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Sephiroth

bad jokes

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over the years i have played a series of nasty jokes with my friends. our first ones were aimed at the kid next door, and we told him what he had to do and that he would get a prize. yes we did reward him if he completed our task.

Bull's Milk
the one who started it called our nasty creation "bull's milk". we told the kid if he drank it he would be allowed to barrow 12 super nintendo games(back in 1995). we lets say he drank half of it and got to barrow 6. anyway the drink had these items: milk, pickle juice, cottage cheese, hot sauce, chocolate, salt water, soy sauce, steak sauce, vodka, beer, and beef broth. it smelled rank, manly of the pickle juice.

Bull's milk II
same kid, diffrent deal. I forget what we had offered him, and this time he did not do it. it contained much of the above objects only this time with: fish jucie/oil, boiled cow blood, chiken, and dog food.

aunt jane's thanksgiving stuffing
5 victims here and 'aunt janes' recipe. Well none of us have and aunt jane and it might be called stuffing in some third world country. anyway we made this stuff and told them that was who made it, good old aunt jane. anyway we used these things: canned dog food, frozen pinkies(baby mice), wax worms, 1 nasty cat fish(whole damn thing minus intestiens), cat food bulls testicals and a lung(complements of the local dunkard/quaker slaughter hous) as well as normal stuff like bread, hamburger, stove top and some seasonings to mix and mask the tastes. we cooked it and offered it to them, most of them were from school. 3 said it was ok but had a odd taste, 1 guy really loved it, and a girl said it was alright.
well we then waited about 6 months and sent them pictures in the mail with the message "aunt janes stuffing" inside we gave the recipe and the pictures showed all the ingrediants. the girls was really upset but got over it when she got her prize, stupid Nysuck CD. the other guys were pissed but soo got over it as they were finally goten by the biggest joke ever, so far. there were no death threats and fights made.

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It would be funny if it was actually real Bull Milk. And it would have been hilarious if he milked the bull himself.

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Caught this one from The Sopranos:

Two friends, one rich and the other poor, went to buy christmas presents for their wives. They enter this department store, and the poor friend asks:

"So, what are you going to buy for your wife?"
"Nothing special... a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. If she doesn't like the ring she can return it with the car and she'll be happy anyway. What about you?"
"Nothing special either... a pair of slippers and a dildo."
"What for?"
"In case she doesn't like the slippers, fuck her!"

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