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⇛Marnetmar⇛

How are you doing?

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Oh boy, its an absolute roller-coaster ride. One minute I'm absolutely euphoric, the next I want to kill someone. Its insane. I think I'm manic, or bipolar or some shit. Or maybe I'm just moody lol.

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Well, I was supposed to pay a voice actor (Specifically, Pat M Seymour, the voice of Torque in Freedom Planet) $20 for voicing a trailer of mine, and I haven't gotten my weekly paycheck. I'm going to freak out if I don't get paid next week, I really like his voicework and he absolutely nailed what I wanted, and I don't want him to see me as another person who didn't pay him for his work. It doesn't help that shit's hitting the fan back at home (that's all I'm really allowed to say on it, because we still need to get test results). All that and there are SATs next week.

 

MMMMM I SWEAR IM OKAY

 

On the other hand, though, I did get Skyrim on my Switch and it's been really good. It's kept me distracted enough to not have to worry about  literally everything in my life  all this shit going on. Also, fun game.

 

tldr, i guess im doing alright but im also freaking out

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All good. Studies are going well, no problems health-wise, social relationships are all fine.

 

Nothing to complain about.

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And to add to my list of worries, I forgot to sign out of a school computer, and as a result some asshole changed my Google, Facebook, and Twitter passwords. And my dad won't pick up the phone, which is only worst because his email and phone number are the methods that Google uses to send recovery codes. So unless I spam my dad with phone calls I am probably fucked.

 

EDIT: APPARENTLY IT WAS MY DAD THAT DID IT BECAUSE I WAS FINISHED WITH AN ASSIGNMENT IN HISTORY

Edited by Pyrolex

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6 hours ago, mrthejoshmon said:

I want to die, unironically

Everything is ok.

Are you? This is worrying.

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This week I got a few assignments due, and two days ago I got a new keyboard because I destroyed my older one.

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I am gainfully employed and reasonably happy, that's enough to consider my current situation "good" at the very least. Still single, occasionally miss my ex-wife, got back problems and have some pain a result. Nothing major though, certainly not enough to stop me from being happy and getting done what I want to get done.

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At the moment I am kinda freaking out bc I fucked up and didn't study enough for this exam. I am kinda slowly accepting I would fail, and I am revising the material, ya know, just in case. Guess one part of me doesn't ever want to give up.

 

Other than that, if it weren't for this exam, I would gladly tell you I feel absolutely fine. Unironically fine. Like, everything is going the way it should. I have dealt with some trivial subjects at college, and I am getting ready for this set of exams, which starts with today's... well.

 

Yeah. Other other than that, I feel healthy, I am warm and fed properly, cannot complain without starting drama. Yall know that is a good sign :)

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Reconnected with a gal I've been in love with for two years, and it feels like it's still never gonna happen between us even though she hangs out with me one on one and gets something from me she doesn't get from her other friends. I'm getting what I can out of her 'til I move I guess.

 

Seriously considering getting an MFA in creative writing so I have some way to support myself.

 

Been pretty discouraged as a writer since I can't get anyone to give a shit about what I'm doing. Events, giveaways, signings, spinoffs and video game adaptations, podcast appearances, collaborations, critiquies and reviews. Book sales = 0.

 

Kinda sweet on my new manager and wish she wasn't seeing anyone.

 

Other than that, I'm fucking great.

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It's been a week since I had to put my dog down, due to cancer. Still pretty down and pissed about that. After years of getting used to coming home, expecting him to be waiting at the door, running in those happy little ecstatic, confused circles that only dogs can do as soon as a door opens, it's different. 

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Defeated, but hey people have it much worse out there. Two or three specifically.

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For the majority of my life I've been particularly lucky, no major bad things ever really happened to me at any point in my youth and there always seemed to be a pleasant surprise every once in a while.

 

But now in my first year of university Monsieur Mauvais Chance decided to pay my whole family a visit and he's locked Madame Bonne Chance outside in the cold... I honestly don't know how I haven't buckled under the stress yet.

 

But I did just manage to get two copies of the Legend of Zelda: a Link to the Past (SNES & GBA w/ Four Swords) and the Minish Cap, all for $50! So at least there's that! Those things totally cancel out!

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2 hours ago, Jello said:

It's been a week since I had to put my dog down, due to cancer. Still pretty down and pissed about that. After years of getting used to coming home, expecting him to be waiting at the door, running in those happy little ecstatic, confused circles that only dogs can do as soon as a door opens, it's different. 

Over time the edges of that hole in your chest heal up, and instead of making you feel like puking when you think of that dog, it'll tickle you and remind you of the fun moments. Put the dog's image on your phone as your new wallpaper. Helped when my pup passed away.

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1 hour ago, Impie said:

Over time the edges of that hole in your chest heal up, and instead of making you feel like puking when you think of that dog, it'll tickle you and remind you of the fun moments. Put the dog's image on your phone as your new wallpaper. Helped when my pup passed away.

Thanks, I have a picture that would be nice, but I'm not read to put it up yet.

 

It sucks losing a dog, as you obviously know. But I appreciate the advice. 

Edited by Jello : Excess bulbbering

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I don't know. I'm somehow still among the living. I somehow found someone that actually loves me. I'm somehow getting through life despite being unemployed with no education higher than high school.

 

Despite all of this, my mental problems make things harder than they need to be. And despite being about 8 years ago now, a close death to me still leaves me feeling burnt. My patience gets thinner with every year that passes.

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