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dobu gabu maru

The DOBUmegawad Club plays: Memento Mori (EVERYTHING IS GOING JUST FINE)

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Posted (edited)

I Catpho DARED to speak to my eternal emperor DOBU, and thus have been EXCISED for my naivete.
 

Spoiler

“Oh Eternal Emperor Dobu, I am nothing compared to thee; I am as a fart in the wind, whose pungent scent is sweetened only by thy presence. I am an unseeing snail that does not understand thing placement as effortlessly and masterfully as thou, and I love claustrophobic, unfair fights—those are definitely the best, please make more maps with barons in hallways that are 64-units wide.”

I have waited years for this.... Its finally official!

What is the reward for my espionage master?

“I am but a pebble compared to the glittering diamond that is Dobu, the best mapper ever! Carmack designed Doom specifically for Dobu, knowing he would one day grace it with ingenious puzzles!”

 

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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3 minutes ago, Catpho said:

What is the reward for my espionage master?

 

Peon! Did I say you could speak to me?

 

BEGONE! I BAN YOU FROM THE CLUB!

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Posted (edited)

I Spectre01, think I know what wads the GLORIOUS DOBUCLUB has or hasn't played, and therefore have been EXCISED for my arrogance.

 

Spoiler

But the club already played Memento Mori. It's MM2 that's still up for grabs.

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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2 minutes ago, Spectre01 said:

But the club already played Memento Mori. It's MM2 that's still up for grabs.

 

How DARE you question the wad I chose? The AUDACITY! The COCKINESS!

 

BEGONE! I BAN YOU FROM THE CLUB!

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Posted (edited)

I Cynical, am a COWARD that futilely attacks our ETERNAL EMPEROR with empty words, and have therefore been EXCISED for my impotent wrath.

 

Spoiler

 

Wow, DGM found the only wad that's almost as bad as his maps!  I'm sure he'll blunder his way through map 01 on HNTR and eventually scum his way through with saves.  The PinchyMegawadClub is so much better.

 

;-)

 

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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Posted (edited)

I Pinchy, will definitely NOT start the PINCHYmegawad Club, and because I even DARED to think it, have been EXCISED for wrongthink.

 

Spoiler

nW9lNmu.png

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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Posted (edited)

I bioshockfan90, cannot write out a grammatically correct sentence, and have therefore been EXCISED for my ignorance.

 

Spoiler

 

you have infinite gay 

 

>:C

 

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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Posted (edited)

I Nine Inch Heels, while correct in commenting on our Eternal Emperor's cuteness, erroneously believe platforming is a good thing, and have therefore been EXCISED for my awful opinion.

 

Spoiler

 

Oh my... Dobu is cute when he tries being dominant. :p

 

MM is not a bad pick, however:

1 hour ago, dobu gabu maru said:

I love claustrophobic, unfair fights—those are definitely the best, please make more maps with barons in hallways that are 64-units wide.

Platforming with reverse-drop-shots > Hallway Barons any day

 

Claustrophobic fights are cool tho...

 

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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Posted (edited)

I galileo31dos01, do not understand what is going on, and have therefore been EXCISED for my confusion.

 

Spoiler

Eh?

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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Posted (edited)

I Zulk RS, have been enjoying snacks without offering to share some with our ETERNAL EMPEROR, and thus have been EXCISED for my rudeness.

 

Spoiler

Don't mind me, I'm just here enjoying popcorn and definitely not thinking about checking out this PINCHYmegawad Club.

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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Posted (edited)

I NoisyVelvet, while correctly pointing out the flaws of democracy, DARED to suggest people "bailed" out of the DWMC. I realize now people do not bail out of it, because the DWMC is super successful, and no topic Dobu makes ever becomes unpopular. I have been EXCISED for being the most wrong person on Doomworld to ever post.

 

Spoiler

Good thinking Dobu.  Last time you gave democracy, they voted for Eternal Slumber Party and everyone bailed because of silly things like "life" and "time".

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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Posted (edited)

I tmorrow, DARED to utter the word "veto" when I am but a small slug, subsisting off naught but dirt and rainfall. I realize now I have no power to even QUESTION these magnanimous decrees, and have therefore been EXCISED for my powerlessness.

 

Spoiler

I'd like to exercise a veto against decrees #1-4 but as one of the ignorant masses I'm sure my objections will not hold sway with the Eternal Emperor. What do I have to do to get into the that elite WALL OF TREASONOUS LIARS group anyway, what a great bunch of guys!

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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Posted (edited)

I would like to say that in SPITE of all these lowborn COWARDS mucking up my excellent thread with their verbal FILTH, that Club participation is the best it's ever been! Member engagement has drastically increased and the happiness of all active (non-banned) Club members is up 100%! Clearly things would not be going so well if our ETERNAL EMPEROR Dobu wasn't in charge! So less questioning, and more playing!

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Posted (edited)

I cannonball, have made the most EGREGIOUS sin of DISPARAGING the most beautiful, most holy, most resplendent texture of METAL2! For that I deserve the harshest crime imaginable—I am not only EXCISED from the DOBUmegawad Club, but I am EXILED off to the MINES OF SATURN X, where I will work on EPISODE 3 until the END OF DAYS, never to see its release despite all the work I carry out! Oh woe was I! How terribly foolhardy I was! Make not the same mistake I did! Praise be to SUPPORT3! Praise be to METAL2 & 3 & 4 & 5 & 6 & 7!

 

Spoiler


First post in a dmwc thread in a long time and it is has finally happened. Alas if only I did something instead of abstaining for months on end... then maybe nothing different would have happened.

Well I guess having dobu as a tyranical overload would still probably be better than any governing figure in the UK at the moment.

So.....

Map01 - The Teleporter by Not Dobu

You know what is lacking today in doom? Shotgunner abuse, and maps where you are not guaranteed to get 100% kills due to a rather ingenius design decision like closing a teleporter as part of the aim of the map before all the monsters warp in. Dobu would never do this, and he is publically shamed for this. I also like the 3 demons in the exit room, I mean what would people feel if the exit room was completely empty? We need more doors of flesh in our maps today!!!

Also props for the lack of metal textures in this map, those stock metal2 (etc etc) textures are way overused. Gold star, would play again unlike Iron exuviae.

 

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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Posted (edited)

I CWolf, have referred to the benevolent, amazing, and just rule of Dobu as a "plague", and am therefore EXCISED for my careless choice of words.

 

Spoiler

And when I was hoping this forum will not be infected by this plague... well, best ones dying first.

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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Posted (edited)

I xvertigox, have not only mentioned the name of the VILE TRAITOR, but have posted a picture of "Pinchy the Lobster" from The Simpsons, a show which has fallen into such harsh decline that remembering its splendor of old WOUNDS me. I have therefore been EXCISED for my tactlessness.

 

Spoiler

 

pinchyclub#1

Pinchyy.png.21e5cab27b62ac4c87ae7fcb4e0e2c96.png

 

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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Posted (edited)

I Yugiboy85, am a sick, SICK man—I delight in reminding Dobu that he spent two hours meticulously designing beautiful stairs that people will just run down. I will not only be EXCISED for my cruelty, but I will repent by using a stairmaster for the REST OF MY LIFE, never reaching the top, but always climbing, thinking for all my days about how hard our ETERNAL EMPEROR spent designing those gorgeous steps.

Spoiler

 

I know what can defeat the "almighty" dobu though. 

Here you go: 

 

5ac08e0bc7dd5_Eschers_Relativity.jpg.552e7bf5889f9aee340c63fa117b84a4.jpg

 

I just know how much he LOVES stairs. 

 

The downfall of dobu has begun, lock him in a room an make him STAIR at stairs !!! 

 

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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Posted (edited)

I Poncho, have revealed myself to be Dobu's match (and more than a feckless CONTRARIAN like Dobu himself) whose best delight is to speak in absolute TRUTHS. I've therefore been ACCEPTED for my relentless pointing-out of everything good and true.

Spoiler

 

Oh NORMAL Individual Dobu, I am EVERYTHING compared to thee; I am as a ROSE in the field, whose AMAZING scent is WAY BETTER THAN YOURS, I'M SURE. I am an all-seeing LORD that understands MANY THINGS SUCH AS masterful thing placement, and I love agoraphobic, fair-and-balanced fights—those are definitely the best, please make more maps with a thousand Imps in a 3000x3000 sector!

 

Spoiler

Map01: The Teleporter

Pfft! Who needs the fucking Given when you've got this masterpiece of level design!?

Spoiler

I can say with the utmost certainty that Dobu will play like absolute shite, not just on this map, but on the 31 following maps. Christ, he truly is an incompetent Doom playe - in fact, Doom PERSON in general. Come now, Dobu, mid-level saving on Map01 is embarrassing, mate.

Spoiler

I am a glittering diamond compared to that pebble known as Dobu, the single worst mapper ever! Carmack designed Doom specifically for people like Skillsaw, not shitheads like Dobu, knowing he would one day stain the game's legacy with boring puzzles!

Yeah, Dobu, how do you like DEM apples!?

 

 

Edited by Poncho

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Posted (edited)

I DiEnd, have tried maintaining a conversation with someone who has been BANNED from this awesome (and very successful) thread, and therefore have been EXCISED for my foolish betrayal.

Spoiler


55 minutes ago, CWolf said:

Я ракующий эчпочмак использующий драконий дилдо как оружие убийства тайских столетних горбатых шлюх. Что? Если Антаресу можно на корейском писать, мне нельзя на русском?

Теперь это русский тред. Да благословит тебя дирижабль Киров.

 

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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Posted (edited)

I, Suitepee, am not being BANNED for merely suggesting that Dobu's fame has gone to his head (which it has not, clearly, I mean come on, I've always been a FLAWLESS mapper), but because I refuse to acknowledge that revenants are an AMAZING and VERY VERY FAIR monster. I am therefore righteously EXCISED for wrongly disliking the SECOND BEST MONSTER IN DOOM.

 

Spoiler

So you win a Cacoward for one of your maps, and this is what happens eh?

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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Posted (edited)

I Liberation, have revealed myself to be an ACOLYTE of the FALSE KING PINCHY, and therefore will be EXCISED for my treason.

 

Spoiler

Death to the false Emperor!

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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Posted (edited)

I, Eris Falling, reveal myself to be a TRAITOR to Dobu's immaculate empire, by spamming nonsense in a pitiful attempt to rebel against a perfect, harmonious, and just rule. I am therefore EXCISED for my crass and nonsensical language.

 

Spoiler

 

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

suck cocks

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I curse you all to fire in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

 

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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Posted (edited)

I Agent6, referred to our eminence as "emperor Dobu" instead of "ETERNAL emperor Dobu", and thereby GROSSLY disrespecting him. I am therefore EXCISED for my crass manner.

 

Spoiler

 

What's with this blasphemy and rebellion against the one true emperor Dobu?

 

Spoiler

xdd.


 

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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Posted (edited)

I SOSU, did not spell "what" correctly, and the last thing we need are more uncultured NEANDERTHALS in our GLORIOUS kingdom. I am therefore EXCISED for my juvenile spelling skills.

 

Spoiler

WAT :V

MDWMCGA.jpg

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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Posted (edited)

I Obsidian, am posting FABRICATIONS made to PARODY our great and glorious leader! He has never said any of these words; this is obviously FAKE NEWS! I am therefore EXCISED for being part of the LAME STREAM MEDIA!

Spoiler

MDWMCGA.jpg.87e27df7d933c9ad82cf10ae4ed80a98.jpg

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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Posted (edited)

I gaspe, am posting pictures of WIZARDS AND WITCHES in order to CONFUSE AND FRIGHTEN the masses, and have therefore been EXCISED for my blatant terror tactics.
 

Spoiler

 

I gaspe, have to inform you that the true titlepic of the wad is this one...

Spoiler

35436537536.jpg.06d0f66bd84f9779eb4e7409fb6d5f9a.jpg


 

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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Posted (edited)

I Doomkid, while correctly laying prone and reciting the holy—and totally humble—incantation, have erroneously pronounced "DOH-BOO" as "DAH-BOO". Who is this "Dah-bu", pray tell? Why do I DARE worshiping him and not the most excellent and better-pronounced "DOH-BOO?"? Don't I realize how BLASPHEMOUS this is? For that reason, I have been EXCISED for my heresy.

 

Spoiler

 

Oh Eternal Emperor Dobu, I am nothing compared to thee; I am as a fart in the wind, whose pungent scent is sweetened only by thy presence. I am an unseeing snail that does not understand thing placement as effortlessly and masterfully as thou, and I love claustrophobic, unfair fights—those are definitely the best, please make more maps with barons in hallways that are 64-units wide.

 


 

 

Edited by dobu gabu maru

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