Doom Squared Part 14

[Insomniak]

Doom Squared Part 14

AFTER-ACTION REPORT:

"Did you get enough sleep?" The unfamiliar voice asked.

I sprang up from the cot. General McCraig was sitting on a rocket box near the door of the tent. Jessica and Alex had left, probably getting some food. I looked at the clock through my tired, blurry eyes.

9:00 AM.

"I'm sorry, sir. I..."

"Take it easy, Colonel. You're excused...this time. Your other two team members are getting some breakfast and being debreifed. I brought you some rations. Here!" He threw me a bottle of water and a small tray, about the size of an sardine can.

UAC MORNING RATION #375
CONTENTS:
5g condensed egg substitute
3g artificial citric acids
2g processed meat tube, freeze-dried
TOTAL NET WT. 10g.
MAY CONTAIN PHOSPHOUROUS SULFIDE

Damn it felt good to be home.

I sat up, opened the tin and poured some of the water on. The yellow mass on the right expanded slightly, the brittle brown stick swelled, and the orange tablets in the middle sparked a bit. Breakfast of Champions.

"What's Hell like?" The General asked.

I swallowed the runny eggs without chewing and looked up. "Well, it's like a city made of flesh and volcanic marble, built on top of a giant corpse, and has rivers, lakes, and waterfalls of boiling blood, lava, and scalding water." I took a bite of the "sausage" and chewed for a long time.

The general didn't seem to moved by my statement. "Look, i'll be honest with you. What i'm about to tell you is clasified, but I feel you should know it. The UAC tried to build a base in "Hell", that's why the demons came through. They mined underground, looking for minerals, artifacts, anything they could sell when they got back. They found what appered to be a giant demon, bigger than any cybie or mastermind that attacked us." He held out a yellow envelope with the seal of the president on it. I opened it, and a glossy picture fell out. Picking it up slowly, I looked at the black-and-white image.

It was that face. The one that haunted my dreams, the one that I had seen on the marble cubes, the one the imps worshiped with human sacrifice. No! Why!

" 'Baphomet' is the name top representives of the church called it. They provided us with texts, scrolls, pagan idols, and occult scrips. This guy was one of Hell's worst." He took the photo back and stuffed it into the envelope. "You should know what the true nature of your mission is now. I can't say anymore. I'm sorry. You have one hour to report to the helicopter for your mission."

He left, and Jessica walked in. "Goddamn savages. Kept staring at me just 'cause i'm the only girl on the base." She was wearing baggy camoflauge pants, boots, and a tight tank top. "You'd think the UAC would provide decent clothes for us!" She turned around and I saw that she had taken a blow to the side of the head. Alex walked in, same baggy pants, but had a green UAC button shirt on. "I swear, if I have to eat another #375 Breakfast pack, I'm going to crack!"

Poor kids caught up in this battle. Either complaining about clothes, food, or their government. They didn't know what it was like to crack yet. But they would, I'd make sure of it. Hell would make them crack yet...

The copter lifted off at 10:30. We were on our way to one of the industrial zones, since the downtown and surrounding areas was already under seige. The last strike team had left small disks recalling the previous area. We would have to follow these to find them, and maybe even Baphomet.

[Hyena]

Suddenly, a giant cacodemon three times the size of a football stadium leapt from some unseen depths below and engulfed the helicopter.
"What the fucking fuck was fucking that?" said Alex. Jessica screamed, then took her top off for no apparent reason.
"We're inside a demon," I said. "We need to build a giant crucifix in order to save the day."
"Won't that be dangerous?" said Jessica, putting a little too much inflection in her voice.
"I mean, we could just use the copter's missiles," Alex insisted. "Holy fuck."
"There's no time for that," I shouted. "General, call for reinforcements."
"Uh, aren't I supposed to be in charge here," replied the general.
"Now!" I said. He came back, "No answer. The demon's lightning powers must have shorted out the communication equipment."
Just then there was a giant explosion that was so giant that the entire helicopter lit up and nothing could be seen outside but solid orange.
"Fucking fuck, you fucking fuckers! Oh my fuck!" said Alex.
It turned out that the UAC heard the radio after all and sent a giant missile to destroy the demon.
It was all over. Or was it?

[Insomniak]

Hyena said:

Homosexuality

Hyena
No.

Posts: 179
Registered: 05-00

[Hyena]

Man, either you have no sense of humour, or you're way too sensitive for someone with the title "Insensitive bastard"

And just how does posting my stats help prove your point? What even is your point? So I've only posted a few times since I joined in 2000. What does that prove?

[Ultraviolet]

/me unfs Hyena's leg and spooges on Insomniac.

Now you two get along...
This is why two "funny people" should never interact.

[Ichor]

"What's Hell like?" The General asked.

Keep up this nonsense and this thread might just end up there...

[dsm]

Well constructive criticism:
I think you write fairly well, but some of your ideas are, to put it mildly, peculiar.
UAC builds a base in Hell??? You must be thinking that Hell is a place where people can handle to stay for more than a couple hours. Tell you what? I don't.

Hell is a place where no mortal is supposed to be, and it's a place where NOBODY would like to be for even a single minute - and it certainly isn't a place where you can mine. Of all silly ideas I've seen on this forum, this gotta be the dumbest.

And the thingy with "What's Hell like" doesn't make sense either, because the General (according to your story) has already had operatives inside Hell (which btw is equally cheesy) to tell him that - Then of course, I don't think the doomguy could really describe what Hell is like, because it's such an indescribably evil place.

Bottom line: This part of your story is horribly cheesy if you ask me.

[Little Faith]

What if the UAC was "Invited"?

[Hyena]

Hmm. One thing I just noticed. Why would the doom guy be a Colonel? Colonels are a high-ranking officer who have many a grunt working under them. I'm fairly sure the doom guy would be one of those grunts, the only member of his team left alive or some such.

[DOOM Anomaly]

What if UAC Bought part of hell from Satan?

[Fredrik]

The hidden truth is that this story is hell!

[dsm]

Fredrik said:

The hidden truth is that this story is hell!

This chapter perhaps, but the rest of the story is ok.

[Insomniak]

Ok. Thank you all for your commentry.

Let me try to answer some of your questions.

dsm said:

And the thingy with "What's Hell like" doesn't make sense either...

OK. The general himself has never been to Hell. The only living people who have been to Hell are the Doomguy, The UAC, (staff AND "volunteers"), and the previous Strike Team. The general wants to know what it's like from someone who's been there. Doomguy just happens to be on hand.

dsm said:

...UAC builds a base in Hell???

This was an idea I had tried to fit into my earlier Hell Connection story. I was going to go into this in more detail in the next 10 chapters. You'll just have to wait to see what I mean. :)

Hyena said:

Why would the doom guy be a Colonel?

Doomguy received this promotion inChapter 12 for saving the evacuation ship.


BTW dsm, after this story, I plan to write a TNT story.

[Hyena]

Ahh. I probably should have read earlier.

Still, Colonel is an awfully big promotion, assuming he wasn't an officer before.

But then, Lando Calrissian became a General when nobody in the Alliance even knew who he was.

[Insomniak]

Hyena said:

But then, Lando Calrissian became a General when nobody in the Alliance even knew who he was.

"...Someone must have told them about my little maneuver at the Battle of Taanab."

[dsm]

I know that your idea of UAC building a base in Hell was one you've used before but that doesn't make it less ridiculous. Oh well, continue writing this story and we'll see how it turns out.

[Hyena]

Insomniac: I'm very familiar with that line, but it doesn't disprove my point.