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Impie

Absolute Worst Villains

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Posted (edited)

I revisited The Last Starfighter and was reminded how utterly useless and moronic the villain Emperor Xur is. He's a preening, cackling, moronic brat who has to rely on the military of another race to conquer his home world. The guys that take orders from this clown don't even like him because he constantly monologues and poses with his stupid scepter with the stupid hidden blade in it which he thinks is soooo cool, while everyone else is trying to do their jobs on the ship. The only reason they tolerate him is because he's provided them with a means to successfully invade. the second his plan fails they turn on him and try to execute him.

 

I didn't think I'd see a movie villain more pathetic than Scar from The Lion King, but there we go. I can give Scar credit for being the brains that the hyenas rely on to get what they want; Xur is just a spoiled brat who got lucky and doesn't even realize it. That they tout him as the big threat is laughable.

 

So yeah, I don't like boring, lame-ass bad guys that hurt the movies they're in. I can probably think of a few others off the top of my head.

 

The terrorists from Executive Decision. It's one thing when your villain is a fanatic, which instantly makes them boring. It's another when the fanatic drags his men on a suicide mission without telling them, and then browbeats them back in line when they revolt after finding out. And they just hang their heads  and mope as they return to their posts like, "ugh, FINE, i'll do your stupid suicide mission." Really? Shoot this cocksucker and land the plane! Call the mission off!

 

Helga Brandt from You Only Live Twice. Get mission to kill James Bond. Successfully capture James Bond. Threaten to torture him to death, then have sex with him instead. Take him up on a plane afterward, then trap him in the plane and bail out, leaving him to die in the crash. Whoops, he easily got free and took control of the plane. Piranha pond for you. It's like they took Fiona Volpe from Thunderball, made her half as sexy and one-fourth as smart.

 

And don't get me started on Kylo Ren. Fucking temper-tantrum crybaby is basically CJ from Grandma's Boy: long-faced nerd who dresses in black, pretends he's a robot, and fails to impress his peers. Also, protip: when you're interrogating someone, don't remove your scary mask and voice changer.

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1 hour ago, Impie said:

And don't get me started on Kylo Ren. Fucking temper-tantrum crybaby is basically CJ from Grandma's Boy: long-faced nerd who dresses in black, pretends he's a robot, and fails to impress his peers. Also, protip: when you're interrogating someone, don't remove your scary mask and voice changer.

I mean, that's about half of Kylo Ren's whole thing, isn't it?  That he's emulating Darth Vader but it's completely performative and he's absolutely not good at it, and he's quite aware that others perceive his Darth Vader cosplay as a failure and sneer openly at him for it, which just convinces him to double down harder.  If there's anything that lends credibility to his heel-face turn at the end of TRoS it's the fact that we've spent two-and-a-half movies watching him try so hard at villainy and being largely inept at it.

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Honestly I never considered Ren a villain to begin with, he was always ambivalent in my book. He himself was well aware he was no villain material anyway.

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39 minutes ago, seed said:

Honestly I never considered Ren a villain to begin with, he was always ambivalent in my book. He himself was well aware he was no villain material anyway.

 

He was only implicit in the murder of several billion people.

 

That's not his fault, that's the fucking shitty story's fault, but still. 

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8 minutes ago, hybridial said:

He was only implicit in the murder of several billion people.

 

That's not his fault, that's the fucking shitty story's fault, but still. 

 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

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obviously the dancer in just dance. 

 

 

 

Still brings me chills to this day.

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10 hours ago, Impie said:

I didn't think I'd see a movie villain more pathetic than Scar from The Lion King, but there we go.

 

Well, he managed to overthrow his brother, trick the rightful heir to the throne to abandon his claim, and successfully rule over a kingdom for years.  You have very high standards it seems!

 

If he'd kept his tendency to gloat in check, he would have lived through Simba's return, even despite him being incredibly unlucky that Simba both survived fleeing into a desert and then randomly bumping into Nala in the middle of a jungle.  Given the circumstances, his faults seem pretty minimal.

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Posted (edited)
17 hours ago, TheOrganGrinder said:

I mean, that's about half of Kylo Ren's whole thing, isn't it?  That he's emulating Darth Vader but it's completely performative and he's absolutely not good at it, and he's quite aware that others perceive his Darth Vader cosplay as a failure and sneer openly at him for it, which just convinces him to double down harder.  If there's anything that lends credibility to his heel-face turn at the end of TRoS it's the fact that we've spent two-and-a-half movies watching him try so hard at villainy and being largely inept at it.

Sure, but whether intentional or not, he's a laughable villain because of it. That he's supposed to be taken seriously while being so inept makes it even worse. The bad guy should only be a laughingstock in comedies. They could've made Ren a credible threat while also having him manipulated by his mentor.

 

8 hours ago, Bauul said:

 

Well, he managed to overthrow his brother, trick the rightful heir to the throne to abandon his claim, and successfully rule over a kingdom for years.  You have very high standards it seems!

None of which he could do without almost entirely relying on the hyenas and the fact that even his own pride doesn't really think much of him. And the second he becomes leader of the pride, he runs it into the ground. Realistically the hyenas woulda killed him long before Simba returned, given how inept he was.

 

Actually now that I think on it, the hyenas and the rest of the pride are also complicit in everything going to pot.

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13 minutes ago, Impie said:

Sure, but whether intentional or not, he's a laughable villain because of it. That he's supposed to be taken seriously while being so inept makes it even worse. The bad guy should only be a laughingstock in comedies. They could've made Ren a credible threat while also having him manipulated by his mentor.

Hilariously inept try hards still kill people dude, even in real life. Elliot Rodgers was a cringey wanna be anime villain in his videos but still managed to gun down a whole bunch of innocent people.

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1 hour ago, Captain red pants said:

Hilariously inept try hards still kill people dude, even in real life. Elliot Rodgers was a cringey wanna be anime villain in his videos but still managed to gun down a whole bunch of innocent people.

sure, in real life it's tragic. in fiction it's eyeroll.

 

besides he's not a basement dwelling nerd who got his hands on illegal firearms and snapped one day; he's the super protege of the new emperor palpatine stand-in, the front man for the new force overtaking the galaxy. that's supposed to make him a force to be reckoned with and a credible adversary, and he's just not. he does everything wrong he could possibly do wrong (which honestly makes him the perfect foil for Rey, who is perfect, but both still products of crap writing).

 

the reason vader worked as a heel-face turn character was we saw how powerful and formidable he was, but his inner dad was surfacing more and more and creating conflict with his loyalties. not that he was such an incompetent joke of a villain that he finally goes "fuck it, i'm a good guy now" as previously mentioned.

 

I'm not saying people can't like him, i'm just saying he's a shit villain. like i said, the same character is great in Grandma's Boy, just not in Star Wars.

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Posted (edited)

I always liked Skeletor more than He-Man when I was a kid. Does that make him a bad villain?

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I thought this thread would be about villains who are completely evil, like they hate fucking everything, but I guess the shitty villains without a lot of actual villainy would count too.

 

In this case, I would say...every single villain who is bent on world/universe destruction rather than world/universe domination for incredibly obvious reasons.

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The worst villian for me is the type that is overly lucky and always gets the upper hand and always ends up in a position that favors them getting their way...  The newfangled Lost In Space on NetFlix has a villian like that in Dr Smith. Man I can't stand that dumb ass. The show is bad enough without her in it... please somebody flush her out of an airlock already. I'll take the temper tantrum infested Kylo Ren any day of the week! Haha!

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Vergil from DMC Devil May Cry literally becomes the main villain in the course of 2 minutes after you defeat Mundus, it's not even tragic or meaningful like the Vergil from the main series he just says "fuck it, we won, time to be a bad guy"

 

Spoiler

 

 

Like the video shows, he literally just flips the switch and becomes the main villain.

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On 5/18/2020 at 5:35 PM, Rosh Fragger said:

Vaas from Far Cry 3.

 

I think they mean worst in a bad way. Vaas is a great villain.

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On 5/19/2020 at 10:47 AM, Tetzlaff said:

I always liked Skeletor more than He-Man when I was a kid. Does that make him a bad villain?

The time Skeletor totally failed at being the villain:

 

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Posted (edited)
On 5/19/2020 at 8:47 AM, Tetzlaff said:

I always liked Skeletor more than He-Man when I was a kid. Does that make him a bad villain?

Are you my older brother? When he was a little kid, he asked my Mom "Why can't Skeletor win sometimes?". She was shocked that her son wanted a bad guy to win, but I get it. I always liked the bad guys more, because they were more interesting. The good guy's were all little goodie two shoes, but the bad guys seemed like they had a lot more going on.

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2 hours ago, Jello said:

Are you my older brother? When he was a little kid, he asked my Mom "Why can't Skeletor win sometimes?". She was shocked that her son wanted a bad guy to win, but I get it. I always liked the bad guys more, because they were more interesting. The good guy's were all little goodie two shoes, but the bad guys seemed like they had a lot more going on.

 

Exactly. I also was convinced that Skeletor would be the rightful heir of Castle Grayskull, since it was adorned with a giant skull...

Was your older brother born in 1975?

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32 minutes ago, Tetzlaff said:

 

Exactly. I also was convinced that Skeletor would be the rightful heir of Castle Grayskull, since it was adorned with a giant skull...

Was your older brother born in 1975?

No, 1982, and I didn't think he had an account on here, despite the fact that he loves Doom. He was the He-Man kid. I was the Ninja Turtles kid. Although I had the same feeling towards Shredder, he just never got a break. And I agree about Castle Grayskull, it never made sense to me why Prince Adam would live in a castle shaped like a giant skull.

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3 hours ago, Jello said:

Are you my older brother? When he was a little kid, he asked my Mom "Why can't Skeletor win sometimes?". She was shocked that her son wanted a bad guy to win, but I get it. I always liked the bad guys more, because they were more interesting. The good guy's were all little goodie two shoes, but the bad guys seemed like they had a lot more going on.

 

Pretty much seconding this, villains tend to be a lot more interesting when they're well-written, and Skeletor was no exception.

 

In fact I wouldn't be surprised most fans liked him more than He-Man.

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I'm a creature from the year 1980.   But anyway here's a Steampunk Castle Grayskull...

 

SteampunkCastleGrayskull.jpg

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Posted (edited)
On 5/23/2020 at 2:01 AM, Jello said:

I always liked the bad guys more, because they were more interesting. The good guy's were all little goodie two shoes, but the bad guys seemed like they had a lot more going on.

That's exactly my sentiment about 80s cartoons in general.

 

Heroes: moral pariahs with nothing to distinguish them besides their appearance.

 

Villains: Actually had foibles, and as a result they felt more fleshed out, so kids remember them more.

 

I can't remember anything distinct enough about Jem and the Holograms to distinguish one band member from the other. But I can tell you all kinds of shit about the Misfits. Pizzazz was a spoiled brat who was scarred by her mom running out on her. Roxy grew up on the street and is actually kind of nice when she's not around bad influences. Stormer is comparatively the "nicest" of the Misfits, but she still hangs with them, so at the end of the day she's still an asshole, too. Also she has a brother named Greg who's a way better male lead than Jem's asshole bf. And Jetta is a sociopath and straight up criminal who isn't above running a big con on her own band leader. Why weren't they the main characters again?

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For some reason, I picture Travolta playing an alien villain in Battlefield Earth as the worst ever movie villain.

 

But hell there's a slew of em' out there, I'd even go as far as to say that the movie the Room had perhaps the worst villain ever, Lisa. "Lisa you're tearing me apart!" "Oh hi Mark." Not so much in regards to her villainy but just because the acting in that movie was just so f---ing terrible.

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On 5/19/2020 at 6:07 PM, NuMetalManiak said:

In this case, I would say...every single villain who is bent on world/universe destruction

 

Are you calling @seed a shitty villain?

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2 minutes ago, Rince-wind said:

Are you calling @seed a shitty villain?

 

1.0 .

 

Well I might destroy it, or I might not. It just depends on what I have on my agenda at lunch. Maybe I'll do both, hm... burn to ashes this world and dominate the universe... Yeah that's what I'll do, seems sensible enough.

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Honestly, I could list any number of characters here. I will start with basically every villain who takes time smacking around good guys in spite of being quite capable of killing them at the time of said smacking around, and every villain who spends time yammering instead of actually killing. I would go so far as to say genuinely good villains are far and away in the minority. Fortunately, when it comes to movies and shows featuring villains I tend to put my brain in low power mode and enjoy the spectacle.

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