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Malice Rancor

Cyber Monte the Special

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Cyber Monte the Special - Laiceps eht Etnom Rebyc

Monte wasn’t like the other Cyberdemons he was special. Ever since that one crazy eyed man started to scream at him, saying “Hey you ugly piece of shit, how about a makeover” and blasted him the head with his rocket launcher fifty times, Monte has been different from the other Cyberdemons. For instance he no longer called those floating skulls Lost Souls, but instead called them Sluos Tsol, followed by some drool from his crooked mouth. But none of the other demons seemed to like him or understand what he was saying; they would call him names, like Jesus Christ or The Holy Spirit. The only demon that seemed to understand him was the Icon of Sin who was very, very special. The Icon would always say to Monte “If the rocket doesn’t kill you, it will only make you more special“, except he said it in a different way using what me and him called “klat laiceps”. Monte thought that was good advice so he decided it was time to find some crazy eyed men, because he couldn’t seem to get his own rocket launcher to shoot him in the head. But before Monte began his journey the Icon of Sin told him he could make a gateway to earth for him. This made Monte very excited and very sticky with drool. So off he went through the gateway to earth.

Upon arriving on the other side, Monte was amazed to see the pretty blue sky and the happy little birds chirping. And with a silly grin on his face he began to walk down the street tilting his head from side to side. There was allot of men, but for some reason none of them had rocket launchers. And they were all running away for some reason. Then Monte realized that they must be out of ammo and that is why they are running away. Monte wished he had brought some ammo to give them so that they wouldn’t run, but he wasn’t expecting every single person to be out of ammo. It looked like they were out of armor too, and they also didn’t look very coordinated, they kept tripping over each other and hitting their faces on the pavement. They were also running each other over with cars and some of them were breaking windows and taking stuff out of the buildings. “Oh” thought Monte “Silly me, I know why they aren’t like the crazy eyed men I am used to. These are called bitches, they only cook and clean for the men and they don’t know how to shoot weapons. Those crazy guys always talk about them just before we attack them, then they start talking about their guns and other stuff.”

Only minutes later tons of men came armed with rocket launchers, blasting Monte with loads of rockets. Luckily Monte has been learning how to speak to non-special people so they can understand what he is saying. “Shoot me in da heed, shoot me in da heed. No, dats nots meh heed!” This was terrible, non-of the crazy eyed men were shooting him in the head, they kept shooting him in the stomach, and Monte didn’t know what to do. Then Monte had a fantastic idea, he went and grabbed himself a bitch and held it in front of his stomach so that they wouldn’t shoot him there. It worked perfectly; he was getting hit in the head with rockets so fast he couldn’t even count them all. But Monte was no Icon of Sin; he couldn’t take all of that abuse. And before he knew it, he was strain across the town after his own fatal explosion. “Poor, poor, poor Monte” thought the Icon of Sin “I guess I am the only special demon in hell now, MUWAHAHAHAHA! There is only room for one special demon in hell, who talks using klat laiceps, and that is me!”

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