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IMJack

The Canned Arguements™ game

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Let's play Canned Arguements™!

A canned arguement is an arguement, statement, catchphrase, or quip that is almost always toseed out in an arguement, real life or online. They're quick, simple (usually oversimplified) replies to challenges to a party's beliefs or arguements. There's a lot of them out there. Sometimes there are even chains of canned arguements that naturally follow one another.

To play the Canned Arguement™ game, pull out a canned arguement and post it, along with the people most likely to use it and the context in which it's used. For example:

When challenged by the anti-religious, Christian fundamentalists say "Those are the lies of the Devil! You are a Satanist!"

When fundamental Christians defend themselves, the anti-religious say "You've been blinded by religious indoctrination!"

The rules: Post whatever canned arguements that come to mind, or whatever you can find. DO NOT turn this thread into a flamewar; this is purely for fun and for enlightenment. Only reply to another person's post iff you have a canned rebuttal that follows a canned arguement which they posted. Off-topic replies, challenges, trolls, and flames will be deleted without a second thought.

Anyway, for the amusement and eludication of all, let the games begin!

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You spelled my name wrong! Therefore you suck and I hope you die in your sleep with a broomstick shoved up your ass sideways!

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"You're a gay Homo!" "You're a stupid idiot!" ..if someone is a gay homosexual, wouldnt that make them straight? ..if Someone is a stupid idiot, doesn't that make them intellegent? (I know this probably doesnt have didd-a-lee squat to do with this thread, but, meh, I tried.)

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IMJack said:

Let's play Canned Arguements™!

You spelled "arguments" wrong! You suck! Your mother sucks! Your dog sucks! You have the education level of a three-year-old! Nothing you say can ever be taken as credible ever again!

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"Religion is the root cause of most wars." Used by most virulently anti-religious atheists, to hide the fact that if they had beliefs this strong in a religion, they'd be considered nuts on the order of the Taliban.

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"God wants you to!" - Christians

"Well people in hell want ice water." - My Dad

"Cause it's mine!" - My Brother

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I'm right, you're wrong. There.

Oh, and, the worst of them all: Guns don't kill people, people kill people.

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Youre an anti-US/ pro-terrorist/ propagandist

recieved 7 times in 5 differetn arguments (not all here)

Your a communist

especially funny when its true about he person youre talking to and you didnt know

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You suck because you're not christain.

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ravage said:

People who say stupid things are stupid. Period. End of story.

Holy Gwak-a-moli ...I wonder what I am by now...

YOU'RE <insert something here> CAUSE I SAID/SAY SO!!!

DO IT CAUSE I SAID SO, BECAUSE, I AM GOD, AND I CONTROL YOU SO DO IT!!!!
<--My mom uses that one, heh.

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I'm more experienced than you. That automatically makes me right, and you wrong, idiot.

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Im Older than you Im more expereienced with the world, Ive been here longer, I know more than you, so shut up, Cause what I say is right and what you say is wrong. <---Seblings use that on me, heh.

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NO, YOU shutup, I have more Posts than you, that makes ME better. HA

From a very recent post...

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"I could tell you the meaning of life but it would take me to much time."
-An "entity" named "White Bull" speaking through a "spiritual medium" once told me that!

"You're thinking to logicly."
-Spiritual person

This one's a classic!:
"The lord works in mysterious ways."
-Christian each time his/her religion fails to come up with an reasonable explanation.

"You're making that up."
-what people tell you when you just summed up numerous facts that back up your opinion.

"Isn't he dead?"
-You can use this whenever some-one quotes Descartes, Plato, Marx or any other dead historical person.

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I just feel that it`s right!

That`s just the way it is!

Things were better in the old days
(hmm... you had 2 World Wars, I had... none...)

It doesn`t matter if you don`t believe in God, as long as He believes in you...
(hurllll)

I pray to God...
So did the millions who died in 1940-1945; did God help then; NO, so why would He listen to you. What makes you so damn special!

It`s good to support Israel against the Palistinians because the Vatican told us so!
In the thirties and forties the Vatican propagated anti-semitism.

The trees are the lungs of the Earth
(they`re not, Algae are!)

Gene technology is wrong!
Tell that to the hundreds of thousants that are being fed because of it.

They put DNA in food now! Don`t they know DNA is toxic!
(Sometimes I`d like to kill those dumb f*ckers at Greenpeace and the even dumber f*ckers who believe their BS!)

Pacifism is OK in theory, but what did it ever accomplish in practice?!
Read about Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King!

Thank God we live in a country without censorship
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thank God we live in a country without propaganda
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

It`s somewhere on the internet...
That`s a big help!

Statistics say...
Statistics say 70% of statistics are inaccurate.

Socialism doesn`t work because people aren`t motivated to work...
Wow, to think Plato, Marx, Engels, Lenin and Trotsky never even thought of this! Oh wait they did...
Don`t work --> no food --> you die... tada: Motivation!

Capitalism works!
Go tell that to the third world countries that are being drained to keep our system running!

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m0l0t0v said:

I just feel that it`s right!

Yes, that's also a classic amoung spirital people.

I can't remember who, but some-one around here has/had his sig say:
"I have my opinion, you have yours. Lets keep it that way."

It's a funny sig, but who had it?

(*_*)

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(Regarding the terrorists) If only they were Christens
Because Christens would never do something like that.

Is that the Christen thing to do?
Who cares? I’m more worried if it’s the right thing to do.

What do those games/movies/books teach you? Nothing. But the Bible says...
Funny, I always play games/watch movies/read books for fun and not to gain insight on right and wrong. I must be bonkers.

The bible has the answers
Oh yes, a book written in medieval times from stories passed down a few thousand years isn’t subject to some warping of the truth? I might stick with common sense thanks.

Evolution is just a theory
But it’s a damn good one.

And if this seems to be a bit anti-religious, lets balance it up a bit:

There’s no such thing as god!
Really? WOW! You must know better then most scientists! It’s a good thing you’re not one of those people who follow a set of beliefs blindly!!!

Evolution disproves the existence of god.
No, it disproves the literal interpretation of one bible story.

Religion starts wars!
And science has done nothing but good! It’s never been used to start wars, insight rascal hatred, develop weapons, ect.

All religious people are fanatics
That makes all atheists fanatics too.

I hate when religions people shove their beliefs down my throat!
Nope. Never seen an atheist do anything like that.

There’s no such person as Jesus.
Actually, it’s a known fact that there was a Jesus.

What good has religion done anyone?
Fed the poor when governments failed, gave us a code of laws, social starcher, Free drug rehabilitation, employment servers, supplied shelters, hospitals, eduction for the poor, the survival of the human race... not much really.

Why do people still believe in that stuff now days?
What? You don’t think there where atheists 100 years ago? 1000 years ago? When Jesus walked the earth? When Moses walked the earth?

And now just a few misc:

It’s a good thing people now days know better
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

You are far to politically correct.
Why? Because I don’t act like an arsehole? Because I only sware when I have reason to? Because I only use the words ‘Gay’ and ‘Reared’ in reference to homosexuals, or the mentally ill?

I’m not a racist but...
Speaks for it’s self really.

I’m not a racist, I just hate [insert race here]
Why do they bother?

I’m not a racist, I just hate queers
True, you’re not a racist, you a homophobe.

To me, you’re white
Anybody who says something like this, and means it, should be tared and feathered.

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Back in my days we had to walk up hill both ways, in the freezing cold, in my moms night gaunde, in my father's pajamas, to get to <insert destination here> Oh Bah, quit yer Belly-aching, times have changed, get over it.

Back when I was your age <Insert so-called hard labouring pitty story here> Oh God, Get with the times.

You gotta do everything I say, all the work better be done MY way and now! Yeah, whatever, They're called Child Labour Laws.

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I'm doing this for your own good.
Good? Then why does it always hurt?

I got the clothes, you don't. I'm cool, and you're not. Any questions, dork?
You. Are. Fucking. Retarded. You are poor now because of those new clothes. I'm not. I should laugh, but then I'd be the one getting quoted then.

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I know you are but what am I?
A sad, sad soul for using such an old line.

I am rubber, you are glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.
Kay, when I kick yer ass does that mean I'll beat myself aswell?

...You are.
...Thats it? What kind of lame arsed eccuse for a comeback is that?

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Dude, you're not doing that right. (When I am)
You have no idea...

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Scientist said:

Rich person: "I got all my fortune due to hard work."
I'm sure you did, but who's hard work?

Hahah, good one :D

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