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Plyte

Doom Books

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I have, unfortunately, read the 1st one... still trying to forget. I'll get over it in time, I guess.

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In my opinion, the first book was slightly on track. A lot of the writing I found to be fairly arbitrary though--what, with the author trying to justify all of the game's illogical details and all.

Still, they're still worth a look if given the opportunity. I believe they are out of print now.

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I think you can still get them off Amazon. I've read all four and the first one was pretty good, the second one was just... okay, but the third and fourth ones went so off track it was ridiculous. There was almost nothing Doom related in the third book. If I had one gripe about the writing style, it was the constant barrage of obscure literary references.

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CyRaptor said:

If I had one gripe about the writing style, it was the constant barrage of obscure literary references.


What? Please quote these or something. I'm intrigued, since "obscure literary references" are quite uncommon in lame gerne novels.

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Plyte said:

Has anyone ever read the doom books?


You're new here so i'll warn you before BigBadGangsta sinks his teeth into you. the books are not to be mentioned here. I own them all and liked the first two. After that they turned into smeared feces on the pages.

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myk said:

What? Please quote these or something. I'm intrigued, since "obscure literary references" are quite uncommon in lame gerne novels.


They were obscure to me, anyway. And most were in the last two. I'm not about to go picking through them again to find some, though, sorry.

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OOOOOOH A DOOM NOVELS POST! Lets see....the novels are gay for many reasons, some which I will now list here.

Flynn Taggart - gay fucking name, I hate the name, everyone that has this name must die, the person(s) that thought up this name should get cancer and if you know anyone with this name, point at them and throw very sharp stones at them.

Arlene Sanders - ok, wtf, there's a Doom chick now? Whatever. The book describes her as muscular yet sexy, but you know what? She's a fucking nerd too. She sucks.

Jill Lovelace - a 14 year old computer hacker that is described also as "sexy". Ok, now the Doomguy is a fucking pedophile too? God...

Albert Gallatin - a fucking Mormon sniper that lives in Salt Lake City, Utah. He's a fat fuck and I hate him.

Salt Lake City - yeah, right, the Mormons really have super underground tunnels and shit under the fucking town. Fuck you die.

Sears and Roebuck - wtf, aliens are friends. Let's see here. They cannot be not paired, they cannot see individuals (they'll see a phantom clone of another you if they're looking at you or some shit). They speak retard English and they're fucking pussies.

The "Freds" - yeah, ok, so the "demons" are really aliens called "Freds". The authors of the novels must have been doing more drugs than Orion when they thought that up.

The "Newbies" - a "hive" culture (each individual is actually connected mentally or something) that evolves really fast and shit. They eventually infect future humans. Wtf kind of bullshit name is that?

Future Humans - fucking weirdos. They don't believe in other people, so basically if they see another person get shot they're like "whatever" and go on with their own lives. They're also afraid of death so much that even a little prick on their skin scares the shit out of them. They're fucking pussies.

In the first novel there is a fucking talking Imp. Yeah right, fuck you.

In the second novel an Imp is smart enough to be carrying a satchel charge. BULLSHIT.

Names of demons :

Imps - spineys
Demons - pinkeys
Spectres - ghosts
Lost Souls - flying skulls
Cacodemons - pumpkins
Baron of Hell - Hell Prince
Hell Knight - Hell Prince
Mancubus - fatty
Archvile - fireeater
Chaingunners - Clydes (fucking die)
Cyberdemon - Steam Demon
Spiderdemon - Spidermind
Zombies - Zombies
Revenant - Boney (oh and they supposedly wear boxer shorts too)
Arachnatrons - Spider Baby
Pain Elemental - Superpumpkins

In the second novel the pressure dome on Deimos is cracked so they are losing oxygen. They get this genius idea of BUILDING A FUCKING ROCKET SHIP TO TAKE THEM TO EARTH. Eventually, they start going slightly nuts but yeah, they do it and crash AND SURVIVE near Salt Lake City. Whatever, yeah right, eat my ballhairs.

Yeah, the forth novel, ok, Arlene is crying because Albert is still on Earth. Why does this matter? Well, her and Fly (Flynn's equally gay nickname) are traveling the speed of light, so 2 weeks in their time is like 5 decades or whatever. Then they get trapped by the "Newbies" and get put into a computer simulation where Flynn "converts" the demons to follow him. Fucking stupid shit. Then they capture a "Newbie" soul and shit and they are stuck in the simulation, which is good because it is based on their memory which is lame as well.

In any respect, the Doom Novels are fucking ultra gay. I have read all 4 novels and am pissed that I wasted the money on them. THEY FUCKING SUCK DIE IF YOU LIKE THEM.

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hehe, that was some good teeth sinkin'! I agree with almost all of the above. Clydes, fucking retarded. 14 year old computer hacker FEMALE = no chance in hell (no offense but gimme a break). Boxer shorts and t-shirts on the revenants. Complete stupidity . i really don't mind the name Flynn though. At least it's original.

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Sucks to be you, BBG, I got them all for free.

And the Pain Elementals were called Superpumpkins.

It pisses me off when people think Revenants are wearing pants (it happens ALL THE TIME). It's blood dammit!

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As you can see Plyte, the Doom Novels are to almost all of us what the word "Fuck" is to fundamentalist Christians, do yourself a huge favour (yes, yourself) and the rest of us a minor favour and don't EVER mention those bloody novels again, unless it's to voice your opinion on them when somebody else mentions them, asking for opinions on them or the like.

BBG pretty much summed up what there is about it, but the Novels generally lacks believability.
Like that bullshit about Phobos floating above Earth and then Arlene and Mr Fuck Faggert build a starship (yeah right!) to take them to Earth.
Complete rubbish.

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The books weren't THAT bad. I only have the 3rd and 4th, the 3rd was ok, but the 4th one sucked pretty much. I want the first two, since they are supposedly the better ones ;)

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Yeah I've got them all. As literature, they suck pretty heavily. As sci-fi, they're ok but you have to accept they are based on Doom, and are about as loyal to the game as, well, um, they're just not.

I don't think the novelists are really qualified to write about Doom, virtually any fanfic on DW is better.

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From what I've read here, I don't think I'll ever read the DOOM Novels.

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i tried once to check if i would find the novells, but i didn't.
I would at least bought the 1st one... :)

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If you want to read some Doom stories, go to the fan fic forum's story index and follow the links provided there - I daresay that all the stuff listed in the index thread is far better than the Doom novels (Hell, even the horrid Doom Comic is better than the Novels).

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Actually, I think the Doom Comic may be even worse than the novels. I have issue #1 in pristine condition from teh iD anthology, but fain tell me were there any more made?

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At least the comic offers a laugh (at the authors' stupidity), the comics are just a plain sad attempt at doing a Novel over the game.

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Novels? Comics??

All I found at the local library are two books, Doom II and Heretic, and are just complete walkthroughs for the game!

Where to look for them, then...?

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scorpion said:

Novels? Comics??

All I found at the local library are two books, Doom II and Heretic, and are just complete walkthroughs for the game!

Where to look for them, then...?

(Hell, even the horrid Doom Comic is better than the Novels).

Just follow the link and you'll get to a page with link to each individual page of the Doom comic.
As for the books: Forget it! Even the lousiest stories in the fan fic forum are better than these novels.

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Okay. omg, a big load of doom storys. Something to the cold nights at winter... :)

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SlayeR said:

The books weren't THAT bad. I only have the 3rd and 4th, the 3rd was ok, but the 4th one sucked pretty much. I want the first two, since they are supposedly the better ones ;)


Isn't this what happened to Alien, and Aliens? The first 2 were cool, but the last 2 completely veered off the track and into a sewage plant.

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ravage said:

why pay more than $10 for sucky books? The cheaper were a little bit better.

I would only read those books if someone PAID me to do it - the time I have to waste on not only reading the books but on purchasing at least three plastic buckets to store my vomit as well - not to mention the unpleasant experiences that I'll have to live through, would require at least a shitty salary to encourage me to read this shite.

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dsm said:

I would only read those books if someone PAID me to do it - the time I have to waste on not only reading the books but on purchasing at least three plastic buckets to store my vomit as well - not to mention the unpleasant experiences that I'll have to live through, would require at least a shitty salary to encourage me to read this shite.


Come on, nothing to be read can be THAT bad!

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