000)
  
• Two Mappers (US$60,000)
  
• Four Playtesters (US$25,000)
  

To apply, simply post your credit card number and expiry date in this thread.

This is a sweet deal. This project is guaranteed to garner fame and fortune for all mappers. In fact, it'll be so good, nobody will ever bother to map again as it will be just unbeatable. Carmack and Romero are known as the guys who created Doom, we'll be known as the team who destroyed it!

I also promise 100% that this mod will win ALL Cacowards in the year of its release. How do I know this? I actually have Scuba Steve and all the other contributors tied up in my basement watching re-runs of "Perfect Strangers" until they agree to my demands.

This is one project not to miss. Apply today!

This is a joke?

That's a low payment for such efford.
I would create/edit your sprites and graphics for noless than 2000€ (approx 2600$) each month.

And programming and mapping will cost you even much more.









































Anyway, good April Fools. ;-P

ARE YOU SERIUOS???

COUNT ME IN!

I take one of the mapper spots and all four playtester spots.

I wouldn't even get out of bed for $60,000. :P


Heh, I hadn't even got past the title before I realised the purpose of this post. ;)

oh boy do I ever

Always wanted to be a script writer. One question - is ACS a bitmap or scalable font?

<mugs Darkreaver for the playtester spots>

I can do some ACS. My credit card number is 48576-9816273-8736 and the expiry date is Dec 21, 2012.

chopkinsca said:

the expiry date is Dec 21, 2012.

lol, at least you don't have to bother getting a new card when this one runs out! :D

Just a split second after midnight this thread would be completely authentic, so jokes on you!

lul!

Don't have a credit card but my social security number is (never mind I feel bad for the poor guy).

I think the idea of paying others to work on a WAD is awesome and something I'll consider in the future. I'm no good at mapping so I voted No, though.

Super Jamie said:

and of course everyone's favorite: FOG IN EVERY SECTOR

WAD OF THE YEAR
ALL YEARS

as soon as I saw all the "stolen from quake" parts and the "uses every realm667 bestiary monster" bit, I knew it was fake, but you had me there for a second. Good one!

Goddammit, Bloodshedder! Why did you have to go and ban CJwright? He would have been perfect for this.

EDIT: Anyway, I'm up for playtester.

I was thinking of doing an april fools joke by bumping a bunch of threads,didn't want to take the risk of getting banned

Nice one jamie

Super Jamie, before you start asking for help on your new mega-cool-and-whatnot project, make sure you have something to show first (screenshots, map downloads, etc). Keep in mind we've already seen thousands of upcoming projects that actually never got done.

Lol how I wish this was real.

If you pay me in Euros, then we'll start talking!

I chuckled massively. Thank you, Super Jamie.

yea good joke man :p

Throw in a steady supply of donuts for me to eat while I map and I'm in.

JAMIE I FELL FOR IT. NOT GOING TO PLAY YOUR WAD.

I thought you were serious lol... Nice one...

Sign me up, but only if you can assure me that it'll receive at least four stars in the idgames ratings.

CODOR said:

Sign me up, but only if you can assure me that it'll receive at least four stars in the idgames ratings.

Bloodshedder is now in the basement watching "Perfect Strangers" with the others. Larry and Jenny have just bought their new house and moved in with Balki and Mary-Anne. I've set them all up with eye-opening hooks like in A Clockwork Orange. The screams are truly horrifying.



Anyway, with BS down there we can re-code the idgames voting system. Five stars on every vote it is!

Happy April Fools Day, Doomworld :)

Super Jamie said:

BS

You got that right...

JK JK DON'T BAN ME

Super Jamie said:
The screams are truly horrifying.

So horrifying... that we will do the Dance Of Joy!!!!

Enjay said:

I wouldn't even get out of bed for $60,000. :P


Heh, I hadn't even got past the title before I realised the purpose of this post. ;)

I dunno, with the way the pound is heading, you could keep them stashed under your bed and in a few years you'll be able to buy the UK and everything in it. ;)

Super Jamie said:

"Perfect Strangers"

I liked that series, "The Love Boat" and "Fantasy Island" - OTOH - are bound to contravene one or more of the Geneva Conventions.

@DuckReconMajor - as acting unpaid HR Consultant for the project I can see a possible role for you as the team's artistic muse, depending on how well you fill out a slinky evening gown.

So... is the deal off, or what?

As much as I love you guys, if I had $300,000 I wouldn't give it away to make a jokewad :P