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Mayomancer

Does Mayonnaise belong on pizza?

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39 minutes ago, FractalBeast said:

Talking about mayonnaise... I never understood all those "mayonnaise is bland shit for bland people" jokes in Wayan brothers movies, until those American brands finally crossed the Atlantic to continental Europe.

 

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, AMERICAN MAYONNAISE FUCKING SUCKS! IT'S LITERALLY TASTELESS FAT IN A TUB!

 

I've heard the same thing being said of American beers in general. For some reasons, Americans themselves consider them to be little more than pale-colored, watered-down concoctions of coyote, jackal and hyena urine, fit only for frat bros to get smashed on the cheapest possible (legal) booze (apart from 40oz or other malt liquors).

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Apparently there are microbreweries in the US that make decent stuff. It's a shame that hardly any of it makes it over the Atlantic, and of the precious little stuff that does, 4 out of 5 times it will be an India Pale Ale.

I'm tired of IPAs. I know for a fact that there are some decent porters and stouts made by US microbreweries. And where are all the brown and red ales? 

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3 hours ago, Maes said:

At least that one is topped with chocolate, is effectively more of a sweet than a pizza and could get a pass as an unusual crêpe. The one I'm talking about however was otherwise "normal", having tomato sauce, cheese and bacon on top. You can only imagine how the combination tasted. And no, removing the cherries didn't help any because their taste had somehow permeated everything.

 

Oh no, I do not want chocolate on my pizza, or on anything else for that matter. There's two things I can't stand as far as food goes and it's chocolate and lobster. I used to love chocolate but when I was a teen with some mild acne, somebody said try cutting out the chocolate and I did. I've tried chocolate on several occasions again over the years to no avail. Tried a chocolate bar I used to like a few years ago, it was awful. As for lobster, the smell alone kills me.

 

Cherries on pizza sounds terrible. Bleh.

 

 

 

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I'm

 

Didn't even know that mayo on pizza was a thing, but

 

I'm sort of tempted to try it this weekend...

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23 hours ago, Walter confetti said:

Hell no. Just.. no, Jesus, NO.

 

23 hours ago, Gothic said:

No

 

23 hours ago, Gez said:

Absolutely not.

HEY! Don't listen to those bozos!

 

It's your pizza. Put whatever is edible on it. As a manner of fact, Michelangelo says the peanut-butter-nacho-pepperoni pizzas are truly awesome! (At least according to the manual of TMNT II: Back from the Sewers, see page 9.)

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Well sure if you take cooking tips from sewer-dwelling mutants...

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6 hours ago, Jello said:

I'm an American, and have literally never heard of putting brown sugar on mashed potatoes. 

 

Candied Yams? Although looking them up online it seems mashing them isn't the traditional way of serving them, they're more just chopped up. 

 

But even worse, they're usually served with MARSHMALLOWS! I swear some American cuisine was designed by 5 year olds.

 

1 hour ago, Maes said:

 

I've heard the same thing being said of American beers in general. For some reasons, Americans themselves consider them to be little more than pale-colored, watered-down concoctions of coyote, jackal and hyena urine, fit only for frat bros to get smashed on the cheapest possible (legal) booze (apart from 40oz or other malt liquors).

 

Hey, I'll rag on some American food until the cows come home (some is incredible though. Poke, a Hawaiian dish, is literally one of the most amazing things ever invented). But American beer gets a bad rap.

 

Sure they have some awful mass produced lager (Bud Light, I'm looking at you), but here in Seattle for every tasteless beer available at a given bar there'll be dozens of incredible beers from the hundreds of local breweries we have.

 

We're lucky enough to live just over the mountains from where 75% of the country's hops are grown, so we have probably thousands of different types of local beers to choose from, and they're really, really good. From light summer pilsners to humungous 13% imperial IPAs, I've been a very happy lad these last few years living here. 

 

Say what you like about the USA, but "nothing but bad beer" is not one of them (depending where you live).

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We had a problem of only having crappy beers for the longest time here too, but there have been a lot of good small breweries popping up recently.

 

And yeah, i think most people are imagining a worst case scenario of bad, greasy pizza with equally low quality mayonnaise... also i didn't like pineapple on any pizzas i had, but no strong feelings about it too

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18 minutes ago, Bauul said:

Candied Yams? Although looking them up online it seems mashing them isn't the traditional way of serving them, they're more just chopped up. 

 

But even worse, they're usually served with MARSHMALLOWS! I swear some American cuisine was designed by 5 year olds.

 

... and is delicious! The way you describe it makes it sound like you've never tasted yams or sweet potatoes before, especially if you liken them to mashed potatoes ;p Don't knock it til you've tried it; there's a reason that's a staple dish for a major american holiday. While typically served as a side, it is truthfully more of a dessert. Still, there is a large combination of sweets and spices associated with thanksgiving dishes.

 

Also can confirm that microbreweries are the way to go for good-tasting beer, though for the cost most people still prefer the piss-water for being more affordable and accessible.

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On 9/24/2020 at 10:24 AM, Antkibo said:

Have never given much thought to mayonnaise, but yesterday I dreamed about pizza with fried eggs on top.

In Argentina, we call it the "American" Pizza. It usually comes with ham too. It's soooo good.

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I actually think that it usually depends on what type of pizza you are eating. An example being pepperoni pizza, which fits with ketchup and hot sauce, but not mayo. On the other hand, we have chicken flavours (Ex. Papa John's Chicken Ranch Pizza) which may be suitable with mayonnaise

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2 minutes ago, Fonze said:

.. and is delicious! The way you describe it makes it sound like you've never tasted yams or sweet potatoes before, especially if you liken them to mashed potatoes ;p Don't knock it til you've tried it;

 

Warning, rant time. Because candied yams seems to bring this out in me!

 

I've eaten sweet potatoes since as long as I can remember. But do you know what in all my years of eating them I never once thought? "You know what this savory dish, which is already a little on the sweet side, needs? Lashings of sugar and marshmallows!".

 

Unfortunately I did try it. That's how I know a) what it is, and b) how unsuitable to being part of a roast dinner it is. It's just so confused. Might as well pour golden syrup on the parsnips or chocolate on the turkey.

 

You say it's a practically a dessert, and I entirely agree, in so much as taking an ordinary, savory vegetable and pouring sugar on it makes it a dessert. So I'm sure you'll understand why I seriously questioned finding a lump of it on my plate next to my sprouts! 

 

There are very, very few foods in this world I dislike, but of everything I have ever tried anywhere, I have to be honest, candied yams is the thing I have the most difficulty getting my head around. 

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2 hours ago, NoXion said:

Apparently there are microbreweries in the US that make decent stuff. It's a shame that hardly any of it makes it over the Atlantic, and of the precious little stuff that does, 4 out of 5 times it will be an India Pale Ale.

I'm tired of IPAs. I know for a fact that there are some decent porters and stouts made by US microbreweries. And where are all the brown and red ales? 

 

A brewery in walking or biking distance of me has an Irish Red Ale right now!   I put a basket on my bike so I can ride back with a 4-pack of bottles.   I don't care for pine tree-tasting IPA's either, but one I got them from them was great and didn't taste like a pine tree or bubble gum.  Often they have a good porter.   I have had a good stout there before.   Right now they have a really good shagbark ale.

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okonomiyaki its called the japanese pizza and have mayonaise but most of it its veggies with some shrimp and few meat so i guess thats why mayoinaise goes well with it although im speaking of okonimayaki prepared by Mexican and sometimes the japanese food made here isnt exactly like would be made in japan (i mean most sushi here have avocado and philadelphia cheese-cream).

 

Dominos Pizza here give you a little sauce package called chimichurri which is a sort of mix of chili and other stuff but the base for this sauce is mayoinase (you can practically feel the flavor) and taste pretty nice in the pizza but of course its also the mix of other ingredients in the sauce. i wouldnt put mayoinase only though but i wouldnt mind adding a bit of that chimichurri.

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2 hours ago, Bauul said:

 

Warning, rant time. Because candied yams seems to bring this out in me!

 

I've eaten sweet potatoes since as long as I can remember. But do you know what in all my years of eating them I never once thought? "You know what this savory dish, which is already a little on the sweet side, needs? Lashings of sugar and marshmallows!".

 

Unfortunately I did try it. That's how I know a) what it is, and b) how unsuitable to being part of a roast dinner it is. It's just so confused. Might as well pour golden syrup on the parsnips or chocolate on the turkey.

 

You say it's a practically a dessert, and I entirely agree, in so much as taking an ordinary, savory vegetable and pouring sugar on it makes it a dessert. So I'm sure you'll understand why I seriously questioned finding a lump of it on my plate next to my sprouts! 

 

There are very, very few foods in this world I dislike, but of everything I have ever tried anywhere, I have to be honest, candied yams is the thing I have the most difficulty getting my head around. 

 

Lmao! Well apologies for continuing the offtopic ranting :)

 

 I can totally see where you're coming from with that; a lot of people don't like to mix sweet with their "real" foods, case-in-point the typical reaction you see from people when presented with stuffing made with apples, raisins, or other sweet fruits. Arguably healthier but a similarity can be drawn between the two I suppose, though in fairness I am among the camp wondering why perfectly good stuffing was ruined with sweet stuffs.

 

Still, thanksgiving (and I suppose christmas due to a similar time of year) dinners tend to be an amalgamation of sweets and savory with gravy and other sauces mixing on the plate with the candied yams/etc, so maybe it looks less weird when on the other side of the sprouts is some jellied cranberry sauce, another staple side of the stereotypical thanksgiving dinner. Idk I guess it's a weird purposeful indulgence on the back of the thought that since it's only a meal once (or twice if you count christmas dinner, but we're fat americans so let's face it who really does) a year that it is in some moderation, or something heh.

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I have eaten pizza with a lot of different toppings ranging from the average toppings to the obscure, but mayo is not one of them and certainly has never been offered to me. I only say no if I've tried it at least once, well, at least when it comes to things like this that is lolz.

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This movie is a little bit more evocative of froyo or marshmallow fluff, however:

 

 

I'm from Appalachia, where ranch dressing is a standard pizza condiment. I never heard of mayo on a pizza, but I can't judge anyone.

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So, uh, reporting back lol.

 

Tried some Hellman's on a slice of veggie. Wasn't bad, but not something I'd really want to do again, personally.

pizza1a.jpg.fc2c13ea9e074a4aa41ad475f3937876.jpg

 

Mixed these in in with the mayo, which was a bit more palatable:

-basil growth

-garlic chunks

-onion dust

-lemon sploosh

-a walla-dollop of olive oil (said 10 times in a row rapidly)

 

pizza1b.jpg.0bdbcc2da5a8f30fc7ee8c2b60b83f10.jpg

 

Nothing beats adding just a dab buffalo sauce though

pizza1c.jpg.f196b280d3cf03ee29021c87cc82cf2e.jpg

 

 

Probably calling it a night pretty soon, my stomach's killing me.

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The buffalo sauce turns it from ok although a bit too much sauce to WTF AM I LOOKING AT?!

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@Smouths That reminds me, garlic sauce is a pretty common to uncommon pizza dipping sauce over here in the Netherlands.

 

You pretty much turned that mayo into garlic sauce.

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When you say they "send it with pizzas" you must mean as a dip. And they probably intend to get you to buy some breadsticks or cheesy bread. I never really thought of mayo on anything but cold macaroni. It's good if it uses egg substitute.

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I don't really like pizza that much anyway, so I can't tell. My favorite is mozarella with some italian fine spices.

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Idk what you guys are talking about mayonnaise goes with everything

image.png.3aa4461444d8a64a27273fff39892f08.png

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1 minute ago, kwc said:

Idk what you guys are talking about mayonnaise goes with everything

image.png.3aa4461444d8a64a27273fff39892f08.png

I'm calling the police.

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The most hilarious thing about this whole thread is pretty much everyone here probably uses different mayo recipes or the god forsaken store sold ones. So everyone is using different reference points.

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Glad to see some people trying out some nice mayo-based dips. But yes, having everyone basing their opinions on different brands and recipes of mayonnaise is a problem. We should create an universal Doomworld Mayo Standard.

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I’m a picky eater so not only do I hate mayo, I don’t even eat cheese on pizza lol. The best pizza is Neapolitan marinara pizza, with savory toppings (meat or vegetables or fish) chosen as desired, or even no toppings for something simple. Just tomato marinara, olive oil and garlic on good Italian pizza dough.

 

People always think cheese-less pizza is absurd but it’s the original kind of pizza.

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