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dmslr

The thread that belongs to oblivion

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Spoiler

 

I don't make maps, mods, TCs, midis, custom sprites, textures, don't host useful sites for doomers, don't write articles for doomwiki, don't develop source ports or other soft.

I just use the things that made by someone else.😔 

 

Edit: I want you to know: I'm not calling the regular members worthless. It's just me wishing something contributed on my part.

 

Please, don't reply.

Edited by dmslr

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6 hours ago, GraphicBleeder said:

No.

 

You don't need to be a creator in order to be a good member of the community. It's all about having fun after all.

 

This, I've only ever made one wad, consisting of an imitation of Xbox Doom sounds. Before that, I used to write reviews, and would probably do it again, but there is so much content out there I eventually concluded it took far too much time, so I kinda stopped I guess. Then I made some IWAD demos, which turned fine from my POV, even if I didn't break any records. I've also contributed with a small Trivia regarding randomized pitches in Doom after getting an answer from Romero himself via email.

 

Apart from that, I stream stuff, but took a break from it as I got busy with other things. Either way, what I'm saying is, a community/fandom/etc. is not comprised only of highly creative folks/content creators, some of us are just regulars, with nothing out of the ordinary, we're not all good at the same things, or creative enough to do those same things, and that's fine, there's no need to guilt yourself for it. I used to do that a lot throughout the years, but I've mostly overcome it. Mostly, I still have the tendency to do it, so I can relate to how you feel in various ways.

 

Just give yourself a chance, and stop wishing you were someone else, that can only lead to disappointment. You are not and cannot be someone else, you are you, and it's best to make use of that in whatever capacity you can. And who knows, that actually having someone else's life may not even be such a good idea after all.

 

I used to wish I was someone else almost everyday, but all the experiences, all the struggles, all the enjoyment, sadness, good things, mistakes, and so on made me what I am today, for better or worse, and I would not just trade it for anything. All of this would have been for naught if I could just do it. Self-acceptance has become a challenge in itself indeed nowadays, as our environment cultivates a counter-productive mindset in us, to chase illusions and what others do, are, or have, and that "we're never good or have enough", which never ends well.

Edited by seed

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The good thing is that the community is big enough that there are always people doing the work for you.

 

Just rest and enjoy

 

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Kinda but it's more related to wasting the chances I had been given and being too irresponsible

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The majority of the community aren't modders. You don't need to know anything about them. 

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47 minutes ago, GraphicBleeder said:

No.

 

You don't need to be a creator in order to be a good member of the community. It's all about having fun after all.

 

This.

 

Also, it would be boring if People create Stuff and nobody would use it.

Without User/Consumer no Producer.

So you are a integral Part of everything.

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I honestly don't know where I stand on this. I simultaneously feel like I'm a nobody and everything I make is trash no one cares about while at the same time knowing quite well that many people know me and care about what I make.

 

It just sucks, really.

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People can't be worthless if we are ripping and tearing for fun in many ways until it's done, right?

 

Mapping, modding, playtesting, recording videos or demos......you name it. The Doom community is a big hub which everyone can contribute in some way.

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@dmslr: No forum would be complete without "lurkers" ^^; 

 

I mean.. like @Azuris said- if there weren't poeple consuming what is being created, there would be hardly a point in creating it. Though.. that being said, I suppose creating something isn't necessary "for the consumer", it's also for the creator, wanting to be creative, realize their ideas. But I think that in the end, every creator wants to witness people enjoying what they've made.. at least that's how it is for me.. so it's a symbiotic thing imo.

 

I used to be doormat~ uh.. dormant member, I mean.. for the longest time- I wasn't even on here regularly (until February 2020). And even then only for my own project and not to actually "mingle" too much with others. That has changed throughout my project, though- and I've come to really appreciate all the different characters on here and their different modes of (self-)expression or lack thereof xD

 

I say take it at your own pace, in your own time. Don't feel pressured to create anything! If you're only here to follow subjects, read up on stuff.. that's totally valid.

 

However, if you really want to try to participate in the creative process, there are extremely talented and supportive people on these forums that will definitely be able to aid or guide you.

 

Just remember to be kind and respectful. But that goes for every place, I suppose ^^

 

 

@Marisa Kirisame: I don't know you (yet) but you are just as much an integral part of Doomworld as everyone else. That being said, I am now totally going to check out your contributions :D

 

Honestly, what I've learned is.. that you can only strive to be the best you that you can be. As esoteric or aloof as that might sound. One might not be the most well known Doomworld member.. or the one with the most posts, submissions, followers, the highest creative output, etc etc.. but you are doing what you do. You are (potentially always) learning, growing.. always improving in some way. And you might just be an inspiration to someone or the reason why someone picks up mapping, modding, composing, scripting or drawing (to name a few things that happen here). 

 

I doubt that anyone really starts off with their skills maxed. Unless they cheated ^^

Edited by Zylinderkatze : Less typos, plz

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36 minutes ago, Marisa Kirisame said:

I honestly don't know where I stand on this. I simultaneously feel like I'm a nobody and everything I make is trash no one cares about while at the same time knowing quite well that many people know me and care about what I make.

 

It just sucks, really.

I've felt the exact same way. It's natural that we compare ourselves to others, I think.

 

What's important to remember is that we're all people; we make mistakes, our works are naturally going to receive some form of criticism, and we must not let it tear us down. Instead, embrace the fact that others have taken the time to give us guidance. Above all, remember that you are of infinite worth, no matter what you, or anyone else, may say.

 

You're an awesome member of the community, Marisa. Thank you for your contributions, and God bless.

 

@dmslr You are awesome, too. Always remember that!

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Addendum:

To @Marisa Kirisame: 

I'm currently falling down the rabbit hole that is SWWM ^^;

I dare say that your feeling of self-worth has no right to be anywhere near "trash" level.

Not that anyone's should be, for that matter.. or that I needed to see any of your output to say that about you with conviction ^^

But anything I could say only brings me back around to the (shiny?) bottom line.. that you should be the best you that you can be.

 

In General:

The problem with comparing yourself to others is that you're not them. You don't know what they might be struggling with- or how much effort it takes them to make things seem effortless. Don't compare your handful of morsels that you are adding to the whole.. with the whole. There's always someone who is more skillful with detailing, more magical with their (digital) brush or quill, more moving with musical compositions, more sophisticated with their scripting- or quicker on the trigger in their playthroughs.. Don't try to be them. Be you.

 

The only person who you should try to impress and surpass is yourself.

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I want you to know: I'm not calling the regular members worthless. It's just me wishing something contributed on my part.

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Being part of a community doesn't mean you have to participate in it. That goes for all people who still play doom nowadays, even all the lurkers out there who just watch the forums of any doom related content. Don't feel left out just because you don't put out maps or something like that.

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If you sit in front of a device and play doom, and/or lurk/post on the forums, you are an integral part of the community. Anything more than that (i.e. mapping and speedrunning) is extracurricular and only for people who love doing that stuff. Thank you for being here :)

Edited by David Asaad

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2 hours ago, dmslr said:

I don't make maps, mods, TCs, midis, custom sprites, textures, don't host useful sites for doomers, don't write articles for doomwiki, don't develop source ports or other soft.

I just use the things that made by someone else.😔

Nothing and nobody can say you’re a worthless member of the community.


Simply playing wads made by your fellow members gives validation to their craft. Nobody said that you have to be a creator to be a worthy addition to the community.

Edit: as @GraphicBleeder said, Doom is about having fun and sharing your thoughts and  opinions with likeminded people.

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I'll consider myself a worthy member of the community as soon as I win a Cacoward. /s

 

In all seriousness, I did feel pretty worthless at some point - I still do to a degree - but I feel like I'm slowly growing out of it. I've suffered with all sorts of inferiority complexes over the years, and let me tell you: it gets pretty fucking tiring. Comparing yourself to others is bound to create a certain air of toxicity around yourself, and when you do it for long enough, it has a chance to turn into depression. You certainly won't be doing yourself any favors by looking at other people's works and going "I wish I was as good as this guy".

 

Funnily enough, I never compared myself to Doom mappers in the same way I compare(d) myself to musicians, specifically a lot of drummers, being somewhat of a drummer myself. But when I look back at my track record of Doom maps, I can't help but think of ways they could be better. A lot of my earlier maps, I feel, have flaws that are extremely difficult to ignore, and even when those flaws are outweighed by the positive things (whether by popular opinion or just my own), I tend to give them too much attention. It often reaches the point where they detract from my enjoyment of playing my own maps. But well - such is the price you pay for improving.

 

On a small final note, nobody's worth in this community is tied to their creative output. The casual players are just as valuable as the creators.

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Yes. I'm a taker, not a giver. I'm okay with it. I'm grateful to the ones that do contribute to the community in the ways you've mentioned.

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1 hour ago, dmslr said:

It's just me wishing something contributed on my part.

 

Do you do any of the following:

  • Play the Doom games
  • Play custom content people make for Doom
  • Contribute to this forum, or other similar venues (other forums, Discord servers etc.)

If so, then you are contributing big time!  As a content creator, I love people playing my stuff.  It's as satisfying as making it in the first place.  So knowing that there are people out there playing it and enjoying it is a vital contribution to the community.  

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With my critical inner voice I kind of feel that way at times, but I'm planning to be rather more pro-active in releasing stuff this year, if nothing else some music (both original compositions and remixes/reimaginings of Doom, Heretic and Hexen tunes) and screenshots of upcoming WADs. 

 

But objectively speaking even if you're only a consumer you're making very positive contributions by supporting other people's contributions (I see Bauul got there first with that point!).

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I'd consider my community involvement both worthless and inconsequential, and see no issue in dropping out for months at a time as a result. I can't be relied on to finished community project submissions, and never keep to my own notional deadlines in map making or anything else. By contrast, a lot of people who do nothing more than post here frequently are very important to the community, in the sense that they really are the community. Playing stuff, discussing stuff and all of the rest of it. I wouldn't tie your perceived value to what you do here or to do with Doom in any case, but as part of the community, you have some intrinsic value to that community.

 

EDIT: I've just realise this is a question thread with no poll. Forget everything positive - this omission has removed all of your possible worth ;)

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3 hours ago, dmslr said:

I don't make maps, mods, TCs, midis, custom sprites, textures, don't host useful sites for doomers, don't write articles for doomwiki, don't develop source ports or other soft.

I just use the things that made by someone else.😔

 

You "liked" my video the other day.  That made me feel like doing more.  So, no, you aren't providing nothing.

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3 hours ago, dmslr said:

I don't make maps, mods, TCs, midis, custom sprites, textures, don't host useful sites for doomers, don't write articles for doomwiki, don't develop source ports or other soft.

I just use the things that made by someone else.😔

 

Mate, there's enough Doom content to last a lifetime. What the community needs most is players.

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I don't really contribute as much useful/interesting stuff as I should and it bothers me but that is me putting me against my own standard.

 

Don't think about what you are to other people, think only about what you want to be and try to be it.

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Not really. I like being a part of this community and that's all that matters to me.

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