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Hey, Doomworld, I've a question for you.

When you're feeling down or lacking confidence in yourself, what do you do to regain that confidence?

It's no secret that some of us lack self-confidence and are generally pessimistic about our own abilities, so I think this is a thread we should have.

This thread can also serve to help others who've stayed quiet about this issue because of social stigma or whatever other reason they might have.

 

So what do you do?

I found that being able to stand on my own as an independent person did great things for my confidence.

I can remember things I've done before that were difficult, but I persevered.

Sometimes things went downhill, but that's normal, isn't it? Dust yourself off and get back up and running.

I might have a bit of a bruised ego, but I can get myself back on my feet easily enough because I've done it before.

 

I appreciate any answers in advance.

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If you use Facebook, limit your usage or delete your account entirely. Even people you hang out with regularly who you know don't have lives any more exciting than yours can seem untouchable when you only see them only posting a highlight reel of their life:

 

 

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26 minutes ago, Nine Inch Heels said:

I've seen more than one thread of this sort turn into a place people used for "attention whoring" as much as possible.

You are, rather distressingly, correct about this, and I'd rather not see this thread devolve that way (though if it does, we can ask for it to be closed, I figure).

I knew that my initial question asked two separate things, but I was more focused on the subject matter than what I wrote just before it.

I'm glad you took the time to give such a detailed answer, because my help on these matters isn't the best and I'd been trying to help somebody on this very forum with it, which was what brought me to make this thread, because he refused to ask for help (directly, at least).

And you're right about a lack of self-confidence and depression being closely related, but not one and the same, as I can speak from personal experience, and that one can very easily influence the other.

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When you're feeling down or lacking confidence in yourself, what do you do to regain that confidence?

What about the opposite? When you have a LOT of confidence? That can also lead to some problems, you know :)

In any case, never lose your confidence and be moderate about it.

About feeling down....well, I don't have prolonged situations of feeling like shit because I try to counter it quickly....like sleeping or listening to some music that I like...

There are many ways to counter that.

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2 hours ago, Marn said:

If you use Facebook, limit your usage or delete your account entirely. Even people you hang out with regularly who you know don't have lives any more exciting than yours can seem untouchable when you only see them only posting a highlight reel of their life

 

Agreed. More often than not, social media is an avenue where people most like to cherry pick good moments from their life to make it seem like they have everything well in had when, more often than not, they're struggling just the same as the rest of us. Sometimes, those people themselves are caught in a negative feedback look because they saw someone who seems to have it all together so they feel the urge to try and out-do them. Very very unhealthy mindset and it's definitely good advice to say away from that sort of behavior in general. Comparing yourself is 100% a losing battle. Use it as a drive to self-improve instead of self-loathe.

For the record, this is from someone who has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety just a few years ago. They are hard things to fight, yes, but they should not define anyone. Don't let your sickness consume you if you can help it.

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I feel better when reading this, the problems of my family tire me a lot

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I'm lucky to be a generally happy person without much to complain about in life but as @Nine Inch Heels said, everyone gets down very now and then. A few things that I find help are:

  • I find that my low points tend to correspond with periods where I don't exercise as much. This has now been proven to be beneficial to mental health and well being in a variety of ways and I would argue that the mental health benefits are more important the physical health benefits. I also genuinely enjoy picking up heavy things and putting the back in exactly the same place and love that wasted feeling after a workout that tells you that you have done work. Any form of exercise is beneficial so don't get hung up on doing the 'right' type of exercise, find something physical that you like doing. If you don't enjoy it, you will give it up.
  • Music music music. Music in general puts me in a good mood but if I'm feeling down and I can find the right band/song that resonates with me at the time then that helps a whole lot. Feeling melancholy? Chuck on some doom or gothic metal. Angry? I have some death metal that will help. Being weighed down by general malaise? Get charging with some groove metal. Food for the soul
  • Stay the fuck away from social media. Now I understand that this is not a realistic choice for everyone but I have no "social media" accounts. I'm not counting doomworld or twitch because they have an explicit purpose but as far as things like Myfacespacebook/instasnapvine go I have no presence. There is a growing consensus that social media is detrimental to your mental well being. As @Sparktimus said, there is the comparison element. What is portrayed by people on social media is generally in the best light possible (this is particularly true of instagram). That image of the person that you idolise will have hours and hours of effort behind it be with creating the actual photo or the filtering/photoshopping afterwards. If you try to hold this up as some sort of ideal then you are more than likely to fall short without realising that they will have fallen short too. I'm reasonably resistant to this but the thing that keeps me away from general social media is the way opinions are presented. The ability to hide behind a keyboard has unleashed a level of unreasonableness and vitriol that I don't remember seeing 20-25 years ago. People would still have extreme viewpoints but they would be espoused more carefully and around people with the same ideology. It feels like now everyone is more willing to take a more extreme viewpoint than they would otherwise in a face to face conversation. And people seem less likely to consider conflicting opinions or counter evidence online. It is this that keeps me away from unwashed masses of social media as it just makes me too goddamn angry (I get angry quite easily).
  • Find some hobbies that you REALLY enjoy. For me it is skiing and playing the drums (not at the same time). Both activities give me a serious buzz and I walk away feeling awesome afterwards. 

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Step 1. Be kick ass. Care about getting ahead in life.

 

Step 2. If you ever stop being kick ass, remember the old times you kicked ass and you can kick ass again tomorrow.

 

Step 3. Get sleep before the doubts rise up.

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1 hour ago, Bridgeburner56 said:

I'm lucky to be a generally happy person without much to complain about in life but as @Nine Inch Heels said, everyone gets down very now and then. A few things that I find help are:

  • I find that my low points tend to correspond with periods where I don't exercise as much. This has now been proven to be beneficial to mental health and well being in a variety of ways and I would argue that the mental health benefits are more important the physical health benefits. I also genuinely enjoy picking up heavy things and putting the back in exactly the same place and love that wasted feeling after a workout that tells you that you have done work. Any form of exercise is beneficial so don't get hung up on doing the 'right' type of exercise, find something physical that you like doing. If you don't enjoy it, you will give it up.
  • Music music music. Music in general puts me in a good mood but if I'm feeling down and I can find the right band/song that resonates with me at the time then that helps a whole lot. Feeling melancholy? Chuck on some doom or gothic metal. Angry? I have some death metal that will help. Being weighed down by general malaise? Get charging with some groove metal. Food for the soul
  • Stay the fuck away from social media. Now I understand that this is not a realistic choice for everyone but I have no "social media" accounts. I'm not counting doomworld or twitch because they have an explicit purpose but as far as things like Myfacespacebook/instasnapvine go I have no presence. There is a growing consensus that social media is detrimental to your mental well being. As @Sparktimus said, there is the comparison element. What is portrayed by people on social media is generally in the best light possible (this is particularly true of instagram). That image of the person that you idolise will have hours and hours of effort behind it be with creating the actual photo or the filtering/photoshopping afterwards. If you try to hold this up as some sort of ideal then you are more than likely to fall short without realising that they will have fallen short too. I'm reasonably resistant to this but the thing that keeps me away from general social media is the way opinions are presented. The ability to hide behind a keyboard has unleashed a level of unreasonableness and vitriol that I don't remember seeing 20-25 years ago. People would still have extreme viewpoints but they would be espoused more carefully and around people with the same ideology. It feels like now everyone is more willing to take a more extreme viewpoint than they would otherwise in a face to face conversation. And people seem less likely to consider conflicting opinions or counter evidence online. It is this that keeps me away from unwashed masses of social media as it just makes me too goddamn angry (I get angry quite easily).
  • Find some hobbies that you REALLY enjoy. For me it is skiing and playing the drums (not at the same time). Both activities give me a serious buzz and I walk away feeling awesome afterwards. 

I agree with this except social media is just what you personally make it. Some can harness its power for good, while others let it harm them. For me, social media is super important because of two brands I am growing. One of them is "DOOM Modding" btw! (I'll put a link below, *hint hint*). On my personal profile I don't do much, but on the business pages, I am super deep into it! And It's great growing a community and building influence. I feel like cutting off from ALL social media is a bad choice if you are trying to be successful now a days, especially start a small business, because right now the current car on the gravy train is advertising on social media (it's cheap for now because the giants still only advertise on Cable TV). Like I said, it is what you make it. The fact that a lot of people in this community DON'T make use of social media gives me serious advantages for gaining exposure. DOOM Modding FB: https://www.facebook.com/DOOMModding/ (We also have Discord, Twitter, Instagram, and a FB group linked to DM known as "DOOM Repository").

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5 minutes ago, Skrap Productions said:

I agree with this except social media is just what you personally make it. Some can harness its power for good, while others let it harm them. For me, social media is super important because of two brands I am growing. One of them is "DOOM Modding" btw! (I'll put a link below, *hint hint*). On my personal profile I don't do much, but on the business pages, I am super deep into it! And It's great growing a community and building influence. I feel like cutting off from ALL social media is a bad choice if you are trying to be successful now a days, especially start a small business, because right now the current car on the gravy train is advertising on social media (it's cheap for now because the giants still only advertise on Cable TV). Like I said, it is what you make it. The fact that a lot of people in this community DON'T make use of social media gives me serious advantages for gaining exposure. DOOM Modding FB: https://www.facebook.com/DOOMModding/ (We also have Discord, Twitter, Instagram, and a FB group linked to DM known as "DOOM Repository").

I do actually agree with you on the potential for good/usefullness out of social media. My wife uses it for her business all the time (she's essentially a personal traning specialising in mums with babies/kids). I do feel that as far as personal interactions go that the potential for bad outweighs the potential for good but that's just my view on it. Social media should be taken with a very large grain of salt in all cases though. Being generally skeptical of the internet is a good base line

 

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I use Twitter, Youtube, and Twitch, all of which I currently (or will) use for Doom modding and maybe a little personal on the side.

I don't usually mind the discussion, as long as we can stay on the subject matter at hand.

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10 minutes ago, Bridgeburner56 said:

I do actually agree with you on the potential for good/usefullness out of social media. My wife uses it for her business all the time (she's essentially a personal traning specialising in mums with babies/kids). I do feel that as far as personal interactions go that the potential for bad outweighs the potential for good but that's just my view on it. Social media should be taken with a very large grain of salt in all cases though. Being generally skeptical of the internet is a good base line

 

 

2 minutes ago, Aquila Chrysaetos said:

I use Twitter, Youtube, and Twitch, all of which I currently (or will) use for Doom modding and maybe a little personal on the side.

I don't usually mind the discussion, as long as we can stay on the subject matter at hand.

I'm in agreement with both of you. Good points.

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When it comes to my music, I generally think it's always garbage. Then I remember that I'm my own worst critic, and usually the stuff I expect to bomb ends up being some of my more popular stuff.

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When i feel like shit, the first thing i do is remind myself that this is something wich happens to everyone and eventually i'll get over it, it tends to greatly lessen the impact and duration. If that doesn't work, i take a long walk, take a cold shower, listen to some music while trying to zone out for a while, play videogames, draw something, meditate in silence about positive aspects of my life, or try to come up with future projects and try to gather motivation for something that might never finish but still helps build some fake excitement, and when all fails, talk about it with my friends and familly.

 

About low selfsteem wich is a whole different world from feeling down or stereotypical depression (ie: sadness mixed with mental and phisical fatigue), as someone who was diagnosed with anxiety since 10, i would say that taking life less serious, and realizing that nothing matters, everyone has their ups and downs, people are deep down similar to everyone else, finishing whatever project you deem important enough and doing excercise, hepled in greatly diminishing that issue.

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On the note of more serious issues, I had a friend who ended up with full blown clinical depression. He liked his life, had a good job that he enjoyed, wife, kids, fun hobbies (I was in a band with him) but he got to the point where he couldn't get out of bed in the mornings and was heading to full blown alcoholism. Fairly typical depression symptoms but still messing him up good and proper. He ended up moving to a different city with his Dad (short term) to try and figure out what was causing it. Turns out it was the quit smoking drug he was taking (it was a known side effect of the drug he was using Champax). As soon as he stopped taking that he bounced back super quick and then went cold turkey on the smoking and hasn't looked back since. Which is good because it sucked to see him sliding gradually into the abyss without being able to haul him back.

 

Point of the story is if you are at a particularly low ebb, check the medication that you are taking. Pretty much everything has side effects and you never know how different drugs can interact with each other.

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Ok now I'm gonna be bashed for my armchair psychoanalysis again but I found this to help me immensely #LIFEHACKS #h8rsgonnah8

 

1. Pretend you're confident

2. Look straight ahead when walking

3. Yeah you heard #2 right it works

4. Never let yourself engage in a dialogue with yourself

5. NSFW

Stop jacking off you pervert asshead. Delete that goddamn 3 tb one piece hentai folder of yours. Like right now, shift+delete. Trust me, if you make a week without strangling your python, you'll feel a lot better about yourself. Like, for real.

 

6. Take notes of how do confident people behave and mimic that

7. Do outgoing stuff such as talking and socialising even if you don't want to, squeeze that shit out of yourself 

8. Do some physical stuff. Even 5 pushups a day in your room will do ffs 

9. Stop engaging in any kind of self deprecating behaviour, even jokingly. It's all in your head

10. Don't say stupid edgy shit like "my life sucks I wanna die boohoo i hate people" you're a grown ass man person ffs we live in a society 💯 

11. If you have social anxiety or whatever, stop perceiving that shit as an excuse because it's not, nobody gives a damn about your anxiety in the real world, you have to fight 

12. Take chances

13. Don't listen to random smart ass dickheads online who think they know everything (I know right?) 

14. Actually stop hanging around on the internet whatsoever. None of us here are actual people ffs you aren't gaining anything out of this

15. Convince yourself that you aren't any worse than anyone else out there, because you're not. One day it will fully sink in and you'll wake up enlightened like you're the goddamn second coming of Buddha. 

 

Obviously all of the above applies only to the dudes who simply have the wrong mindset. If you're real-shit depressed or traumatised then check my #13 and see a therapist FFS that isn't that hard to grasp

good luck I love you alllllllllll

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19 minutes ago, bzzrak said:

good luck I love you alllllllllll

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

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9 hours ago, Skrap Productions said:

I agree with this except social media is just what you personally make it.

Um...to me, social media is just an added component but, life experiences is what make me how I am. And jobs made me even more confident and wiser.

Edited by leodoom85

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39 minutes ago, leodoom85 said:

Um...to me, social media is just an added component but, life experiences is what make me how I am. And jobs made me even more confident and wiser.

I dig it.

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1 hour ago, bzzrak said:

1. Pretend you're confident

2. Look straight ahead when walking

3. Yeah you heard #2 right it works

4. Never let yourself engage in a dialogue with yourself

5. NSFW

Citation needed. The only one I agree with here for sure is number 2.

 

1 hour ago, bzzrak said:

If you're real-shit depressed or traumatised then check my #13 and see a therapist FFS that isn't that hard to grasp

This is the absolute wrong way to talk to someone who's actually depressed because this comes across as extremely accusatory, which achieves only regression. A warm, helpful demeanor is infinitely more useful than "see a therapist FFS."

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2 separate things:

1 - Feeling down

Well i guess that depends on how, i usually don't do anything to help myself, when i feel down because of some kind of event then i get crushed by it. Sometimes, though, i solve it, and it's by going out, taking some fresh air, talking to my friends (and not about what happened). When i feel down because of an unknown and endless flow of thoughts i need to stop thinking, one way is by listening to some music, when it does not work then a fantasy wank will do the job.

 

2 - Self-Confidence

How much does it matter? And why? But let's assume it's important, well the only way to find an exit is to open ourselves, anacronistic yea but there's no way to gain confidence all by ourselves. The more you hide the more doubts you get and it becomes harder and harder, like a cock under viagra face to face with Valentina Nappi.

I have an example of a friend who was feeling down and he felt he was out of place in this world, he never talked to anybody about the problem, he just wrote about it, to himself, and in the end he committed suicide. I Have many problems but i talk, i always do, even getting stigmas here and there since i live in a small city, but i don't care as long as i survive. So yeah to talk is the best solution.

Also a therapist is always a good idea in my personal opionion, but not because he/she gives you concrete solutions, but just because you can TALK to him/her.

 

 

 

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Always remember that "You" are the main character in your life. So stop comparing yourself to others right away! 

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3 hours ago, bzzrak said:

Ok now I'm gonna be bashed for my armchair psychoanalysis again but I found this to help me immensely #LIFEHACKS #h8rsgonnah8

90% of this isn't actually good advice and can be summed up mostly with "Get over it" which will never ever work with someone who is actually suffering from these issues. Don't wanna make a huge wall of text over this, so I'll use tasteful bullet points instead :P
 

  • Pretending to be confident isn't a bad strategy if you can keep it up long enough, but most people with these issues will automatically find something that reminds them of exactly what they're doing and the facade will be broken in an instant, usually leaving them feeling worse. This is most definitely not a solution that will work for everyone
     
  • Having a dialogue with yourself doesn't always have to be a bad thing. Introspection, healthy introspection, is a key component to doing some much needed rewiring that can improve things for you.
     
  • It's not always a good idea to simply mimic those who appear to have confidence because not all of them can discern confidence from arrogance. There are those that think that being confident means being a self-righteous douche-nozzle that needs to put down those around him to cover up their actual lack of confidence. This can also be a side effect of faking confidence.
     
  • While I do agree that self-deprecation is pretty much a bad practice all around, you need to understand that people who suffer from actual depression and anxiety use that as a grounding mechanism to make sure they still "know their place". It's not healthy to do that at all, but it's a reaction that is almost automatic. Also, saying shit like "no one gives a shit about your anxiety" is 100% not the way to handle someone who actually suffers from it. This is something the person suffering with it already thinks more often than not and reinforcing it is only going to make things worse. Anyone who's lived with it can tell you that it makes even the simplest tasks very hard to do. What's just normal shit to you is a daily obstacle for someone who suffers from it, no matter how easy you think it is to actually overcome.
     
  • The perception that the Internet and the people on it aren't real or worth engaging in is archaic and honestly needs to die. This isn't the 80s/90s any more, and most of the population are connected by it. I know I sorta lampooned social media for it being a factor in contributing to a negative feedback loop, but I was only really referring to the people who blatantly use it for such a means to appear like their life is perfect. Otherwise, the Internet in general has actually helped me quite a lot with easing into real life interactions. Sure, they're pretty different, but you're still doing the same thing as you would do in an online chat. I don't get the notion that you need to be physically close enough to touch someone to be their friend or to talk to them meaningfully. I treat my real friends just as well as I treat my online friends, and they're pretty much on equal ground for me. Distance has a very small thing to do with it, and you shouldn't let that alone dictate how decent of a person you should be to someone. That's bunk. Plain and simple.
     
  • Comparing your life to someone else's, like I've been saying before, is not a healthy way to actually get a grasp on how to fix things. It will almost always lead to the same thing. Even if you try to look at someone who does have it worse off. "My life is better than this person's and I STILL feel like shit?" is what's going to come of all that. Yes, it could always be worse. Yes, there are people who are starving to death and literally waiting to die. As cold as it sounds however, you aren't them and your circumstances aren't even close. These problems are still real problems and should be treated as such, regardless how much worse some people have it. Never ever let anyone tell you that your problems don't matter in lieu of this because that's just an exercise in victim blaming and it needs to fucking end.
     
  • Lastly, a therapist is a good resource to have for sure, but A. Not everyone has access to a therapist, and B. A therapist absolutely doesn't fix all of your problems. Depression and anxiety are literally mental illnesses that don't really have a concrete "cure". A therapist's job is to help someone understand where those problems may be coming from and what is actually contributing to them so you can ascertain the steps you need to take to get some peace of mind. Yes, there are such things as anti-depressants and anti-anxiety, but they aren't one size fits all and some people have to take them for the rest of their life just to stay on the straight and narrow. They don't cure anyone's depression or anxiety. Rather, it keeps it at bay before it can get too bad.


The main take-away from this is that there will never be a quick fix to this or a solution that works for absolutely everybody. Everyone's different. Everyone is wired in a specific way that makes them completely unique from everyone else. Even the people who feel completely "normal" have different things that make them tick. The practice of treating these mental and emotional issues as something that can just be easily fixed with one change or turned off somehow is something else that needs to end. All it does is make those who are afflicted with it feel worse about having it if it's such an easy thing to grasp. I'm not one of those people who thinks that doing nothing but sitting on your ass about it will make it magically go away either. People do need to actually get up and do something about it instead of expecting things to get better, I agree. But people need to understand just how difficult doing just about anything can be to people who suffer with this. There are some days where it takes a monumental effort for me to simply get out of bed. The last thing I need it someone telling me that I'm not trying hard enough or that I'm just using it as an excuse to get attention. That doesn't help. None of that helps. It should be kind of obvious that an inflammatory attitude towards someone who is already quite inflammatory towards themselves probably is going to complicate matters.

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10 minutes ago, fraggle said:

Self respect breeds self confidence. Stop disrespecting yourself, and don't allow others to disrespect you.

I honestly believe this is the best advice we've heard yet, and we've heard lots of really good advice here.

Respect yourself and you will earn others' respect.

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Posted (edited)

What I do? Whenever I'm in any situation that needs confidence I don't have, I drop it, go home, turn up the music and play Doom.

 

EDIT: And don't give me the "You clearly haven't gone through..." argument, as I probably have too, and my methods work for myself.

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4 hours ago, Sparktimus said:

Having a dialogue with yourself doesn't always have to be a bad thing. Introspection, healthy introspection, is a key component to doing some much needed rewiring that can improve things for you.

You pretty much answered your own question here. If you're struggling with all this stuff then your introspection is very unlikely to be HEALTHY. Therefore you should probably cut off your inner voice, since it's not gonna say anything useful. Once you get to a point where your inner voice IS HEALTHY, yeah, go wild.

 

4 hours ago, Sparktimus said:

retending to be confident isn't a bad strategy etc etc 

OK, so this is how it worked out for me: I pretended and pretended until I really became what I was pretending to be and I didn't have to pretend anymore. 

 

4 hours ago, Sparktimus said:

While I do agree that self-deprecation is pretty much a bad practice all around

Yeah man I know people do it automatically as a defence mechanism or whatever.

The thing is, that stuff often "bleeds into" your IRL interactions and stuff and greatly affects how people perceive you, which makes your self-perception even worse. The thing is, it is possible to consciously limit that self-deprecation to some degree. The thing is, the thing is, the thing is, if you manage to keep it within yourself for a while, people will perceive you in a different way, consequently you will perceive yourself in a different way and VOILA no self-deprecation, neither inside nor outside of you.

 

4 hours ago, Sparktimus said:

The perception that the Internet and the people on it aren't real or worth engaging in is archaic and honestly needs to die.

I don't know man... tHe tHiNg iS, real life is real life. It's where your life plays out. That's where real stuff happen. While this whole online thing... nothing happens here. None of all this exists. Bzzrak and Sparktimus aren't real people. We're just... aspects, segments of a real person, if that makes any sense. And if you devote too much attention to it, you get to interact with mere segments, not "full" people. You feel me? Nah, me neither really.

 

5 hours ago, Sparktimus said:

Never ever let anyone tell you that your problems don't matter in lieu of this because that's just an exercise in victim blaming and it needs to fucking end.

I agree. What I'm saying is that you should tell yourself that your problems don't matter and that they shouldn't hinder you in any way. Because it's not a problem unless you think it is. It's all in your, and nobody else's, head.

 

5 hours ago, Sparktimus said:

Everyone's different.

Obviously! That's why my post begins "I found this to help me immensely". You know, that's my successssss story. For you it might be different, but it might be similar as well. I might be a dickhead from Doomworld who doesn't have a clue about real life, but I might also be an enlightment... or something.

 

5 hours ago, Sparktimus said:

The last thing I need it someone telling me that I'm not trying hard enough or that I'm just using it as an excuse to get attention.

Dude dude dude I get you! Ofc you don't need someone's grumpy ass telling you that! You need yourself telling you that! This is an one-man battle, you know? You can win only if you truly want to win. You need to make yourself get off your ass.

 

 

IN CONCLUSION holy crap dude you totally make sense! Like, you do!!! But I was struggling with this shit myself, like really struggling, and I like to think that I'm pretty much over it at this point. And I know how I did it! You know? I did it! Dude I did it! Yeah man! Hahaha this is so great!

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Gaining confidence is not easy at all. I also lack quite some confidence, but I noticed that several things helped me to get mostly over it:

 

1 - Find something (hobby) you actually like and are good at. Get better at it and do it often, because usually it makes you happy and your increasing skills will make you feel a tad more confident. Although, the internet does not really help in this regard. As the saying goes: "Roses are red, violets are blue, there is always an asian better than you!". You may start things and notice that they have been done better by someone else. You will most likely never be the best in the world. If you can accept that and just be happy with what you achieved, then you can still be (and should be) proud of your achievements.
 

2 - If you found something you are good at, then actually also tell people about it. Which doesn't mean running around screaming: "I am good at Doom mapping!" (although that'd be rather cool of course) but not actually downplaying what you do and how you do it. If you tell other people, that you have this hobby, but "you are not good at it and it's just a small hobby" they will - of course - take your word for it. But show them what you do and do it with a modest amount of confidence and almost everybody will be amazed by what you do.

 

3 - In a workplace situation - where confidence sadly is quite critical to a career - I noticed that the only thing that counts is "fake it, till you make it" (it may differ from company to company of course). Just act a bit more confident and always bear in mind that everybody else is probably doing the same thing. That annoying coworker who is so successful and seems to get everything right? Yeah, he's probably not perfect either and wondering at home, when people will realize, that he's just winging it. Same actually goes with Social Media, as many have previously noted in this thread. No matter how perfect someone's life looks, in most cases, it's of course not perfect and everybody has his problems, ups and downs, etc.

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