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Terrible Names For Things In Doom

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Doom's demons have some really kick@ss names. Baron Of Hell, Pain Elemental, Lost Soul. But we need to appeal to today's society. Most kids don't even know what the hell a "Revenant" is. So let's make these names way better and more understandable to today's youth. Okay but seriously,(As serious as this thread can be lol) this thread is dedicated to coming up with funny names for demons, items, really anything in the game. So here are the names I've come up with.


          Bipedal Cow                                                                                                                            Diabetes Incarnate


       Hot Dog Fingers


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Pain elemental= Malignant Tumor

Revenant= Karen Carpenter

Cacodemon= That un-poppale zit you get and work on for days and then give up.
Imp= A turd after eating 12 nails.


Edited by Dubbagdarrel

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1 minute ago, Reelvonic said:

lol if hellknight is bidpedal cow then barron of hell should be energydrink 

Actually I've got one for the Baron. Buffalo Wild Wings!

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I just like Going Down's names for monsters:

  • Imp = Bungle
  • Pain Elemental = Bag of Bungles
  • Revenant  = Old Bunglebones
  • Mancubus  = Bungle's Bad Dream
  • Spider Mastermind = Enhanced Robo-Bungle From The Future
  • Cyberdemon = The Bungletron
  • Player = Genetically Modified Bungle


Or TNT Revilution, where the Cyberdemon is a "Siege Cow."

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I called mancubus's "fat shot leading asshole(s)" and then I used to call revenants "bone boys" before a friend called them "irate boners" and kept the latter as a name. 


to think of it I call any monster who gets a lucky shot in a Ahole so ehhhh. 

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Imp = Mr. Brown goin' 2 town

Former sergeant = Dick Cheney and his 8 million twin brothers

Former human = hair do be lookin fresh doe

Chaingunner = Plutonia guy

Demon = chompsky honk

Baron of Hell = Baron von Hellendorf

Hell Knight = OC DO NOT STEAL

Mancubus = ur mom lol

Arachnotron = smol spood *uwu*

Spider Mastermind = omg oh noes himb big spood! ÓwÒ

Wolfenstein SS = Leibstandarte-SS Käntschutfürschit

Pain Elemental = meatball of doom

Cacodemon = tomato of doom

Lost soul = skull of doom

Revenant = boney boi

Arch-vile = burney boi

Cyberdemon = stompsky honk

Icon of Sin = the greatest face in Koridai

Edited by StupidBunny

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1 minute ago, StupidBunny said:

Former human = hair do be lookin fresh doe

"It said it was a darker color on the dye box"

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Archviles = Ex-girlfriends


Why, you ask?


Because they keep bringing up dead shit from the past that I completely forgot about.

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  • Imp = Horny Crackhead.
  • Zombieman = Failson.
  • Shotgunner = Bruce Willis.
  • Chaingunner = Morpheus.
  • Lost Soul = Vic Flaminghead.
  • Pinky = Landshark.
  • Spectre = Living White Noise.
  • Cacodemon = Rotting Tomato.
  • Pain Elemental = Cancerous Ballsack.
  • Revenant = Raging Boner.
  • Hell Knight = Bulldozer.
  • Arachnotron = Expanding Brain Meme.
  • Mancubus = Your Mom.
  • Arch-Vile = Cancer.
  • Baron of Hell = Roided Man Cow.
  • Cyberdemon = Dildo Dispenser.
  • Spider Mastermind = Redditor.
  • SS = Smurf.
  • Keen = Just Hanging Around.
  • Icon of Sin = Michael Jackson.
  • Spawn Cube = Rubik.

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Imp = Camel

Revenant = Agitated Skeleton

Mancubus = Fatass

Archvile = Flameboi

Chaingunner = That Guy

Shotgunner = That Other Guy


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14 hours ago, Solmyr said:

Chaingunner = Morpheus.

Mr. Anderson, I found this terrible photoshop job in the matrix...




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Zombiemen, Shotgun guys, Heavy weapon dudes = "bewaffnete Männer" / "menschliche Uniformträger" (armed men / people in uniform)


Imps = "affenartige Monster" (ape-like monsters)


Bundesprüfstelle für jugendgefährdende Schriften 1994

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Former Human = Dewitos Dudebro

Former Sargeant = Beerbald Billhilly

Former Commando = Oscar Miker Weiner

Imp = Poop Shooters

Pinky Demon = Mighty Bitey

Spectre = Unsighty Bitey

Lost Soul = Metal Band Mascot

Cacodemon = Floaty Gloaty

Hell Knight = Caramellion Hellion

Baron of Hell = Strawberry Satan

Mancubus = Fatfuck McGillicuddy

Arachnotron = Babby Squishface

Pain Elemental = Aerial Anuspile

Revenant = Doot Boi, or RNG Abuser if I'm feeling salty

Arch-Vile = Deacon Dicklick

Spider Mastermind = Medulla Oblongatling

Cyberdemon = Master Ammowaster (doesn't quite rhyme but I can't think of any better)

Icon of Sin = Snark Wallberg

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I've got some personal nicknames for a few of 'em.


Cyberdemon: Big Horny Bastard

Arachnotron: Brainiac

Revenant: Boner

Archvile: Anorexic Pyromaniac

Cacodemon: Cacoboy

Pain Elemental: Floating Turd

Hell Knight/Baron: Grumpy Cow-Man

Mancubus: Fatso

Lost Soul: Mosquito

Pinky Demon: Pink Idiot

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Here's some I came up with on the spot

- Revenants are damage roll delivery boys, now with homing deliveries!

- Lost souls are stone skulls. Especially if they have their vanilla health values.

- Pain elementals are infinite sources of matter, and as a result, infinite sources of energy.

- Chaingunners are S.S. Nazis if they were anywhere near as dangerous as in wolf3D. (Seriously go play Wolf3D you'll see what I mean)

- The Cyberdemon is The Gigabruiser. (The only non-joke name on this list)

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Spider Mastermind: The person who's Rick and Morty was made for

Cyberdemon: Anakin Skywalker 

Lost Soul: The guy that ate to much chili 

Chaingunner: Gun go pew pew real fast man

Zombieman: Gun go real slow 

Shotgunner: Bald guy


Edited by 1Destro3456 : Added the bad names for the three hitscanners

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