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BChricton78

Sooo... Nostalgia Critic's "review" of the Doom movie.

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Posted (edited)

Look. The Doom movie is a bad film. It barely resembles the games (Notably Doom 3, the game it takes its cues from), the writing comes off as a cliched zombie movie with a nonsensical plot device (the 24th Chromosome), the effects are bad, some of the characters are unlikable (Notably Portman, the film's attempt at an Unpopular Popular Character), and it can get pretty slow. But it is perfect for reviewing. There are plenty of moments to critique about it, such as the scene where John Grimm (the movie's resident Doomguy) and Goat send a Zombieman flying into the set, causing it to collapse on-camera. 

 

So naturally, what does Doug Walker/The Nostalgia Critic do with it? I'll tell you.

Right from the word "Go", he forgets about the rest of the series from Doom II onwards, and acts as if the film was based on The Ultimate Doom. This act comes into play A LOT during the video, notably his complaining about how the movie is "action-less" and "too dark to see", and more notably when he states that Marcus Penzerowski's mutant form is meant to be the Pinkie Demon from Ultimate Doom, and that the same Pinkies are similar to/clones of Marcus... Even though Marcus's mutant form is clearly based on how the Pinkie appears in DOOM 3.

 

Making matters worse (Yes, it gets worse), Doug makes several OTHER transgressions to both the fans of the games and YOU, the viewer. Namely, He ignores critical, plot relevant scenes (such as Portman trying to call for backup under the guise of taking a dump, a Mutant Knight taking out Marcus so he can get mutated, and Grimm trying to find Sam in The First-Person scene) and the film's redeeming qualities (Namely the acting and some of the action scenes), in favour of stupid, unfunny and sometimes tasteless gags that only a Racist COD player will find funny, such as a sketch of characters playing "Doom: The Movie: The Game" (which doubles as an unintentional dig at the more horror-focused entries in the series, notably DOOM 3!), a Donkey Kong 64 reference (even though DK64 has NOTHING to do with Doom aside from being a game), a stupid gag where he misinteprets the witty banter between Sam and John as "Sibling bickering" and throughout the video proceeds to imitate Sam as someone who needlessly hurls profanity at people for no reason at all, and worst of all, A CHILD ABUSE JOKE!

 

Needless to say, this has to be the worst movie review I've ever seen. It's so bad, it makes the actual movie look like a cakewalk by comparison. It fails as both a "serious, analytical review", and a sketch comedy video. And with a complete lack of knowledge of the games demonstrated, it's an insult to the Doom franchise, and its fans. 

But you don't have to take my word for it. Just see this trainwreck for yourself: 

 

Just don't say I didn't warn you...

Edited by BChricton78

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Doug Walker is a troll and the worst part is he's not even good at it!

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Posted (edited)
48 minutes ago, BChricton78 said:

Needless to say, this has to be the worst movie review I've ever seen. It's so bad, it makes the actual movie look like a cakewalk by comparison. It fails as both a "serious, analytical review", and a sketch comedy video. And with a complete lack of knowledge of the games demonstrated, it's an insult to the Doom franchise, and its fans. 

But you don't have to take my word for it. Click the link and watch it for yourself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcTAqi0T1PY

Just don't say I didn't warn you...

 

At least they got the comedy sketch part a bit funny though!

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NC was quite entertaining when he did quick summaries of movies and picked only the key scenes. Then I guess he figured that longer videos mean more ad revenue, so now he goes through the whole thing almost scene by scene, which is a horrible approach to reviewing things.

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1 hour ago, Maser said:

Doug Walker is a troll and the worst part is he's not even good at it!

Gee... Ya THINK?!

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Just now, Memfis said:

NC was quite entertaining when he did quick summaries of movies and picked only the key scenes. Then I guess he figured that longer videos mean more ad revenue, so now he goes through the whole thing almost scene by scene, which is a horrible approach to reviewing things.

But here, he ignored key scenes, and, regarding that stupid gag where he impersonates Sam Grimm to hurl needless obscenities, It's pretty much him ignoring the infamous 24th chromosome origin for the Demons/Mutants. Y'know, the thing most people remember and criticise about the movie? 

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2 hours ago, Maser said:

Doug Walker is a troll and the worst part is he's not even good at it!

That's not what the word means, at all.

I don't mind racist and child abuse jokes but from what i hear modern Nostalgia Critic sucks.

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3 hours ago, amackert said:

First World Problems.

This if a forum about video games, i.e. about ”First Wold Problems”. So this shouldn't be a surprise. ;-)

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45 minutes ago, elarmadillo3 said:

That's not what the word means, at all.

I don't mind racist and child abuse jokes but from what i hear modern Nostalgia Critic sucks.

Yep. He sure does.

In fact, once you've watched the Doom "review" by Dumbass Critic, why don't you watch a proper review of the movie: 

Notice how KrimsonRogue (Or NPC in this case) has a better knowledge of the game, and is much better when it comes to both the sketches and actual critique.

In other words, it's a proper review. Who'd have thunk it? 

 

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A terrible review for a terrible movie sounds like karma.

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1 hour ago, Manuel-K said:

This if a forum about video games, i.e. about ”First Wold Problems”. So this shouldn't be a surprise. ;-)

That doesn't  make sense. The First World Problems meme is about needlessly complaining and overreacting about trivial issues, like complaining about the WiFi doesn't cover the entire house or apartment. Videogames aren't FWP, they're a form of entertainment, besides nobody in this forum takes videogames too seriously to the point of starting heated debates or flame wars about them.

 

OT: Nostalgia Critic used to be funny in it's early reviews, the moment he brought actors to make unfunny sketches, he lost all of his appeal, it's not really surprising he made a bad, boring and poorly tought out review of the Doom Movie.

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What's that? Someone hates the review so much they had to make an account and post it here?

 

The Nostalgia Critic? I thought he was the bum asking for change. I also thought he was That Dude with the Glasses. I miss his days of 1 - 2 minute reviews.

 

It always irks me when a parody of a review is 1/3rd the movie's run time. I no longer need to see the movie, because the review has so much of the movie in it. Not to mention breaking it down scene by scene in the order they come in.

 

Then there are video game reviewers who do 90 minute reviews for 30 minute shmups and 4 hour reviews for RPGs. Holy shit. How do people find the energy for this stuff. To write a 240 minute script is probably that in typed pages alone.

 

Anyway... while we're here spamming Youtubers, I'll spam this guy:

 

 

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Posted (edited)

See no problem in garbage review for garbage movie at all, whinning about such things, however, remind me about boy called Yaichko that had purple balls from birth.

 

What am I talking about: DO NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT SHITTY SHIT MADE FOR PIECE OF SHIT IF THAT WAS INTENDED TO BE DONE THAT WAY. 

 

I ended up hanged in my garden, see ya.

 

Edit: yes i typed barely understandable shit and that was intended that way. Have no regrets tho

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Posted (edited)

I was a fan of his until his reviews turned into a series of overlong, unfunny and overproduced skits. Hearing about the way he's treated his employees and managed his company hasn't helped. I have no desire to watch this video, nor will I ever have the desire to watch the movie in question. 

 

As a side note, his theme music is one of the most un-enjoyably downbeat songs I've ever heard. It makes me think of someone who has given up all hope in life and feels jarringly out of place with everything that follows. 

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1 hour ago, Solmyr said:

besides nobody in this forum takes videogames too seriously to the point of starting heated debates or flame wars about them.

Yeah, Doomworld is a very rational place where every poster is knowledgeable and posesses enough taste to recognize that Doom 2 is much better a game than Ultimate Doom.

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I was a fan of the NC too in the old days, but when the whole mini-skits thing started i slowly stopped watching it, also i started to notice that the reviews had this "i have the right opinion because i understand the source material" attitude, specially on the newer reviews, then the change the channel controversy happened, and i stopped following the critic.

As for the review itself... dunno, it's bad at worst and mediocre at best, the "i understand the source material" attitude is present and he ignores doom 3 existence and compares it to classic doom along with some bad skits, but tbh i don't think it's worth ranting about it like it's the worst thing ever, it's just a bad youtube video about a bad movie, there's plenty of bad doom movie reviews and this is just another one of them. Nothing worth of any kind of anger of disappointment, it's just meh

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Posted (edited)

On a more positive note, the Cinema Snob has just been on fire lately. His earlier videos are a bit hard to watch now, but he's probably my favourite MST3K inspired Youtube critic at this point. Cinema Snob and Sage are the only two people from Channel Awesome that I still follow.

 

edit: I'll watch Linkara maybe twice a year.  

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2 minutes ago, Ajora said:

On a more positive note, the Cinema Snob has just been on fire lately. His earlier videos are a bit hard to watch now, but he's probably my favourite MST3K inspired Youtube critic at this point. Cinema Snob and Sage are the only two people from Channel Awesome that I still follow. 

I still follow Guru Larry after like 10+ years and I didn't even know he was part of Channel Awesome until that whole Channel Awesome drama. His videos have wildly varying quality. From mic quality to production value quality, to having others write his scripts and edit his videos to just throwing on someone else's videos onto his channel. He went from like 1 year of something, 7 years of nothing to 2 years of something. Dude needs a shower if he's going to appear on camera again.

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4 hours ago, Solmyr said:

besides nobody in this forum takes videogames too seriously to the point of starting heated debates or flame wars about them.

 

Totally true*.

 

*Excluding:

- The merits of Slaughtermaps 

- The new Doom movie starting a woman

- Sgt. Mark IV

- Lilith.pk3 winning a Cacoward

- Simple maps requiring GZDoom because the author wanted to use a single GZDoom feature

 

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, geo said:

I still follow Guru Larry after like 10+ years and I didn't even know he was part of Channel Awesome until that whole Channel Awesome drama. His videos have wildly varying quality. From mic quality to production value quality, to having others write his scripts and edit his videos to just throwing on someone else's videos onto his channel. He went from like 1 year of something, 7 years of nothing to 2 years of something. Dude needs a shower if he's going to appear on camera again.

 

Gah, I keep forgetting that Guru Larry is even a part of Channel Awesome (which was a pretty funny running gag on Twitter for a while). Love the guy! 

 

Spoony's videos still hold up fairly well, but I think he's done for good with producing creative content. 

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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, Ajora said:

 

Gah, I keep forgetting that Guru Larry is even a part of Channel Awesome (which was a pretty funny running gag on Twitter for a while). Love the guy! 

 

Spoony's videos still hold up fairly well, but I think he's done for good with producing creative content. 

 

Even though I haven’t gotten around to Guru Larry yet, I do follow him on Twitter and he seems like a pretty cool guy. 

 

In fact, I still follow a lot of people who used to produce for CA, then #ChangeTheChannel happened, and that pretty much turned into yet another “never meet your heroes” situation.

 

At best, the Walkers were exposed as the absolute dirtbags that they are, and at worst, a producer who since died by suicide has been revealed to have sexually groomed younger girls in the past (plus a bevy of other sexual harassment antics). CA pretty much sunk themselves when despite the wishes of the former producers not wanting to name this particular producer, went and did so anyway to seemingly spite them. 

 

It shows too that many of the producers who left a long time ago (Lindsay Ellis, Linkara, Todd in the Shadows, Kaylyn Saucedo) really don’t want to talk about their days at CA; it’s kind of an old shame for them. That’s kind of telling what kind of environment they were in. 

 

As for Spoony, I still follow him on Twitter, and he actually seems to be doing a little better. At the very least, he’s more responsive to the fans he still has, and he’s somewhat learned to take a little more in stride. 

I remember that the last year was an absolute trainwreck for him and that he would go on about how his own life is miserable and whatnot, to the point where many people were concerned that he may have actually been considering suicide. 

Unfortunately, it seems that the emotional, physical, and mental damage that’s built up over the years finally seems to have rendered him unable to put out any concrete content in his current state. 

It’s such a shame too because nowadays he’d do these “mini-reviews” on Twitter where he takes a look at a movie or game, and he’d still show that he’s definitely got that classic Spoony humor even to this day. 

 

As for the NC review itself, I have no interest in taking a look at it, and no desire to watch anything from the Walker brothers ever again in light of what recently came to light. 

 

It’s kind of ironic since I’d like to become a video reviewer someday, and one of my things on my “reviewer bucket list” was to do a crossover with the NC on the Doom movie. Oh well.  *shrugs* 

EDIT: So I finally took a look at the review, and good god was that bad.

Edited by Man of Doom

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Posted (edited)

I'm annoyed both him and AVGN complained that they called it the 'Bio Force Gun' even though The Rock says "Big... fucking..... GUN" right before he grabs it.

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Posted (edited)
8 hours ago, Ex Oblivione said:

I'm taking a shit, you fucking gimp.

 

-Corporal Dean Portman

FUCK YOU PORTMA- (Static)

 

-Marcus "Pinkie" Penzerowski

(This is one of the movie's intentionally funny scenes, BTW)

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Posted (edited)
Quote

It fails as both a "serious, analytical review", and a sketch comedy video.

 

I watch a wide variety of YouTube channels that do review type things but this pretty much sums every every NC video I've attempted to sit through over the years. The "Angry Review" humor he does just never landed with me in contrast to people like AVGN and the actual substantive aspects of his reviews fail hard in comparison to channels like IHE or Cinema for Cynics or whatever else. The sketch bits are cringe in it's purest goddamn form, as they are in 99.99% of YouTube videos regardless of who makes them. The Doom movie is kinda crappy but I'd easily rather watch it than a lone NC video, at least it doesn't make my skin crawl with laughably awful attempts at humor and "acting". Its strange that some YouTubers who I find genuinely hilarious like AVGN and TJ Kirk sucked his dick so hard (creatively speaking) because their delivery is so much better and more genuine, thus getting the kind of laughs NC is clearly striving for. Obviously it lands with a lot of people, but he's always just annoyed me. A couple of my friends really like him, maybe that's why I have so much crap to spew about him.

 

There's my one time rambling response to any threads about Nostalgia Critic for all time.

 

EDIT: I just watched this for 30 seconds and it fucking sealed the deal

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Posted (edited)

Makes me wish Honest Trailers would do one for DOOM. They have high production values and a lot of writers... and occasionally AI writes their scripts:

 

 

Even without a human writing its script, it still turns out to be a highly entertaining review. Devoid of skits and personal ego. Oh and somehow it's been nominated for an Emmy.

Edited by geo

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1 hour ago, geo said:

Makes me wish Honest Trailers would do one for DOOM

 

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Posted (edited)

Doug is a terrible performer and has no sense of comedic timing. Never concise, tight or witty, just obnoxious and loud. Probably a nice guy--hell, I'm sure dinner and a drink with him would be fine--but his shtick got old very quickly.

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