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Chow Yun Thin

Christmas songs you hate

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Well, it's after Thanksgiving, so I can listen to most of the cheesiness without feeling a wave of out-of-season revulsion. I even choose to do it (my sympathies to retail workers during the season). But there are songs of this season that make me wanna hit mute the instant I hear them.

 

All I Want for Christmas is You - Mariah Carey

Once is bearable. But why is it played so goddamn frequently on the radio? I don't care much for her vocal gymnastics either.

 

Last Christmas - Wham!

Insipid whining about getting rejected. The only reason it's played around Christmas is the title, otherwise it (with the lyrics and title changed) could work at any time of the year. On a related note, why does the radio station near me consider "My Favorite Things" and the Peanuts theme Christmas music?

 

Christmas Shoes - ?

Ok, I'll admit I've never heard this song. I just happened to find it on a Top 10 worst Christmas songs. After reading the lyrics, fuck that noise. I mean, it's a nice gesture to buy the shoes for the kid, but it's just depressing period.

 

Do They Know It's Christmas? - Band Aid

"Thank God it's them instead of you" "Here's to them, underneath that burning sun" Are you fucking kidding me? Figuratively and incomprehensibly tone-deaf. I also read that the proceeds from this song were funneled to the asshole warlords who caused a civil war in Ethiopia and the resulting famine that necessitated the aid in the first place. What a shitshow.

 

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer - ?

I'm not a gallows humor kind of person, so hearing about a beloved grandparent being trampled to death to the tune of a jaunty song is all sorts of NOPE.

 

Wonderful Christmastime - Paul McCartney

I don't know what it is about this song that triggers a gut reaction from me. Maybe it's the backing synths. Maybe it's the lyrics' forced cheerfulness. Whatever it is, once I hear those first few bouncy notes, it makes me wish Paul McCartney will reincarnate into a Christmas retail worker for his next three lives.

 

Baby It's Cold Outside - various artists

Hearing it with modern ears makes it come off as an overly-insistent man macking on a woman who wants to leave. I've definitely heard it called a song about date rape in Christmas wrapping. However, I've also heard an interpretation that suggests the woman is looking for any excuse to stay with the man without having to deal with disapproval from busybodies who don't comprehend a woman's autonomy. I don't know, maybe it's a thing between reading at face value or between the lines.

 

Santa Baby - various artists

Now I'm not saying she's a gold-digger... but she has some damn expensive tastes, especially that platinum mine. Eartha Kitt's is tolerable and at least sounds sultry. Madonna's is too peppy and chipper.

 

As penance for bringing up these audio atrocities, I offer a more palatable song with bonus cartoon ultraviolence.

 

 

Fellow members of Doomworld, what are your hated songs of the season? Also to members in the southern hemisphere, what do you make of all the winterness in the songs at this time of year?

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My two Front teeth- it’s cute at first, but then it just gets annoying.

 

Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey- Ok JUST WHY with this song?

 

Baby it’s Cold Outside John Legend and Kelly Clarkson version- I don’t even need to listen to it to know it’s BAD!!! I know what they did to the song by inserting their own politics into it. John Legend and Kelly Clarkson are very overrated and have clearly let the fame get to them!!!

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I hate pretty much all the ones you listed. I don’t mind traditional Christmas songs - We Three Kings, Jingle Bells, O Christmas Tree, etc - but the “Christmas pop” genre is pure, unmitigated ass. Hearing Last Christmas and All I Want For Christmas is You on repeat at my old job nearly drove my coworkers and I insane. They didn’t even have the courtesy to mix in the classic stuff either. It was like 12 of those Christmas Pop abominations on repeat.. Made me permanently hate those songs.

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Now here's a Christmas song that will never get old (probably because I don't hear it very often anymore).

 

 

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All of them.

 

 

Except Jingle Hell by Christopher Lee

and

the compilation, A Very Merry Spine Punch Christmas, by Spine Punch Music (found on various platforms/sites)

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I'll join "all of them" crowd. It wouldn't so bad if Christmas wasn't so pushed so damn early, like even before Halloween. When really day comes, I just wish that everything end faster, because all that pressure and songs tires me above my neck. 

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All Christmas songs.

The only exception is the Vandals album "Oi to the World". Best Christmas album ever made.

 

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9 hours ago, Chow Yun Thin said:

I'm not a gallows humor kind of person

well your just no fun.

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Last Christmas - Wham! - I hate this shit so much, you don't mind how I hate this song... :D

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16 hours ago, Chow Yun Thin said:

Wonderful Christmastime - Paul McCartney

 

I hate that fucking song. I like McCartney but holy fuck that song with the 'Wonderful Christmastime' repeated a million times. It's almost as bad as that Abbey Road song I hate.

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Fucking seriously?! Given I worked at B&M before they changed the music thing, they had this on CD and was the first track. My line manager would sometimes start the song over to deliberately piss me off!

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All of them except paul's wonderful Christmas time and this jamming cassette that I found at goodwill the other day: 

 

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19 hours ago, Ajora said:

Absolutely fucking all of them. Blech!

 

Yea, pretty much this...

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You mean besides all of them?

 

Ok not completely true. Cashing in on Christmas by bad news featuring Brian May and belleau wood by Garth Brooks.

 

But all the traditional cheesy ones can go away.

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Glad I never had to hear any of them. Almost as annoying as birthday songs.

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Happy Xmas (War Is Over). Originally by John Lennon (?) but some artists did their own covers. Anyway, this particular song gets played a lot and it sucks.

speaking of bad Christmas songs, there were stuff in the past that is just as awful. Remember this one song by *NSYNC?
 

 

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1 hour ago, Mr. Freeze said:

you nerds need better christmas music

I need a Christmas album from Phil Spector like I need a bullet to the head. 

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30 seconds of any 12 days parody is too much for me.

 

 

Isn't that a Tool song?  30 seconds and 12 or something.

I don't even have much of Tool's stuff, but if I owned a store I would play something like that all through December.

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All of them, except rock/metal based and purely classical/organ pipe based.

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best bassline in "christmas" genre plus the vocals really work for me

 

edit: the topic of the thread is "hate" but we're no longer living in the late nineties and posting on something awful lol

Edited by yakfak

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