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Roofi

JOHN ROMERO FOUND SERIOUSLY INJURED AFTER A SHOOT-OUT

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Posted (edited)

things-that-make-you-go-boom-video-gamin

 

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Things did not go well today for the famous John Romero. One fine morning, he decided to turn on his computer to play his old levels made in 1993. Suffering from memory problems, Romero could not remember his favorite game at all: Doom.

 

The facts occurred in a base located in Central America. John Romero ventured into a dark hallway with a pistol in the left hand. He heard grunts behind a wall. His instinct made him think it was just a drug addict.  He used to see some in San Francisco near his rich villa. He remembered that it was by recording the junkies in the street that he was able to produce a more realistic zombie sound. Hmm ... yes it was a ZOMBIE! Romero suddendly slows down.

 

Tense on his pistol, he heard a gunshot behind him. He began to run for a hiding but a group of drug addicts, uh zombies, armed with shotguns blocked his way. He was cooked! In contrast, the zombie located just behind shot first. A ruthless shootout broke out between the dehumanized monsters. Believing to be in safety, Romero was wounded by a stray bullet: - 40 HP!

 

Seriously injured in the leg, Romero called the firemen but they could not reach him: "Hey Romero, you know where you stashed the red key? I played your game when I was kid but I can't remember where it is." As he was about to point the way, Romero panicked when he realized that he had taken the only red key in the entire base and that the red door near him was locked. He began to crawl to the door and put the palm of his hand on it. The door lifted almost magically.

 

The firemen were about to save Romero, but "a big pink pig" blocked the way. It was two-legged scary pig with sharp teeth. At the moment the monster approached to devour one of the saviors, a fireball mysteriously wounded the thing. Nobody could see who threw the magic ball due to the darkness but one of the firefighters thought he saw a pretty muscular black man.

 

Spoiler

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In short, the operation was successful, Romero and the firemen had to flee quickly while the two monsters were bickering like kids. Romero now stays at the hospital in Neuilly-Sur-Marne after the doctors were able to remove the cartridge housed in the thigh. He now says he will not forget his cheat codes before entering one of his old  tech bases.

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Dude, i thought he was injuried for real...
Tho that story was sure entertaining

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The zombies' defense lawyer argued extenuating circumstances, claiming that Romero provoked their aggression by saying that they'd win the game if they killed him.

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This is a pretty shitty joke given the current politics surrounding firearms.

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Posted (edited)

Not funny. And for more reasons that just the firearms.

 

I don't think writing about seeing a "pretty muscular black man" is a particularly good idea.

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At least he gave us a sporting chance in MAP30: Icon of Sin. I mean, it would've sucked if Doomguy just appeared, and you got that little speech, and then Doomguy just dropped dead of a massive explosive heart attack.

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Posted (edited)
On 4/5/2019 at 10:50 AM, Roofi said:

Nobody could see who threw the magic ball due to the darkness but one of the firefighters thought he saw a pretty muscular black man.

 

This is classic literature.

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