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[Castelia]

...what? This scroll contains the weakness of this beast! What is it?

 

Hmm...

 

It's Pumped Up Kicks. Incapacitates the thing.

With this knowledge, the beast can be defeated, but before it can happen, it's the deformed City 17 citizen again!

What's she gonna do? She looks down at them, massive head growing larger by the second, and says, "nezitiC 71 ytiC, em llik tsum uoy, emag eht niw oT".

[obake]

Oh no, the skull demon's overtaken Martha! It has turned her skin gray, and eyes blood red.

 

We must stop it before it overtakes the entire town!

[Hellbent]

Hearing the call of the townspeople for action Osiris calls forth his pet snow leopard-anime-ram hybrid Obake to assist him in their noble quest.

[Mayomancer]

King tut wakes up absolutely furious, seeking for the bastard that super glued a phallus on his new hat

[Organic Shelter]

An ancient egyptian secret! It depicts the face of eldritch deformed city 17 citizen. It is known to devastate everything on sight. Osiris quickly seizes the scroll and face it towards the beast. The beast ruptures and dies shortly after. As Osiris gazes upon the scroll, he knew what to do. He sends it to Doomguy through means of transportation. Doomguy receives the scroll and uses it against the deformed city 17 citizen. Unknown to Doomguy, the scroll is made by herself as her extension. Doomguy swears, "Curse you Osiris!" What will he do now to defeat the deformed city 17 citizen?

[Havoc Crow]

There was nothing to be done, but to recall his old training...

 

Aldebaran II.

 

A stark desert of rocks the color of ash, covered with mist the color of mold. No human could survive unassisted here. Doomguy is in full suit, smart fibers hugging and warming his body, mask furiously filtering the air for scraps of oxygen.

 

His teacher, next to him, wears no suit and no mask.

 

"It's all a matter of the mind," the teacher says casually. "Be honest: Do you really think that noble beings such as us, any ensouled being at all, would really be a slave to something as crude as thermodynamics and chemistry? You can breathe the sickly mist. You can thrive in the temperature where water stops. All that is needed is the right frame of mind. They have called me a crackpot and a fraud, yet here we are."

 

"...Teach me," Doomguy says.

 

Doomguy opened his eyes. "Right frame of mind, right frame of mind, that's right..." He tried to recall the techniques, so rusty, long unused...

[Tor1zo]

"I WONT LET YOU!" John Bonham screamed, while destroying his drum set with a killer 4-minute solo.

I WILL TAKE REVENGE FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MY FAMILY...

10000 YEARS AGO!...

[Taw Tu'lki]

I have met a strange man with strange face and strange hat.

I look at him and ask him where is he from.

He didn't say me. He only looked at me like a victim.

And then he gave me his hand. Why?

I don't know who is he. Maybe he came from another planet. Maybe...

[Hellbent]

Taw Tu'lki was trying to remember... had he met this strange man with the strange face and strange hat before? Maybe some time long ago? His thoughts searched, but he could not seem to place him. His mind drifted until it came to the last memory he had of his own family, so long ago, now as hazy as the sky had been before his peaceful life had come to an abrupt end:

 

The sun hung low over the horizon, a pale blue, whitish disc straining through the blue smog, and to any denizen of Earth the rising orb would more closely resemble the moon than the Sun, but for the Venetian fox hybrid known as Taw Tu'lki, the blue and white sunrise had been an every day occurrence in the savanna-like tussocks of his childhood, now a far distant memory, before the world had changed. 

 

For Taw Tu'lki's home planet was no longer blue, and he could scarcely remember such a time when it was, when he and his family had become separated in the frantic exodus from his dying planet so many years ago. His escape pod had somehow ended up on one of the moon's of a neighboring planet, a world almost as desolate and harsh as the one he had just fled from. To survive in such an alien and inhospitable world required a retraining of his entire metabolic process, an adaptation that took place through deep meditation within a rocky, dusty cave in the side of a mountain.

 

How many days or weeks or months Taw Tu'lki had been meditating for he could not say, but he was interrupted by horrible screeches and agonizing screams. He emerged from his cave to see the most terrifying scene: a red tide of demonic beasts and fire sweeping across the craggy desert surface towards him. Midst all the screams and echoing bellows of doom he heard a desperate cry for help. As he stared in horror at the coming tide he saw at the front a green creature running towards him, hell's hoarde close behind.

 

The green creature was soon upon Taw Tu'lki. As Taw Tu'lki prepared to confront the oncoming demonic storm the green creature threw him a large gun and yelled something he didn't understand. Taw Tu'lki took shelter behind a rock and began to lay waste to the hoarde. The blue-white flame rapid firing from his gun gave him comfort as the demons fell before him, for the colors reminded him of home. 

[WowozuelaSpammer]

The green predator quickly killed the demonic hoarde with the help of Taw Tu'lki, then, they discover a sarcophagus, that has the mummy of...

[Doominator2]

...A deformed Half-Life character. "Holy Shit." said Taw Tu'lki. "What the hell is this?"   "~~~~*&%$" said the green creature, still speaking in an unknown language. Suddenly, the deformed half life character rose from its tomb, opening its gaping maw wide, sucking Taw Tu'lki and the green creature into the abyss.

 

"Shit, now we need find a way out of the abyss!" Taw Tu'lki said angrily. "*~~~~```~__--" replied the green creature.

[The_MártonJános]

"It's not the abyss you should be concerned about" an unknown voice uttered.

Taw Tu'lki and the green creature curiously stared into the depths of darkness whence soon a stranger emerged. He was a nearly bald African American individual possibly in his late twenties or early thirties and a constant grin on his face as he was investigating them thoroughly.

"You cannot escape this realm the means you've entered, but there is a way. Only I can tell, and only if you prove yourselves worthy enough."

Having no other apparent choice, the two decided to listen...

[DSC]

Their job was to infiltrate the White House to steal the greatest anime ever in order to give it to the man. In return, he would give something very special...

And so they went on with the mission, with some cells provided by the stranger to melt the face of any enemy they might encounter...

[WowozuelaSpammer]

Then, that one Pink Floyd album appears, Taw decides to put it in his pocket music thing, she then listens: UwU, praise the UwU orb, it isn't dead, do the White House job, because the man that send it to you is an agent of the UwU orb, and he goes by the name of Cory, when you find the anime, whisper his name, he will be the only one to hear it.

Taw and the gang go to do the job and that stuff...

[Hellbent]

The green creature (who, if the audience hasn't yet figured out, is Doomguy) was startled by an eerie laugh echoing inside his head. 

 

You will not escape the abyss! You are miiiine now!!

 

"Did you hear that?" Doomguy asked Taw.

Taw glanced at Doomguy and grunted softly. Though she couldn't understand English, she surmised his question. "I see her grotesque, oversized head looming large in my mind's eye. I hear her maniacal laugh echoing in my ears." 

Doomguy peered through the gloom, looking for some kind of clue on where to go or what to do next.

"What do we do now?" His voice sounded feeble and hollow.

Taw didn't say anything. Very still she stood, her head almost imperceptibly turning as she slowly scanned the impenetrable gloom.

Doomguy gripped the barrel of his plasma rifle as he waited for some indication from Taw....

[joe-ilya]

Taw and Doomguy find an Egyptian tomb, as a joke, Taw gets inside and says "I'm dead".

...

...

"Unf unf oomph, unf AAAH oomph unf" (Translation: Come on, the joke has ran its course) said Doomguy calmly.

He then proceeds to open it up, Taw was just laying there with closed eyes.

"Unf oopmh AAAHH!" (Translation: Wake up, idiot!) Doomguy commanded Taw and proceeded to punch him in the face in an attempt to stop the shenanigans.

Nothing happened, not a flinch, not a sound, except for the sound of the punch.

The swing of the fist was enough to wake up a couple of imps behind a corner, Doomguy proceeded to use his cells on them, ones he was given by the stranger a couple of minutes ago.

Doomguy looks again at the open tomb with Taw dead inside and grunts "unf unf unf..." while rapidly humping the tomb from all sides, in an attempt to find some kind of a secret to revive Taw.

[taufan99]

All those for nothing, Doomguy kept pushing the tomb. That was, until he found a wounded Rainbow Dash. He was almost startled, but soon realized that what he saw was nothing malicious. Coming into the rainbow-maned pony, Doomguy offered her some help, as it was obvious that she was in a hard time.

[Taw Tu'lki]

And then Doomguy smiled. 

[Tor1zo]

Taw was laying there, asleep, probably dead, until...

[cambreaKer]

a guy with a big hat came and started waving at doomguy

[Walter confetti]

and the half life scientist started to scream in terrific way!

What a grotesque view he just saw, worst than anything he saw in his life!

"Doomguy, save us from the hat guy!"

[cambreaKer]

then, doomguy reached for his pair of time travel glasses, and traveled back to the year 1993.

however, he didn't realise that the demons were still alive back then, because he hadn't killed them all yet.

doomguy couldn't use the time travel glasses anymore, because they were broken, so he asked someone to help, and that someone was...

 

Edited April 26, 2020 by cambreaKer

[Rare Hatchiama]

...Doctor Howie Feltersnatch, a physicist from New Hampshire.  He attained his PhD in astrophysics at MIT, summa cum laude.  He had dabbled in time travel studies, so his knowledge would be a great help.  But in a freak accident while making funny faces to his nephew BJ, his face horrifically stuck in the very shape he made to his nephew.  Despite all of this, he knew he had to help Doomguy in whatever way possible.  So when he met up with Our Hero...

[Slipgate Tourist]

Image taken moments before the cops arrived and gave Beelzebub and his buddies a fine for not respecting social distancing rules.

[Hellbent]

At that moment the Devil arrives decked out in Armani, (contrary to some false rumors, the Devil does not wear Prada). The cops scatter as the Devil takes a sip of his wine and squares up to Beelzebub and his cronies: "Hey 'Bub, how's it hangin'? You kill that green marine yet or what? You know, for the right price, I'd be willing to lend you a helping hand." He winks at Beelzebub, but neither Beelzebub or his minions notice on account of the Devil's dark shades. 

 

Beelzebub looks at the Devil with a droll stare and says in a deep, cool, gravelly voice: "You want so desperately to be as cool as James Bond but you cannot even balance a martini while you fly around thinking you're all important and dashing. White wine? Really? You're losing your wile, Devil. Go flit about in someone else's business. Maybe you can strike a deal with Meryl Streep. You know, I hear she's single. 

[4everDoomed]

Not really historically correct, but who knows…. :-P

 

"Everything is so boring here", said Ra to himself while he stood somewhere in the Sahara, observing the pure dullness around him. "Only endless deserts and pyramids…being here is such a let down! Our culture definitely needs something more entertaining .…I wish I had an idea."

A couple of days later, Osiris was slain by his own brother Seth. Ra found Osiris‘ Head on a stick, it was placed in front of Ra’s freshly built swimming pool.

"Oh boy, what the hell?!", he sighed. "Where is the rest of it ?" He immediately knew that Seth was behind it. Seth was always a violent being and broke bad occasionally. "Dammit!" shouted Ra, I’m fed up with all the cruelty round these parts, it has to stop once and for all!" He called him out and demanded to know where the missing limbs and torso are. "Hmm let me see…" said Seth, "I’ve hidden his legs in Luxor, his arms might be scattered in Alexandria and the torso should be found here in Gizeh."

"Alright", said Ra, "since you’ve been a total dickhead all the time, for starters,- I hereby order you to find all bodyparts and hand them over to Isis, otherwise, you’ll get whacked by my friend Dwayne, the fearless Scorpion King!!"

After a long search, Seth successfully retrieved all parts and gave them as ordered to Osiris' wife Isis, who immediately started to rebuild and revive Osiris.

 

In the meanwhile, Ra walked across the desert, still thinking about ways to enjoy people. Suddenly, he discovered a shiny box shaped object in the sand. It looked like an alien artifact from outer space. It had a screen on top of it and a lot of weird buttons. Ra pushed all buttons,- and the very last one seemed to work. The screen flickered, became brighter and the word "MagicBuilder" appeared. Ra, with an IQ of 350, easily figured out how that strange box worked with all these buttons. He found himself in a virtual environment in which he could draw lines, form objects and rooms. "Pretty cool", he thought, and asked himself if he could make sort of a game out of these possibilities. "Yeah, I'll put characters in it, too. Maybe Seth himself, an Anubis Warrior, Selkis, Spiders and Mummies...and of course weapons!"

 

After weeks of develoment, "Powerslave" was born. Thousands of Egyptians started to help inventing more of those boxes. They were even able to connect these boxes and played with or against each other in excessive multiplayer sessions. "Finally! Something to have fun with and enjoy people and nobody gets hurt in real life", shouted Ra.

 

Seth and Osiris became not only brothers but best friends again and if you listen carefully, you might still hear their laughter echoing in the deserts.

Where that box came from which Ra found in the first place, remains a mystery for eternity.... 

 

Is it true?

 

 

Edited April 30, 2020 by 4everDoomed

[Chip]

Oh M god! Er Baron be taking over. No DOOMGUY cuz' DOOMGUY probs dead! Why no one care? DOOMBARON BAD!

[Taw Tu'lki]

I saw a stomach of mancubus. Why his stomach looks like an evil monkey's face?

[Chip]

cat eat blue. cat blue, now. also, lines

[WowozuelaSpammer]

(Ok, i think the story's going nowhere, lemme start a new story)

 

This is the story of a man named Cyberdemon.

Cyberdemon lived on the 7th circle of hell, along Satan.

But one day, Satan was gone, he left a letter for Cyberdemon saying:

"Dear Cybie:

 

You're a good demon, but you have little to no muscels, that's why i'm ordering you to leave hell until you turn into the maximun demon, you need to work your abs!"

Cybie then followed Satan's orders, he moved to the biggest mountain and worked his abs, until...