Ranking the Fartpower of the DOOM Beastiary

[TheMagicMushroomMan]

In this thread, you will assign monsters a DFP (Destructive Fart Power) level from 1-9000 while explaining why their farts are deadly, and how their farts could be used as a deadly weapon.

Romero's Head
DFP (0001/9000)
No butthole, can only burp.

Zombieman
DFP (0100/9000)
Small green puff. Traces of nukage carried by each fart can cause sickness after prolonged exposure.

Shotgunner
DFP (0500/9000)
Small concussive blast, can result in broken bones if safe distance isn't maintained during moment of impact.

Chaingunner
DFP (1000/9000)
Rapidfire bursts of armor-piercing sharts. Can shart over fifty times per minute at over five miles until target is eliminated.

Imp
DFP (1200/9000)
Can fart balls of fire accurately enough to lead a target by a few meters. Can use its claws to inject its opponent with incendiary fecal matterial.

Hell Knight/Baron
DFP (1800/9000)
This father/son duo can blow puffs of dangerous plasarrhea at their enemies. Naturally, the dad enjoys farting more than his son, so he doesn't want to die.

Revenant
DFP (3000/9000)
Can shoot shards of bone and the remains of  his own rectum from his mechanical butthole (a piece of machinery on his back that converts his farts into homing poopjectiles).

Cacodemon
DFP (5000/9000)
Two buttholes for flight and self-defense. Can either channel farts through his butthole and launch them through his mouth, or use them to propel himself forward at terrifying speed.

Mancubus
DFP (6000/9000)
He's just like that creepy uncle you never wanted to hang out with. You come into his house, and he doublefarts so hard that his farts glitch through walls and annihilate you.

Lost Soul
DFP (7000/9000)
A former soldier who farted so hard that their head popped off and their skin melted. Farts so hard it screams in agony as it flies toward you, a viscious stream of flaming gas right behind him. Farts hard to make momma proud.

Archvile
DFP (8000/9000)
Vile indeed. If you see this one spread its buttcheeks, run like hell. Uses an advanced fart-tracking system to vanquish its foes, from his butthole, through the ground, and up yours.

Cyberdemon
DFP (9000/9000)
His fine, toned buttcheeks lure you in for the kill. One blast from his well-inspected colon can level an entire city. And that's just when he's playing around. Occasionally, a BFG blast fired by Maes will explode from his ass.

 

Icon of Sin

DFP (???)

The longer the Icon of *farts* Sin stays on Earth *farts* the stronger it *farts* *farts* *farts*

Edited January 27, 2022 by TheMagicMushroomMan

[baja blast rd.]

Among the regular ones, the pain elemental is the highest. It has the required orifice, it expels fiery creatures as an attack, its death sound kind of resembles a fart, and it even has arms to spoon mouthfuls of beans if needed. 

 

Among custom monsters, the Supercharge tortured soul beats even pain elementals.

 

 

[Wavy]

Over 2 decades of Doomworld's existence has led to this thread. Brilliant.

 

But I must ask, does the Cacodemon's 5000 DFP apply to only one of the holes or is it the total power of fart from both holes?

[Silhouette 03]

This thread should be pinned and preserved for generations to come.

[Kyka]

How many mushrooms went into the creative outpouring that is this OP? Asking for a friend.

 

Brilliant, within certain subjective limits.

[The BMFG]

33 minutes ago, Silent Wolf said:

This thread should be pinned and preserved for generations to come.

when my children come out of their mothers wombs the first thing i will do is show them this wonderful doomworld thread

[Biodegradable]

The Everything Else subforum has been criticised pretty heavily for producing trash threads throughout Doomworld's lifespan, but I swear in the almost two years I've been here, the most cursed threads come out of Doom General.